The Game Narcs Play .

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#1 Nov 26 - 3PM
Scoop
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The Game Narcs Play .

I had a flip through my journal tonight and i came across this short converstaion i had with my narc , just to set the scene we had spent all weekend in bed with him wispering sweet nothings in my ear .I was so doped up on oxytocin and dopamine that i didnt even remember my own name let alone see this little gem of abuse comming .

Narc (just after we had made love).." the trouble with you scoop is that you dont read my moods , if you did you would know when i want you here and when i dont ."
Scoop " do you ever read my moods ?"
Narc " i dont have to"
Scoop "do you want me to go "
Narc " HA its you who keeps comming over , i told you before im not bothered"
Scoop "you asked me to come over , we had plans "
Narc "yeah well i changed my mind , and if you had read my moods you would have got that "

The keeping of a jornal in healing is so important , if you havent started a jornal buy one today and write it all down , i cant tell you how in months to come you will be greatfull you did this for yourself .It is key to recovory . I read this pathetic exchange between my abuser and i and can see straight through him and know that he was a manipulationg jerk .. here are some other games psychopaths like to play writen by a girlfriend on Heartlessbitch.com

Games You Play:

1. The forgetting game:

You are asked to do something you don't want to do. Instead of saying no, you either "forget" about it or sabotage it so badly that the results are useless. You enjoy the frustration this causes others - this is your sneaky way of asserting yourself and controlling the situation from behind the scenes.

2. The withholding game:

Once in a relationship with someone, you begin to selectively withhold your time and affection. The other person senses this pulling away and asks about it. You deny it. But you let them know, indirectly, that many other things are more important to you than they are - your friends, your work, your opera DVDs. You let them know this by leaving their company to pursue these interests without telling them you are doing so. You enjoy the feeling of being in control, knowing you have falsely promised someone your attention later in the evening and knowing you have no intention of fulfilling that promise. You will "forget" to come back, and enjoy your evening alone knowing you are ruining someone else's. When the person confronts you about this treatment, you will act put out at the suggestion that your actions should live up to your words. You just can't remember to keep your promises! But you always remember the score you needed to finish, the DVD you needed to watch, the book you needed to read, the friends who needed your help. You know full well that this will have the effect of making your partner feel small and insignificant, and that's just the way you like your partner to feel - that way she will be more dependent on you, desperate for your attention, and under your control.

3. The lying game:

Lies roll smoothly off your tongue whenever you are confronted about your behavior and/or something you failed to mention about your past, such as being currently married and the father of two children (now that is a big thing to "forget", even if you alienated them so badly that they don't want to spend any time with you any more). Lying by omission is lying, pure and simple. But you didn't lie on purpose, you claim. No, you just forgot, or your emotional pain was so great that you just couldn't bear to tell the truth!

4. The deflecting game:

Partner becoming suspicious of your lies? No matter, just deflect the attention! Change the subject, wander off, or start ruthlessly (and falsely) putting yourself down so that she won't have the heart to be "mean" enough to pursue the matter any further. If she persists, then you play:

5. The martyr game:

This is your favorite game of all. This game allows you to escape responsibility for anything and everything by invoking your status as the most misunderstood, mistreated, helpless and victimized martyr who ever walked the earth. Nobody understands you or your pain! Don't they see that being a victim completely justifies the way you turn around and become a victimizer at will? Nobody could ever suspect poor little abused, tormented you of torpedoing relationships.
Nobody could expect such an innocent little lamb of deliberately causing emotional and psychological damage to others. Why, look at the way he cries and curls up into a helpless little ball when confronted (and when the lying and deflecting games don't work)! He could never harm ANYONE. He's so broken up over all the deaths in his family, even though they occurred YEARS ago and EVERYONE has to deal with death at some point in their lives. Broken up over the death of his friend, so much that he can't be held responsible for any of his lying, manipulative behavior. Because no one else ever suffered the way he has suffered. The Martyr has no pity or compassion for anyone else, since he saves it all for himself.

6. The superior game:

Unlike all the other people on Earth, you're incapable of anger. You're a regular Gandhi, full of kindness and respect for all, and it's such a tragedy that other people feel the need to get angry at you. You'd never push someone's buttons until they responded in anger and then deny any wrongdoing, setting them up to look like the emotional, crazy one. You'd never get satisfaction out of a nasty little game like that, because you're too superior. You're also superior to the rest of the world culturally - nobody is as sensitive and artistic as you, and nobody appreciates your kind of music, or appreciates it at such a lofty level. You especially love to pull this routine after you've seriously pissed somebody off. You respond with calm politeness - calm of course, since you have got the angry/upset reaction you were aiming for - and double-whammy the person by showing them how YOU never get angry because you are too superior a person to be capable of anger. If someone shows any personality trait that could be considered a flaw, you pull this same routine and let them know that YOU are incapable of such personality flaws, because YOU are so much better than they are.

Big love Scoop xx

Nov 27 - 7PM
IncognitoBurrito
IncognitoBurrito's picture

Life

Life is complex enough, with all of it's twists and turns. They're giving themselves, and us- if we fall for it, more work. It's unnecessary, I think. Games, games, games... you'd think being genuine would be much less work. It doesn't make sense. Then again, they do not have a true self. So games are all they have, I suppose. But that's just an excuse for continually poor behavior. Anybody else would be expected to take responsibility and learn, and to grow.
Nov 27 - 3AM
uk lady
uk lady's picture

Hi Scoop

Are you sure you don't know my ex? All the above relates exactly to him and like the majority of us I spent most of my time walking around stunned, confused and raging - in that order. He certainly knew how to press my buttons and would then turn the tables and accuse me of doing that to him. Thanks for the reminder to keep myself aware. Dee x
Nov 26 - 3PM
Redhead
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So true, Scoop

Thank you for posting this, Scoop.
Nov 26 - 8PM (Reply to #3)
nomoredenial
nomoredenial's picture

WOW

All those times I thought it was me. I know some stuff is mine and I own it.....but there are so many times I can think of that I would walk away thinking What the hell was that Thanks for posting
Nov 26 - 8PM (Reply to #2)
nomoredenial
nomoredenial's picture

WOW

All those times I thought it was me. I know some stuff is mine and I own it.....but there are so many times I can think of that I would walk away thinking What the hell was that