Future Narcissists and Seducers

yes, I meant that they have no real substance or character, so this is the way they have to get someone! Will be ordering WWLP this weekend - can't wait!

I remember sitting in his living room. He asked others to leave. There I was alone with him for the first time. He was doing the reptile stare, using a low intimidating voice. I heard him out. He made valid points. I remember closing the conversation by saying (also in a low voice) "I hear you." I didn't commit to anything, agree with him. That was all I said. And months later, I decided to move in the direction he "needed". Because I thought that is what I really wanted. Was it? Is it? I have some things to figure out. I realize now he had an agenda, more than one!. He studies the brain and cognitive behavioral techniques (for a living, how convenient). I remember feeling intimidated, yet I held my own. I remember the mood of the place when others returned. The energy was low - like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the place. He could really drain people. Still does. What concerns me is that I made a change in my life path based on my interactions with him and his organization. I had no idea what was happening at the time. Looking back, I can see he was "influencing me" with NLP. My last phone call was filled with what I now know are embedded commands. I was so confused when i hung up the phone, not that that was the first time. And now I'm left to wonder, what am I doing again? And - do I want this? What is my motivation...and is it mine? I'm trying really hard not to beat myself up over this. But I do need to get clear on what I am doing with my life and career. I just can't help but wonder, am I taking this new direction because I want to or because of his programming? (It's get's better - he had a few agents working on his behalf...so i was part of a multi-narc scheme) The whole situation is a nightmare for so many. I am fortunate to have physical distance. So many have been cheated out of money, homes, jobs. I can make more money. I just feel robbed of my time, energy, passion, creativity, and knowing what the hell I'm doing. What a jackass. Part of me wants to succeed just because I can - to show him I win in spite of it (or show me since he could care less). But I can't let pride get in my way. that would be foolish. I do enjoy what I'm doing...and I'm good at it. It's like losing virginity...you can't get it back. If I go back to the beginning - I did like what I was doing for my contribution. I'll have to ponder more. But - the NLP thing - truly scary. truly evil. Glad I know it exists so I can have it on my radar. I've watched it in action with sales. I am straining with the people who use it that way. What goes around comes around is all I can hope for. Thanks for the links.