Has anyone every moved out of state to get away & be NC forever???

I actually moved back to my hometown after 6 years of dealing with who I now know to be Narc #2 in my life. It was the best thing I ever did just so I wouldn't have to deal with him hoovering every 6 months. Moving back home where you know people is a totally different scenario. That said, I have moved to a new city where I didn't know anyone, and I completely started over. It's REALLY hard. I didn't realize how hard it was because I was too stupid to realize that it was going to be a year before I got my feet under me. I wasn't grieving a relationship so I have no idea how much more difficult that would be. I say wait until you are thinking a little more clearly and KNOW you are not running away from something. It can be very lonely being in a new city. I think about picking up again every day. I hate living in the same neighborhood and always looking for his black truck everywhere I go. EVERYONE here has a black truck! I was on vacation this weekend, and it was SO nice to not worry about looking over my shoulder every 10 seconds. When I'm healthier, maybe a move will be in my future, but I am definitely going to a city where I already know people. Just wait.....it's not a bad idea, but not when you are grieving. Hugs!

My advice would be to wait a while. Not sure how long you have been NC. But healing from a narc is grieving process. During any grieving process, most grief counselors would advise waiting 1 year before making any life changing decisions. It seems intriguing I know, but you don't want to end up making a mistake. Give it some time and see how you feel. What is your support system like in your current location?

I've read here of Ns/Ps who declare their eternal love-then skip town without a word. The ex-Psych (as in psychopath) prof sabotaged my teacher education program at UNM, I was accused of being "a danger to children." Those were the words, despite having a spotless record at the local elementary school... and I would go on to a successful teaching job in Oregon. I briefly had a job as a cashier--that went down after a month--and I moved back to Oregon. I didn't tell anyone, except some friends who didn't live in town, and only my roommate knew I was moving. I didn't even tell the professors I trusted. So... I pulled what is called the vanishing act. In an odd way, I think the ex-P wanted to do that (but I ended up living the dream) after the final D&D. I think HE wanted new hunting grounds... to move on... to get a new set of colleagues... but NO, 3 years after the final D&D he got tenure. So he was stuck with people from his past and knew every detail of it. I moved on... literally.

to another state,not easy,left good friends but was ready as had lived there for many years and everywhere i went brought back memories of him or us,at least this is new and different, still adjusting............and you have to be prepared for the loneliness but have my phone and computer.

I moved out of state after divorcing my first xph. He was stalking me and obviously not going to let me live my life in peace with my NC. In my case, it was the best thing I could have done for myself. Admittedly, I did have my parents living in a nearby town where I moved, so I wasn't completely alone. However, I did get totally away from xph, set up a life of my own, and go back school. I made new friends and found activities that I enjoyed. It was a chance for me to start fresh without any intrusion from xph, any of his family, or any old mutual friends. I took the chance and it worked out really well for me. :) Now, if I could just get rid of my second xnh as easily as I did the first one (yes, I'm slow learner and did this route twice). My second xnh is like a hemorrhoid hanging around that I just can't make go away. lol.

I agree with farmgirl. I moved to a more fun and beautiful place. It's not a cure, but what I read this morning here is that seeing them, their smell, the sound of their voice, etc makes N/C harder, so I don't have that. Are you already n/c and how long? I lived with mine and had been n/c only about 1 week, so when I got to where I was going it was hard! I felt like I was detoxing, anxious, and sad bc it was so final, no going-back-now-type-thing, but like I said, it was complicated. He had called many times before I left, and I didn't respond. I had some second thoughts about leaving afterward, but it has made n/c slightly easier, but it has still been VERY tough! We were LD before I moved to be with my xN, but there really is no point bc I wouldn't want to move back. Comparing the two cities, I'm in heaven! :)

My Narc is in another state! What difference will it make! They are like cockroaches,they are everywhere ! Hunter

It would probably be the easiest route if you are up to the challenge. When I went thru my divorce many years ago I read this book called "Letting Go". In it was just such advice. I very nearly moved to the opposite spot on the map from where I live now. I had a house and a job but at the last minute chickened out. I've considered it again with this N because this split will be far harder than my divorce. Not to mention he's a terrible father to his other 2 after he split with his EX so I have no doubt he will do the same to the 4yo... Sigh.