This has always been very comforting to me....

This is why I believe there are no "accidents" as far as life experiences are concerned. I believe we are all here to learn lessons from each other - we learn from NARCS, as they learn from us (albeit at a slower rate :))

I don't mean to disrespect anyone else's religious, or non religious beliefs, this is just a sample of what I belive.

blueeyes's picture

Lisa, That was great. I wish I ould be HN for a day and expierence what lack of emotional control feels like. Or watch how many ppl make fun of me to my face?
janine's picture

This is what I feel, too, that we are here to learn and grow. Until I had therapy years ago, I'd figured that most people would see it this way. My therapist disagreed. Apparently many people don't, which is why some grow bitter and resentful. My narcissistic ex has indeed been my teacher, my chance to work out my own hang-ups through reflection and projection. Sadly, this was not so for him. He absolutely realized there was a lot wrong with him. But then it was so much easier to blame others. I feel lucky that while having been out of touch with my feelings before, I had not been as totally cut off as he has been since childhood.
Used's picture

yes i too have asked why i metthe n,s this is what i think,my mum,taught me that love doesnt exsist for some people[her] and will only appreciate what she lost when she could no longer get it back[me], my exnh, taught me words and promises mean nothing, it is acting on your promises that count[he didnt] he also in his own way made me see the n ,s behavior and falseness early on[as i reconised this behavior from him] i still hung in there with n,to no avail, he couldnt be diffrent, but the theme running thru these 3, was they all said to me as i was bringing them to a close, was i didnt know what i had in you till i lost it. well when i was with them they took me for granted, so when they take someone for granted they dont even think of what you are bringing to the plate,you dont get thought about at all,you are just always there to be a prop, support and everything rolled into one. without beign arrogant, i know what they lost in losing me. but more importantly, they know what they lost. and that is enough for me, when i get down and resentful, i think of what the 3 of them said to me,and have said it to other people,that they feel lost without me, and i think .that is karma.i dont care what they get, or will have in the future, they will never have me again.they dont exsist for me.
Used's picture

double post whoops
Susan32's picture

It was after the D&D, the ex-P said "Think of me as just your teacher","I was NEVER your friend" and how all he did was fulfill a role. He even said, after all the hurt I had been through, "I hope you remember how I taught you how to relate to other people" (This is the same guy who admitted early on HE didn't know how to relate to others) Considering he was a psychopath, he was probably plagiarizing someone else's words of wisdom. But one has to sort the wheat from the chaff. I so AGREE with you Janine. The entire experience put me in TOUCH with my feelings instead of numb me to them. We ARE here to learn and grow... because NOT growing means withering, dying. I wanted to GROW from my terrible experience rather than become bitter as a result of it. Yes, there is residual anger. Yes, I was profoundly wronged. But I learned how to trust more in God, trust REAL friends, the value of my family, and the gratitude for simply being alive. A few years ago, my father said that I have the "joy of being alive." 10 years ago, he could NOT have said that about me.
lisalisa47's picture

I have to say that THIS was the most painful and betraying experience I've ever had -- even worse that being kidnapped and raped by an outlaw Hell's angel iv user years before. I NEVER blamed myself for my rape, although I've always admitted i was responsible for putting myself in the way of those types of people, but in the NARC case i felt deccimated at first, by one betrayl after another. OH, and the GUILT i STILL feel about "poor" NARC, what's THAT ALL ABOUT? lol But i know that i am growing through this journay to maybe finally work on MYSELF, instead of another - which is part of what i think this lesson is about.