has anyone noticed.. the OW being um.. a clone of you?

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#1 Aug 30 - 10PM

miinx

has anyone noticed.. the OW being um.. a clone of you?

ive noticed a really disturbing pattern with my narc.

all the other women.. the women he cheated on me with, his new girlfriend, the women he cheated on her with... they are so similar to me. if not similar to me, they seem to slowly morph into some sort of clone of me by his urging..

i feel like i sound rather self obsessed, but i can't help but notice it.. what is with this bizarre behavior?

when i met the first woman he cheated on me with, we were both a bit freaked out.. we looked SO much alike, we could have been sisters. similar faces, similar build, the same red hair.

when the women after this also had the same build, red hair.. i chalked it up to having a type.. we all have one, i guess his is curvy with red hair.

however, it was after i left him that things began to get strange. he started dating a heavier girl with brown hair, who dressed very casually.. jeans and tshirts, no makeup. quite the opposite of me..

im a bigger girl but i dress very feminine to accentuate my curves - big curled, bright red hair, always very fluffy 50s/60s style dresses, makeup always done up. im very into fashion and hair, so dressing up, putting together outfits, doing my hair and makeup is something that makes me feel good about myself and i find to be really enjoyable.

it started with him trying to message me everytime he saw a girl who 'reminded him of me'... this would happen at least once a week.

however, slowly his girlfriend has been turned into some sort of disturbing clone of me.. buying her dresses in the girly style i wear... encouraging her to wear makeup..he even has gone so far as to ask her to draw for him.. the girl has not an ounce of artistic interest.. i was an art major and drawing and painting was always a huge hobby of mine and i frequently give those close to me artwork as gifts..

however, what i discovered today takes the cake. turns out he encouraged his brown haired girlfriend to get her hair done. at my old stylist. .. with my exact cut and style, and my color.

WHAT IS WITH THESE FREAKS??

#2 Nov 25 - 10PM

gettinbetter

hmmmm

Now that I think of it all the other girlfriend previous and post me all had brown hair and looked somewhat similiar EXCEPT for me. I am blonde and look nothing like them. Geez I wonder what that means???

#3 Nov 26 - 9AM (Reply to #14)

StillHurting

My narc is my clone!

I do not look like his wife at all, or the first wife either. He copies me and everything I do! He is now my male clone! I kept thinking it was weird that he was so competitive with me, and I would say, "But you are a guy, you don't need to know how to do all this stuff." I guess it fits in with the whole empty inside thing, and he needs to have my information, habits and hobbies because he has none of his own.

#4 Nov 26 - 1PM (Reply to #15)

gettinbetter

The description of who he

The description of who he was looking for on match.com was a description of me!

#5 Nov 25 - 1PM

imabloke

Well this is interesting...

Saw him the boss with her (my ex) ooo.. and no ones knows about them.. how childish... He was wearing the same style as me! open stripped shirt with a t shirt.. she seems to have borrowed a bit of me to transform HIM! Its the 'stepford husband' How pathetic.

#6 Nov 23 - 6AM

helldweller

clones

Eiiieeewwww! That is so creepy! Mine actually didn't seem to care about looks at allThe one who came to my door while we were "in love" was pale white, about six feet tall with long straight brown hair and very plain, the ex fiancee, mediterranean, had shoulder length brown wavy hair and was an accountant. The OW is a five foot tall marathon runner and artist with long black hair and Latina. The woman on our block he drools over is black, my height, and a lawyer. I am 5'5 and curvy with short super blonde curly hair and wear somewhat outlandish clothing. Doesn't matter to him. When you're on your knees, he really can't see you anyway!

#7 Nov 23 - 6AM

sickandtiredofit

Clone wars

She was the clone of who I used to be, when he first met me, and idolized me like he does her now, or at least did a few months ago. I was blonde, I was tiny, I was finishing up my schooling, I was broke, but I was starting my life and just needed a little help - just like her atthis point in her life. Interestingly, he likes to think of himself as a rescuer, NOW I KNOW, he doesn't rescue, he takes hostages. Big price to pay if he helps you. I no longer look the way he liked, which by the way I was very sick and very thin - perfect in his opinion. WHen I got stronger, he lost interest in my looks. She looks like I did, new an improved model of the old me.

#8 Nov 23 - 1AM

blueeyes

I will letcha know

I have no expierence with OW at all. I wish I did so he would leave me the hell alone. If sheis a clone, I will laugh as I heard this before. lol. Narcs are pathetic.

#9 Nov 22 - 6PM

Briseis

It's more like, YOU look

It's more like, YOU look like someone else, along with all these other women he gravitates toward. The woman before you probably looked like you, too. Or you looked like her. My son, who is thankfully a normal young man, has had several girlfriends and they ALL look alike to ME. On the shorter side, curvy but not heavy, great big eyes, dark hair and little spitfires. My daughter said they all look like ME about twenty years ago. The woman my ex exH ended up with after I left apparently was my doppelganger, this according to my daughter and my dad and stepmom, who met her (I never did). I don't think it is US so much as some image they have in their heads. And I sorta think everyone does this, not just Narcs. Maybe it's some biological or chemical thing? Some impression someone makes on a person at a crucial time in development?? I dunno, but I think there is something to it. I SERIOUSLY doubt that "we" (you and I) made such an impression on the Narc that now they are seeking "us" in other women who look like us. I think it started a long time before that and it's YOU who look like someone else. I am getting confused. Where's Despy when I need her, she could write a better song/poem than I can say what I'm trying to say :D

#10 Nov 22 - 5PM

Susan32

The OW was a clone of me and him... a trifecta???

The ex-Psych professor liked it when I looked like him... when I wore pants, shirts, jeans. The more masculine I looked, the more I was his reflection. We were both short, brunette, dark eyed. As one of my friends said "He's attracted to you because you look like a boy." (WTH?) Whenever I dressed in a feminine way, he'd accuse me of "charming nonsense", of being frivolous, vain, being a slut. His face would darken with disapproval if I practically skipped to him, smiling, wearing a pink/yellow dress. He'd be glaring, and I'd ask him why he was angry, etc. The OW who eventually married him wasn't shabby. She reminded me of one of my high school buddies- wearing retro glasses (the '50s, '60s type, think of the MAD MEN era) a pants suit. She was more of HIS clone than I was. She dressed in a manly way, she had a crew cut like him. She was his reflection even more than I could ever be. It's like the ex-P's perfect woman was a reflection of himself.

#11 Nov 22 - 5PM

truthseeker

miinx

When I found out courtesy of FB that he was in a relationship, but had hoovered me for 10 months I was shocked. I can't deny she was attractive. Those close to me said she looked like me. I thought she was more attractive, just giving credit where due. The photo later looks as if she has been through Holy Hell. When he introduced me to a business associate once he said I knew she'd be a redhead. Every woman on his FB was an ex. Still can't figure out how anyone would be friends with him. Plenty of blondes but he definitely preferred red. Anyway Since NC back in July I no longer look. Who needs the added pain.

#12 Aug 31 - 8AM

RenewD

Clones

My ex remarried. Because we have a child that we are still raising, and do not do it cooperatively together, she stepped in and has taken over the communication between he and I so that we all have a way of staying on the same page raising him. I've been talking to her, almost exclusively through email, for about four months now. She is SO much like me it's almost creepy. She doesn't look AT ALL like me, but as far as the way she handles relationships, organizes things, her views on what is in the best interest of my kids, music, health and exercise...we may as well have been best friends since we were born! The strange thing is....all the things she likes, all of the opinions and views she has that are like mine, were the VERY things my ex said he hated about me!! This realization was very difficult to come to terms with, but it has helped me in realizing that it WASNT me that was the problem in my relationship with my exNH. Most of the time, I feel sorry for her, she's an amazing woman, and I know what she has in store with him. When the day comes that she realizes that he is toxic for her, just as I did...I will be here for her. It's not her fault that he has her completely fooled.

#13 Aug 31 - 2AM

moonshine

I have noticed

I have noticed that they have habits that change hard. My N does not change his products that he use etc. I guess we are nothing more than an object and hence they want the objects to look similar. Yes, the other thread similar to this topic was interesting too.

#14 Aug 31 - 1AM

aceonelady

yep...just like me he said....

Well ex N told mme while on the phone a year go that he was talking on Skype with a girl that was just like me,but not so crazy as i am...and he said they were love to love with each other but that thing had to get off the ground yet...So i asked him is she your girlfriend ...he said yes but she doesn,t know yet...Later he said it didn't had worked out the way he wanted...he was very irritated and he said i was a sorceress and had jinxed him that every relationship he gets from now wwon is doomed....and he said she is a good person good folks as you....

Aceonelady

#15 Aug 31 - 12AM

sweetsamm

mine were completely opposite..

Mine was the opposite...they all looked completely different from me.....nothing at all similar...he picked total plain janes,women with no style,out of date hairstyles,no personalities,out of shape bodies,low class.....it literally blew my mind once i saw them...I don't get their out of control cheating either way...plus,who are these women????? I know it's the N's fault for cheating,but what about one of these women saying no.......I had a married man hit on me non-stop,met him when he came into my place of employment,had no idea he was married,at lunch,he finally told me,he had a sob story about how his ex had beat breast cancer but refused to get nipples put on the reconstructed breasts,like how dare her...I was disgusted when he told me he was married,BUT after the cancer story,what a PIG,i told him he was the most selfish asshole i had ever met....and i'm sure some stupid woman fell for it hook,line and sinker......

#16 Aug 31 - 12AM

helldweller

minx

Hi! There was a thread on here not too long ago about this--about how we all look the same. Maybe Lisa or Betty can point you to it . . . ?

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