Finding Serenity in the Constant Battle of Wills

It's been about 13 months now that I've been NC, and the Ice Queen of Narcnia is STILL hoovering every so often.

He just won't take the hint.

It's insane. It's not like I make a habit of cutting people out of my life, but I have found that I had to remove myself from the contact of two people I knew online who had become increasingly unpleasant and had become widely unpopular. Both of them seem to be a bit...temperamental, shall we say, but in both cases after the initial shock they've come to terms with it and moved on with their lives, just like I'd expect any normal person to do.

But not the Ice Queen.

I just can't get my head around it. It's been over a year, for crying out loud. Any normal person would have either apologised, wanted to discuss what the problem was, or alternatively would have decided I was an unpleasant weirdo and decided they were better off without me.

But not the Ice Queen.

It really annoys me, because each time he hoovers (and I can't easily get away from it without making a BIG sacrifice, which I don't want to let him push me into) I feel that he is disrespecting me and my wishes to be left alone. It makes me want to lash out at him or publicly humiliate him in an attempt to make him do what I want. I don't even know what the intention behind his comments is. Is he trying to be nice? Friendly? Sarcastic? Putting me down? As is typical with him it could be interpreted in alsorts of ways.

The infuriating thing is that I then realise that I'm trying to control him, when HE is the original control freak who was trying to control ME and manipulate me all the time.

I guess what I want to know is how do others handle this? Is there any secret to finding some level of serenity in the face of this irritation?