Hard Day-Can't stop the tears

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#1 Apr 25 - 4PM
curlybrown
curlybrown's picture

Hard Day-Can't stop the tears

Why is it that we know what/who we are dealing with but it still hurts? Went to my therapist today...all in all good session. Realizing my triggers. I got an injunction against the N and now I'm regretting getting it. It's so hard with a now one year-old who looks sooo much like his father. I want him back so bad; and I know it's only because of my fear of being alone. I know I am not alone but why doesn't the pain end?

Apr 26 - 8AM
kgirl
kgirl's picture

I'm so sorry you're hurting

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much. We're mourning the loss of a soulmate. It hurts even more because that soulmate never existed.....and yet their shell is here walking this earth haunting us. So we mourn the loss, let the pain out, heal and move on. Sending you strength and a warm hug :) ~KG
Apr 25 - 5PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Curly

I know the feeling. The pain ends when you set yourself free. You need to come to terms of what this man is, When you do ,that's when you get off the Rollercoaster. Do not back down they are master manipulators. Remember this needs to be about you and your child. Your upset because you believed this man your soulmate and he turned into the devil. Sleeping with the devil is very Dangerous. Hunter
Apr 25 - 6PM (Reply to #2)
curlybrown
curlybrown's picture

Setting myself free

Thanks Hunter... I really appreciate a response. I'm in such dire need of reassurance right about ALL WEEKEND. Ughh...I hate even admitting it. I'm shaming myself that it's my fault because I ended it. I couldn't deal with him anymore...now I lured him back into OW's arms so quickly because I was no longer his supply. It is so sick to miss the drama and being sick from it. I'm trying so hard. Is that what it is...Am I trying too hard? I made sure the police escorted him out when he refused to leave. I got the injunction and fought for it when he refused to leave me alone. I asked for a longer extension to ensure NO COTACT...for my recovery. So why is it that now I feel horrible for everything I've done to get him out of my life?
Apr 25 - 6PM (Reply to #3)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Curley

Contact makes it's more difficult! Make the best of the contact, really study the behavior, it's crazy making, once you really see the illness in action I think you can let go. I had contact on Thursday it was very upsetting! However I took a set back looked at the crazy behavior and words and deceided enough is enough! Leave me alone! They create too much trouble in our lives to allow them to be a part of it! I hope this helps! Remember protect yourself and child! Hunter