Definitely a good idea, Perhaps you could write him a letter and put as much as you feelings into it as you can and burn that. Kind of like sending it back to whence it came.
I really like that idea. Thank you.
I know it sounds like a funny idea to have a funeral, but it is symbolic for my need to move on and is symbolic of me making my own closure.
Does this mean I am over him and the brainwashing? Oh no.
I wish. It's just a step in the right direction and a commitment to myself that it is a death, even if the relationship was not real. It WAS real to me.
It was real to me, too. All the decisions I made these past 2.5 years were based on the lies he told me and all the others. I'm still baffled how he can go about his business these days after screwing everyone and have zero remorse.
Premeditated using of so many for HIS purpose. Promise and potential had me hanging in for way too long. That and not truly considering that evil people look like the guy next door, say the right things, and appear to be goodness and light.
Even worse, I'm still baffled by how high on life I felt. It was unreal and felt great, yet I also felt an undercurrent of unease. Something I can't quite describe or put my finger on. I kept ignoring my intuition because I was high on brain chemicals. A part of me knew something was off. It simply was too good to be true.
We are so fortunate to have forums to go for reality checks. Just think what life was like for previous generations dealing with these narcs and paths.
Here's another idea, just like in a real funeral, do a sermon. In the sermon, write up all the fantastic things he did, like....oh, like all the swell D&D's that he was so good at, and the womanizing, that was always so special to you, and how about his wonderful lack of conscience, and all the fun masks he wore. I would also say in the sermon some of his favorite quotes and phrases, like...."it was all your fault", or "you made me do it", or, one of my favorites... " I didn't mean to kiss you, you started it". You know, cool things like that. You should also speak about how generous he was, like all the times you shared romantic dinners at your local Taco Bell, or the beautiful ring he gave you, directly out of the Cracker Jack box. And, just like at any funeral, your friends should get up and have a few words. Perhaps a friend could say how happy he made you because you always wanted a pool but couldn't afford the water, but you cried so damn much it filled the pool all by itself. Ain't that special?? What a great guy who did so many cool things.
- all old bed sheets (and buy a whole new bed set!)
- photographs of him
- sage (around your apartment to get out all the bad vibes)
- Buy yourself some nice flowers :)
Throwing out the old bed sheets and buying new ones was the first thing I did after I knew he wasn't coming back. Need to get a whole bedset, but that will have to wait.
We will most definitely be doing some burning on Saturday, including more smudging.
And rearranging the entire bedroom to get rid of the previous narc environment...can't move yet, might as well change it up
so the memories are less vivid.
Same here, I think it was about avoiding any memories. Finally i got new sheets, changed around the bedroom and actually took over His side of the bed. By doing so I performed a sort of eviction in my mind. I was taking back what was mine and actually slept like a baby ever since.
you could always ceremonially burn something he gave you...(but, they are usually so stingy on the presents, you may not have anything to burn. you may not have been so lucky to have gotten a can of folgers or socks or cereal like some other board members...
"you may not have been so lucky to have gotten a can of folgers or socks or cereal like some other board members..."
OMG that made me laugh so frickin' hard...thank you : )
And burn a copy of epic love story "The Notebook"? :-) It seems like that stupid book/movie has at times screwed with a number of peoples' heads on here, including mine! could be an homage to your board sistahs...
I'm laughing too. The whole folgers/socks/cereal conversation is hilarious!
Definitely burn something that is symbolic of your relationship with him. I think that would be very cathartic.
Burning
Nevergoback
NancyM
That's the hardest part for me too
Here's another idea, just
Burn
Kelly
SAD
happydaysahead
Sleeping on the couch
Nevergoback
you could always...
LOL
sarahb
Can you do me a favor
LOL
Hmmmmmmmmmm..........