Good News They Can Change

I do NOT recommend breaking NC... and what I found, it was by happenstance, I wasn't looking for it. Let's just say I was at my college's website due to the recent passing of a classmate...and I found out that the ex-Psych prof was giving a lecture titled "Quietism on the Side of Happiness",and that it was somehow a word salad of Wittgenstein, Schopenhauer, and Tolstoy, with a Russian dressing of "War and Peace." He's as obsessed with "War and Peace" as he was 15 years ago. He has lost interest in St. Augustine... because somehow I won with that one. My senior thesis forever ruined Augustine for him. He's still a pompous bore. And with that clunky word salad title "Quietism on the Side of Happiness", he's misusing grammar *WORSE* than when I knew him(!!!) He used to be coherent back in the day. And the class he gave on Schopenhauer- the description he wrote was scrambled eggs on salad, like that song for the "Frasier" show.

OMG! When I read this, I thought you were being facetious! I didn't think you were serious until I started reading the other posts. It sounds almost exactly like what mine did and something he would say. "I was tired of the same old same ole so I had to change I could not change you but I am able to control me and that is what I am doing. I had to change me. I am tired of existing I want to start living. Bye" Mine said, after the Grande Finale D&D dumping me for recycled supply, "I'm not getting any younger and I was ready for a new chapter in my life. I learned from my mistakes with you and I'm not going to make the same ones with her. This is my REAL personality. This is how I really am." And I love how they end with just, "Bye." So cold and abrupt. At the time, I believed he was going to be a better man for her than he was for me and it killed me, but it's because I didn't know what he was yet and hadn't done all the reading I have for the past few months. Now I know these are PREDICTABLE cycles they repeat over and over and over again with EVERY woman. The length of the relationship may vary, but they all end the same. They NEVER change except to get worse over time. Mine even said once, "Nothing good ever lasts.... not with me anyway." I told him he would screw up this relationship just like every other one. Later on he asked me about that a couple of times, wanting to know if I really thought that would happen. I said, "I really don't know" at that point because I didn't want him taking it as a challenge and putting in extra effort just to prove me wrong, which is just the sort of thing he would do. So I know, deep down he's worried about this and when it all falls apart, like it eventually will, he'll remember my words.

Hi precious one Great job with NC (BTW is there any reason you dont block him?) ok Lets read that just once more time shall we? its a quote he heard(from 12 step) but as ussual Narc's cant get anything quite right they have to add or subtract or get words wrong they need to do that annoying Narcspeak thing they do (how else can they confuse folks? ok were reading.. "I cannot CHANGE you "but I am able to CONTROL me" (and you ) the rest is also jumbled and inccorrect "so I changed me?" um when?.. BTW you can only CONTROL anything for so long, so no CHANGE hold that beachball underwater as much as you can (control it) its gonna keep popping up unless the beachball is DEFLATED (changed) say you will hold your breath,control your breath sooner or later your gonna breathe because that is what you have to do to live my point is that HE is always going to be about CONTROL because that is what a Narc has to do to live CHANGING is the last thing on his mind CONTROL is the best they can do, No CHANGE when people make a CHANGE, or change themselves they dont Email it. (typical narc move) they just go ahead and people notice the change, Im so sorry to say this but being a Malignant Narcissist is fatal there is no surgury to excise it Avid, look up the word Malignant wow he is a real N please, just stay in your lane, as you have been, not giving him supply..nothing my motto? "starve the N" not a syllable not a breath you get to keep your dignity and that is powerful he is still keeping you in the picture as he always did he's just using different words, to make you think he can change(thats so funny) he cant, not ever, he is missing that stage of development and he's not and cannot go back in time to fix it he cant, CONTROL is the best they can do to them it even seems like change ( so twisted) ist nt dont be fooled, your too precious be blessed k ok "

Narcs don't change...they are incurable, they are mentally ill...moreover he said it all: "I can't control you"...that is what he wanted to do all along. He recycles. He'll be back - make sure you don't bite. Hugs!

Hahaha! He beat you again! Do you see? It's all manipulation! Do the actions meet the words? Hunter

Maybe "bye" is in the Narc handbook?!?!?

Oh, brother. Yep. All the time.

You poor thing! Im sorry, but you are not seeing things clearly yet. He contacted you to tell you he changed to make you believe he had and trust me, he hasn't. He wants to test the waters with you. He wants you to beg for him now. Trust me when I say this man HAS NOT changed. Please read read read. He is going to come back to you again and it sounds like it's a continuous cycle of supply for him. He changes partners when he feels like. You can end it by not responding and never speaking to him again. It's your choice for your own happiness.

The fact that he sent that note to you? Shows...he didn't change. lol I'm being serious. If he was a hardcore abuser to you? He didn't just change. He changed WOMEN. But, he didn't change. And the fact that he's 'declaring' that to you? Shows he hasn't. He's still interested in keeping you on the backburner...juuuust in case. The fact that he signed it 'bye,' it's just so classic.

I don't believe him. How long has he been with the recycled OW? I think he's trying to get you back on the hook by pretending he is changed so you let your guard down. This guy has a recycled OW, you possibly on the hook (or so he thinks), and probably other OWs out there. He has *no reason* to change. You're right that there is nothing to do but move on. But you're wrong that you needed to change something about yourself to keep him. He wants you to think that! He wants you to let your guard down by thinking it's you and then when he comes back around saying he's "better" and "different" you'll let him in. If he's so changed and happy with recycled OW, why does he have to announce it to you? Why not just let you live your life the way he's supposidly moving on and living his? I'd take his text with a grain of salt the size of Spain.

the loser did you a FAVOR. Yea, he can change alright. He'll change his way right back to your doorstep when he D & D's the recycled supply. He's so changed that he has to recycle supply! Wow. That's novel. That "living." You will move forward, find happiness and a full life free of chaos and destruction and he'll be doing the same old same old that he's so terribly "tired of." Ho hum... Believe me. This "guy" is giving you a gift. I can't wait for you to be so unavailable and unconcerned and of course unresponsive when he comes back to recycle you... Avid, I hope you have a good day. Things will get better. Love and light to you and all who stop here from (not) spinning. NOT POSSIBLE. THE SICK MF'ER TRIED REALLY HARD BUT HE COULDN'T TAKE ME DOWN!!