Has anybody else found that whilst healing that you are finding....

These are all wonderful things to consider and look forward to as recovery brings you back to yourself. Thanks for sharing!!! God bless, Goldie

Dee, definetly true things in this post. I`ve watched several movies, with the single purpose of noticing patters of Narcisistic behaviour. And some where I wasn`t paying attention to that, and in the end found myself noticing, "Oh, that`s a Narc!" And yes, all this experience CAN make us learn things about ourselfs, to take care of ourselfs better, to be more present in life. When I find myself in moments of doubt, I remember the situation, how much could I hold onto a person like that? Even if through a miracle he WOULD get better. Could I trust him afterall that happened?.. And my gut tells me loud and clear..NO..ENOUGH.

Yes! Although I'm still in so much pain a lot of the time, I have become much more appreciative of normal people saying and doing what is just plain normal, friendly and nice. Like you too, I'm also seeing people around me differently - I'm more aware. On the TV, films, in the news, in everyday life - I find myself at times categorising them into non-pathological or disordered. Plus I'm discovering that friends,family and colleagues also know other Ns - getting the feeling that the word is spreading - society needs to be educated. And I teach Literature to students - so these character traits loom large on the page every time now, but in the past I would never have seen the full psychology of these characters, just called them 'controlling', needing power, etc. And even if before I had used the term 'psychopath', eg Iago in Othello, I now see the full, detailed, specific truth of the characterisation. Maybe there is a social 'fog' too, which prevented us from being really aware of how much psychopathy there is out there. It's only our personal encounters which have educated us.

yes yes yes Dee .. in the morass still but my MIND and Body is NC.. and even this iota of NC helps me in healing. Felt good to read this post from you sweet friend. Love and Prayers.

It is so nice to wake up each day, and roll out of bed and the first thought of the day, is what sort of bs will he be putting me thru today....no more catering to his every whim.....I even had to put his socks and shoes on him every frigging day we were together....lol lets see his fatass do that now!!! Took me weeks before I could finally say I got a halfway decents night sleep....im still not there yet where I can lay down at 9 in the evening and not wake up until 6 or 7 the next morning......its more like 1 or 2 in the morning too 6, but the hours I do sleep at good ones not the tossing and the turning of the months and years past. Smiles and compliments from strangers are some new and rewarding now.....before we knew better than to even acknowledge another person in their presences lest we be accusing of cheating on them. As if most of us would have had the nerve to do that, knowing what would have happened if we did. I look forward to each new day now, and what it may hold in store for me...open to the opportunity that might just be a footstep away.

oh, yes. the day i went NC the weight started lifting and the color started coming back into my world. Oh, I had many many many moments of pain and sorrow that would also follow as i continued NC, BUT the smallest things brought me deep joy again. i see, really see, my children again i am thrilled to drive to work and be thinking about WORK instead of the blob i revel in the beauty of the evening sky and the setting sun i feel giddy more often i smile when i notice any progress in my narc recovery i love sitting on my porch, drinking my coffee and NOT journaling like a mad woman (i still like journaling, just not the way it was with the narc) The list could go on and on and on. I am SO much more happy and notice and soak up SO many more joys in life without the narc. And yes, also notice narcs around me and in movies and books. It is a blessing and a curse, really... NC is a monumental challenge at times, and feels impossible some days, but when I look at the whole picture; who I am now and who I was with the blob, there is NO turning back. hugs, adoette