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foolnomore's story

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#1 Jan 5 - 11PM
foolnomore
foolnomore's picture

foolnomore's story

How could I be so stupid?!

A drunken one night stand with an attractive man ended up being 2 years of his appearing and disappearing. I had no idea what I was dealing with and felt free to say what I wanted, how I wanted. Obnoxious and carefree. Little did I know that I was dealing with an entity I knew nothing about -- didn't even know this sort of "person" existed. Well, after several encounters (some sexual, but most often him barfing information about his glorious self & withdrawing sex), I finally listened to my gut....."something is so wrong here, but I just can't pinpoint it."

Well, Mr. Fabulous who "hoovered", hunted and eerily stalked me (actually found my online dating profile and showed up on one of my dates), took off his mask and showed his ass. Mr. Wonderful/Phantom came over and I didn't even recognize the man I was initially repelled/attracted to. He used to be handsome. When he came through the front door, his physical stance was different, he scowled, complained, growled, argued, belittled and bragged on and on about his conquests and spoke about women in the most demeaning manner. He also degraded me and rejected me physically. At which point I knee-jerked and cut him down in every which way possible and demanded that he get the hell out of my house. He called me 5 minutes after he left wherein I hung up on him. Obviously, his NS supply was dried up.

Have not heard anything since and don't intend to because I blocked his number from my phone. I finally stumbled upon this website in dire search for answers to why a seemingly charming man would appear, disappear, reappear and be so AWFUL in every way humanly possible. Dark and ugly never crossed my threshhold.

Thank you for all the valuable information. I will never let this hallowed horror into my life again. My concern at this point, is what type of reprocussion/revenge I may expect. Gosh, I feel like such a chump!

I commend all the strong women on this site. Any advice you can provide would be appreciated. Stay strong ladies!

Jan 6 - 9AM
spinning
spinning's picture

Way to choose yourself, FNM!

Outstanding that you are not letting more time go by with chaos, confusion, destruction and drama in your life. Welcome to the forum, though I am sorry you had to land here. You will find much information and support here, and you will also find the tools you need to prevent this type of thing from happening to you in the future, if you are willing to take a look. These disordered ones are master manipulators and keen predators who target their prey. You are no longer in that category because you have BLOCKED his ass, and are committed to No Contact. That is the key here from now on, FNM. You are not stupid, you are SMART for listening to your GUT. That is a good thing! I suspect this "person" will continue to try to contact you in a variety of ways. Anyone who shows up on a date obviously respects no boundaries. You must be strong in your ABSOLUTE NO CONTACT conviction. Keep records if he shows up here and there and call the cops if you have to. I am not saying this to scare you, just as a tool you can use should you have to take measures to keep this "person" away from you. I am glad you are on The Path Forward with us. You will be so glad, too. Most sincerely, (not) spinning. NO WAY. I REFUSE TO SPIN FOR ANY MAN, FOR ANY ONE EVER AGAIN

spinning

Jan 6 - 4AM
mandathepanda
mandathepanda's picture

Welcome to the forum,

Welcome to the forum, FoolNoMore... I am fairly new here too but I have to say joining this forum is the kindest thing Ive done for myself for a long time. You are NOT stupid, you have just wanted to see the good in someone..someone who is very good at recognising and using those qualities to their own advantage. Just stay strong, stay on this forum, and if you ever get the urge to contact him, speak to us here!! Everyone will tell you, the first rule is No Contact..it's the only way. All the best Manda xxx
Jan 6 - 9AM (Reply to #2)
foolnomore
foolnomore's picture

Thanks

Hi Manda. Thank you so much for your encouraging email. I thought I was losing my mind! I will stay firm and true to the NC rule. 2012 is going to be a drama-free year! Yay!
Jan 6 - 2PM (Reply to #3)
lettinggoNP44
lettinggoNP44's picture

It's insane...

How these master manipulators can drag you into a Twilight Zone so quickly and so deftly that you are left not knowing which way is up. I'm still fresh off my NP and struggling to remember how good it felt to not have him in my life. I went nearly 30 days NC when he came back hoovering and I haven't recovered since (that was about one month ago.) I have finally realized that his stalking/preying ways must be stopped and the next time he decides to come by unannounced, I will get a restraining order against him. Why is he the way he is? I have to let that question float in the air far far away from me. I will never know, I will never understand. I've got to put the focus on me. It's the only place I have control, it's the only way to restore myself to sanity.
Jan 7 - 9AM (Reply to #4)
foolnomore
foolnomore's picture

It is mindblowing

I'm fresh off a recent experience, right after Christmas and I am so angry at myself for having fallen into his trap. He was nice in order to break the ice/distance and then bam....out comes the monster. I think this creep hates me so much that he doesn't even bother putting on his false self which makes me feel even more shitty about myself. The look in his eyes was pure hatred. I guess what I don't understand is why even bother seeing me if you hate me so much? Maybe he needs his hate fix as much as his love fix? Don't know what makes a psycho behave and maybe that's a good thing! I am DONE. No more texts, calls. The day after seeing him, I blocked his number. I can't do this anymore. My self-esteem and self-confidence cannot take this type of abuse.