Feelings of relief come in waves....

Yes that is the word I needed to hear. O2bfree, I feel your pain, you know deep down that in a way its better to not have gone, but on the flip side, when you are promised or told all the things that they want to share with you and then it never happens...it is soooo gut wrenching and hurtful. Indifference is the perfect word, and one we have to all try to get to, because when we really don't give a shit anymore, we will truly b free. Up until that moment...it will be riding the wave of emotions. I wish you a great day tomorrow, one with more clarity and less pain. Hugs from Timtam

Do you know how many nights my N and I spent together in 7 years? 1--the other times he had a weekend w/o wife or family I was being punished for something. He used those nights to lord it over me that he was free, but I had messed up and made him mad, so I didn't get that quintessential prize of him all night. Why did I never see that he should have felt those nights were too precious FOR HIM to be used as a weapon AGAINST ME? That supreme arrogance and the idea he could "bestow" himself is what is so freaking infuriating! God, just to have some girl LAUGH at his advances and me be a fly on the wall. I'd give so much to see it. Not that that would phase him. It would take such humiliation in triplicate on a daily basis for years. Don't waste a second feeling bad that he didn't take you to the concert. Trust me, he made the woman he did take miserable the whole evening. That's what they do.

You sound so much stronger even just over the past couple of days, that is fantastic! :)

Hey, know how you are feeling. Yesterday would have been our 2 year anniversary. Taking someone else to the concert- uggh. So hard I know to think of them enjoying themselves at an event he had promised you. Thankfully, it seems now that I have somehow survived all the plans we made that never materialized. Each one though was (as you related) a struggle. As I had to think of "where I was supposed to have been" with xN on this weekend, or that holiday. Keep taking care of O2befree!! xx, Rose

I have been NC 3 months and today, for the first time, I woke up completely refreshed and stress free....like I was on vacation! I think it takes time but you will get there.... Hugs xoxo