Female sociopath destroyed me

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#1 Nov 17 - 11AM
Lostboy145
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Female sociopath destroyed me

I'm sorry this is long but I'm so hurt and wanted people to know that men too get hurt and taken advantage of.

I met this professional woman online in February 2013 and during the first month I didn’t ask her to be in a relationship with me. She liked me as well during that time but she didn’t pursue me either. We spent some weekends together but never actually became an exclusive couple. We eventually went our separate ways and dated others. In April 2013 I came back into her life and we started going out but she said had been seeing a guy for two months but she said she loved me and had always loved me.
Eventually, she asked this other guy for her house key back and told him she wanted to see other people. This was right after her and I went to Philly together for 5 days. However, according to her she did not tell him specifically that he reason for the breakup was me. She had always said that she had never left one man for another man and she didn’t want to start now. So she never actually stopped seeing this other guy and she continued to see me as well.

Over the next three months she and I traveled extensively taking trips out of state, hotels, bed and breakfasts, Eastern Shore, DC on the 4th of July, Atlantic City...etc and having the BEST times every time She was mostly honest with me about still seeing him and which I hated knowing but I accepted. I always when she was going to see him again which is why she told me but I guess I’d rather know than just pretend it wasn’t happening. But I still hated it.

Anyway, during these months, she spent more time with me than him for but it still bothered me that she wouldn’t commit to me. She always lied to him when she was with me…..and as hurtful as it is to admit…she would always post our trips on her Facebook page but I was never tagged or even shown in photos. Her photos consisted of things such as the hotel we were at, sunsets, the restaurants we went to…shows we attended...a landmark…the food/wineglasses at our table...…etc…but never once was I shown on FB with her. I have many photos of us together on these vacations but out of respect I didn’t post them on FB either. I let her control the situation. She said she was just trying to spare his feelings and I accepted it because I was hoping that I would eventually be with her forever. That was probably one of the most hurtful aspects of this relationship. Knowing I was being hidden away like she was cheating on a husband or boyfriend. She said she was very confused and often questioned why I didn’t grab her back in February when I had the chance.
When she went out with him though she would post it on Facebook and also tag him which made me feel awful to know she would do that with him but not me. She claimed it was because people assumed they were still dating. She would also disappear for days and not respond to texts or VMs I left...and then once in a while I'd get a text that says "I love you more than you know". That's it. Then I'd be ignored again while she's out having a good time and rubbing my nose in it on Facebook. This was extremely hurtful as well. She always managed to call me days later like everything was okay and always had some kind of excuse.
This woman initially bombarded me with words that made me feel awesome. She said she loved this other guy too but her love for me was different - with me she had such passion. She was IN love with me versus just loving the other guy. She built me up. She said if the other guy left or dated someone else it wouldn’t be a huge deal…but if I were to leave or date someone else it would destroy her. She made me feel so special…and she was so much fun…and I found her to the most beautiful woman in the world. Not a woman alive could make me feel as special as she did. There’s no question I would be there for her forever. Looking back though, I feel I was more addicted to this woman than in love with her.
Anyway, there was always so much drama which went on for months…it took its toll on me…I lost over 40 lbs. That’s a lot of weight for a guy to lose going from 211 down to a low of 169. I don’t know why I couldn’t just leave. It’s like she literally had a spell on me.

So…about a month ago I take her out to eat…we have drinks…we're having a great time. We go back to her place and it’s around midnight…still having a great time. We’re having some wine, eating some food…in bed…barely dressed…it’s literally the best time of my life to be honest…and then there’s a bang on the door and it’s him. He yelled inside that he knew I was there (my car was out front). I knew she wouldn’t just allow him to stand outside and bang on the door so I opened the door…and to make a long story short…she asked ME to leave and he stayed!! I was completely disgusted; totally devastated. He basically just took my spot in bed. I was totally numb and in a fog. This girl said I meant so much to her. She unfriended me on all social media sites then never called me again. I tried contacting her and was successful sometimes. She says that she unfriended me on all social media sites because she doesn't want to hurt me anymore by me seeing pictures of him and her together. There’s no remorse though at all. She said she’s going to try to worek it out with this guy. My entire life has been affected. I go to sleep thinking of her. I dream about her. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking of her. Why do I feel like this after being treated like this?

I know I managed to upset her a lot when we were together because I was always questioning her when things didn’t make sense. Seemed I took her out of her comfort zone. Seems I should consider myself lucky that she went with this guy and left me alone…but does anyone think she will leave me alone forever? It’s almost like I WANT her to come back. How sick am I??
I kind of figured maybe I was the transitional victim of a sociopath. Sociopaths use some people to satisfy their temporary needs in between long term victims. She always said she loved me but she never actually demonstrated her love to me. Aside from a few dinners at the beginning, she never spent a dime on me. She also never showed remorse or guilt about anything that happened between us. You think she just tried to destroy me emotionally for fun?
Is this just a confused woman who found herself in a love triangle and maybe wanted her cake and eat it too…or is she truly a sociopath? She never talked bad about her exes…she was never EVER rude and she never raised her voice..not even once. Very soft spoken…very good looking and very charming. Lots of people (Male and female) simply adore her. She’s very high on herself as well which I know is a narcissistic trait.
I used to be a healthy guy, but now I’m in therapy...on sleep medication, anxiety medication and something else prescribed to calm my nerves. I’m still a freaking mess.
The last time I spoke with her she said she loved me and would always love me. BTW…she’s just got engaged to this guy and they’re getting married next month. It’s soooo crazy…..

Nov 17 - 3PM
lessonlearned
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"transitional victim of a sociopath"

Nov 17 - 4PM (Reply to #8)
Done sourcing
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Imaginary letter from the

Nov 17 - 6PM (Reply to #9)
Lostboy145
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Funny letter...thanks for the

Nov 17 - 6PM (Reply to #10)
Done sourcing
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Lol,it was a letter from all

Nov 17 - 1PM
Done sourcing
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There are a lot of women who

Nov 17 - 7PM (Reply to #6)
Lostboy145
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Yes...less than a year...but

Nov 17 - 1PM
Hunter
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WELCOME TO NARCVILLE.. Seems

Nov 17 - 7PM (Reply to #4)
Lostboy145
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I think I did dodge a

Nov 17 - 12PM
Heartbroken78
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Do you know the first thing

Nov 17 - 7PM (Reply to #2)
Lostboy145
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Thank you for the compliment