The Future OW Showed Up to Rent His Apt: More Educated, Younger, Attractive, Aggresive with N Features

Imagine this. I'm at N's house; things have been bad for a number of years (6) and I'm sitting on his couch while we read from the Course in Miracles. His Associate rings the bell and brings in a person who wants to rent his apartment a few doors down. In walks an attractive tall woman, about 40 something. When she learns he owns a bunch of real estate in this particular wealthy town, she asks what he does for a living. She finds out he's a lawyer, and announces she doesn't like attorneys. Now she's really interested and begins to negotiate the rent amount. She announces she is going through a divorce, is a Psychologist and teaches at a college with focus on meditation. Next, she asks me if I meditate and if she should rent the apartment. Incredible!

Meanwhile, I can feel N planning his moves. She says she'll take the apt. and he's already got a hard on. I feel his excitement! She gets ready to leave and he jumps up from the couch, pounces on her like a wild animal and kisses her on both checks. She blushes and leaves. I wanted to vomit; I couldn't believe what the cat had drug in. That night, he asks me if he was too aggressive or something like that. He also makes a comment about me staying over, as if he didn't want me.

The universe gave the N another gift. Seems like it all falls in place for them. I felt so humiliated and insignificant. She was younger, more educated (I only have a M. A.) and definately hungry for status. Not only that, she gets to live next door to him...how convenient. My instinct proved correct. That happened two years ago and I havent' been invited back to his house since. He always made an excuse as to why I couldn't go over there. My time with him became less and less and I found myself making most of the contact while he started putting me off. He recently moved someone in and maybe it's her, I don't know.

I'm in my late 50's and had been seeing him for about 8 years. I went about as low as anyone can go. This shows how cold blooded these guys can be. I was simply replaced by someone better, with more status and a higher image.

I'm still working on getting over it all. I have good days and bad but, I keep on going. It's especially hard when this stuff happens so late in life. I thought I had finally found someone and he turns out to be so incredibly evil. He's living his happy little life and I'm doing inner child work and posting on N blogs. No self pity but, some anger and confusion. It simply wasn't meant to be and part of the problem was that I stood up to him, called him on his abuse, and fought back. Big mistake with a N. The punishments are more severe when you're a fighter. I have enough stuff for a book and a movie. Maybe following through would be the most healing thing I can do for myself at this point. Anyway, that's it for now.