hard lessons, fear and grief

this isn't just about the narc but i think he put the nail in the coffin for me. this is about being too nice, not getting my needs met, being afraid to be alone. i'm doing a lot of soul searching. its painful. i cry alot. i feel abandoned alot. nothing seems to be working in my life, and still i am consumed...by my life. its selfish and i've neglected friends and family. just can't seem to get out of this rut.

bakingfortherapy's picture

I have been there too. It us very hard when you feel lost and left by the Narc and you have that VOID. But you should be proud of yourself for doing the soul searching. The book titled Women who love too much by Robin Norwood is really helpful. It seems like the book could really speak to you right now. It is one of about 10 books I got since the N and a really good one. Good luck.
Arwen's picture

I know just how you feel. The being alone issue has always been a huge one for me. I wouldn't admit it to myself for years but now I am. And funny, since coming on this board four months ago and losing ex N and getting closer to my kids, I am not so scared of going it alone.
borderline's picture

even when i'm with someone i feel alone because i fear they will leave me in some way...die, fall out of love, etc. i hope it gets easier.