a good therapist will help this process big time!!!

9 posts / 0 new

#1 Jul 9 - 11PM

Anonymous (not verified)

a good therapist will help this process big time!!!

I read alot of you - are hesitant about therapy. I am telling you- that a good therapist who understands the emotional trauma you have been through IS key to moving through and moving on. Make your healing your #1 priority! this means for me- rather than movies or dinner out- I pay a good therapist hundreds of $ a month. It makes a difference! friends and this forum are not enough I believe.

A good therapist helps you heal your old wounds that got you in this N. relationship in the first place. they help re parent you- give you the unconditional love, acceptance and allowance that you deserved as a little girl. They also teach you how to re parent YOURSELF so that you never get into one of these gut wrenching dynamics again.

I look at the $ I spend on my compassionate wise therapist AS IMPORTANT as the food I buy, the heat I pay for in my home, the gas in my work car....It is VITAL to propelling me to a place of deep healing.

Others may disagree because they have never had the experience of working with a very skilled compassionate conscious therapist...Well, I am and have and I can tell you- having this support can make the difference between cutting the cord with the N. 100% or going back to more hell.

Just my two cents. Love and Blessings.

#2 Jul 10 - 9PM

Lost

I agree ...

I agree with the statement about a good therapist helping with the healing process. You will know if you find the right one, my psychologist was the one who said to me that it sounded like me ex had a personality disorder and was a narcissist ... she has been supportive but also challenges me in a good way to try and see things differently such as when my ex N called his new supply his girlfriend and then said it was some label because calling her the woman who takes him shopping and brings him free meat is nasty!! She challenged me to think what label he had given me when we were together ... Meditation and self-discovery courses/books are also a good healing tool :-)

#3 Jul 10 - 8PM

Erali

I support this statement

I support this statement 100%! I found a great therapist as well (which can take some time, they won't all feel right for you!). Once I found mine though, she changed my life. She has been very supportive, and understanding. This board is also good because it give you peers to talk to as well, who truly understand what you went through. The therapist can get more personal with you though, and work one on one to get you to where you need to be :)

#4 Jul 10 - 9AM

gettinbetter

Yes I have made this same

Yes I have made this same post. This board is not enough. It is helpful and fills in the space between sessions but it is not a cure all. Its the combinatin of all three that pulls you thru.

#5 Jul 10 - 5AM

onwithmylife

striving for healing, you are so right

I went to different therapists over the 15 years I went with the narc and all but one was really helpful to my healing and recovery and i am poor, so went to universities, where you get a person working on their masters or Phd. and have to do a certain amount of patients hours to ear their degree, or low cost counseling to get the aid I needed. It moves you along much easier and you realize it is not You but him that has the problem.Need to find someone versed in personality disorders and as you said to figure out why you stayed so long with them ,going back to your own family of origin.This board is very helpful but you do need a professional on board with you.

#6 Jul 10 - 5AM

drazia

therapy

How do you know if they can help? What makes a good therapist? Any pointers? I made a appt for next week.

#7 Jul 10 - 12PM (Reply to #3)

strivingforhealing (not verified)

for me a good therapist understands childhood wounding

and brings it back to that. None of us came from Enlightened parents.none of us. they were all imperfect in some way at giving unconditional love and acceptance. It is not the solution to continually blame our past/parents- but we do need to first acknowledge, then tell it to another, then make connections, then grieve. any good therapist will bring the past to the present and help heal the past by unconditionally supporting you through the pain. also- a good therapist MAKES YOU LOOK AT THINGS DIFFERENTLY. especially when you are stuck- they give you a perspective that can free your mind/heartache/obsession in that moment. a good therapist is not just a "yes person". they challenge you compassionately to look beyond your own self limiting beliefs. they hold you in a safe space yet they also push you when you are holding yourself back.

#8 Jul 10 - 12PM (Reply to #4)

gettinbetter

You are right on with this

You are right on with this sfh. Right on. No they are not yes men. They challenge you. They see things from a totally different perspective. They see things in you that you don't see in yourself good and not so good. Ocassionally they tell you something they hurts but is true. They are completely objective because they were not involved in any way. They see things just as they are

#9 Jul 10 - 6AM (Reply to #2)

onwithmylife

Drazia

you only know if they can help. if you try a therapist and find someone who understands personality disorders, ask them.

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