The "Happy Go Lucky Narc Ex H" -

My exnarch always used to refer to himself as "happy go lucky self"....people always comment on how "happy go lucky I am"....my psychiatrist just always tells me "how happy I am and just enjoy myself"....gag me.

I reluctantly agreed yesterday to allow him to buy d12 and I dinner after she and I went shopping for a new horse. He wanted to "share in the day" with us, even tho he could have come along (but did not of course because he spent day with OW skank). I agreed to it for my d's sake. But anyway, as I was sitting there at the same place we used to go as a family, I watched him, listened to him, observed....and thought "Is he really fucking clueless/idiot, putting on the act of being "happy go lucky/nice guy"....or is he really just dim and stupid? Or, is he putting on a show of just being so "happy" and carefree?

Here is the thing that I'm wondering. He does act so happy when I see him. He does act like he has not a care in the world (the world he and OW with zero responsibilities share in). He does sort of seem constantly just enjoying himself. So...he is 44 and does have a job and a mortgage. But, he really has very little responsibility for a man of his educational level and prospect. But maybe "our life" was too complex and complicated for him? Maybe all the rage and anger and resentment was simply him not being able to keep up? Maybe now...he really just can be "happy go lucky" because the demands are no longer there for him in any adult way. He and OW tan, pool, party, parent every other week with their kids, and she has never had a job.

Does this make him a narc? Now...I am about 99% sure he is....and I've seen it in him in almost every way. He as diagnosed several times. And he has thrown me into walls, he has abused me psycholigically. He is completely selfish and self absorbed. Obsessed with his looks and body. He has abandoned his own child and caused her enormous pain. He ignored, humiliated, betrayed and denied me love for many years. And, he has no empathy for anything we have gone through. Skipped off into the sunset after 18 years together. No pain. No sorrow. No grief. NADA.

But, it got me wondering....What do you all think? Can they act the part too much...or is he just so emotionally immature that maybe he is just "relieved" to not have to face up to being a man, head of household...all of that?