Gonna bust myself here

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#1 Oct 19 - 11AM
Secondtimearound
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Gonna bust myself here

This is what is going through my head right now.

I was going to go by a cheap phone so he won't have my new number. I moved several hundred miles away from him and then changed my number. I was wanting to just hear his voice. What I hope to accomplish by that, I don't know.

I started a clean slate and I don't want to taint a damn thing here with anything to do with him. I need to remember that.

So, maybe if I out myself right here, right now, I won't be tempted to contact him.

Why do I think I just want to hear his voice? I know I am lying to myself. I want him to have changed. I want to hear that all the bad stuff I came to see in him was not true and all in my head. I want to think it was me, not him, and that means I can do something about it. I want him to be what I thought he was.

I let him into a part of me that I haven't let anyone into before and now I feel so lonely and empty. I didn't feel that way before I met him. I have this idea bouncing around in my head that only he can fix it.

Oct 19 - 8PM
Done sourcing
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Hey Sta, You said a few

Oct 19 - 1PM
CherryCola
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You've already made a really

Oct 19 - 1PM
Deidre99
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I have had a mini epiphany

Oct 20 - 1PM (Reply to #8)
Snowflake
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Deidre :)

Oct 19 - 1PM (Reply to #5)
Secondtimearound
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Honestly

Oct 20 - 2PM (Reply to #7)
Janie53
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Secondtimearound

Oct 20 - 5AM (Reply to #6)
Deidre99
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I see. lol I can't help you

Oct 19 - 1PM
tryingtorecover
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s- l- o- w d-o-w-n

Oct 19 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
Secondtimearound
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Thanks

Oct 19 - 2PM (Reply to #3)
tryingtorecover
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gotta love the bounce