Feeling down today....how could I have allowed this??

The first few weeks of NC are the WORST! I remember feeling like I had gotten off one roller coaster and straight onto another. Except, the second one I was riding alone. I wasn't sure I had traded up (at first, anyway.) Maybe that's why so many of us break NC. It seriously sucks at first. We haven't met because I haven't been posting for awhile, but I've been checking in here periodically and have been reading your posts with interest. I admire the way you've taken responsibility for the decisions you made. That is so hard to do, and that you can do it is a testament to your strength. However, please don't confuse mistakes you made with you deserving any of this. You DID NOT deserve this woman's treatment of you. Her behavior is totally unacceptable and (sadly) so familiar to us here. I went through a point early on in NC where I was just starting to see through the fog and realizing how much negative impact I had allowed him to have on my life. It sounds like you're in about the same place. It DOES pass. In the meantime, be gentle with yourself.

KG, We easily can be hard on ourselves. She attracted you and did everything she could to drawn you into her world. So many fall for the Narc, they are captivating and make us feel loved. If they weren't so good at it , it wouldn't be this hard to get away. ;/ We all make mistakes. You can be forgiven. All hope is not lost in your situation. You have so much still in tact in your home, be thankful that you can openly communicate with your husband about what happened. You are reaching a milestone with NC. And you will have to prepare for seeing/ running into her. Even though you are upset right now, these feelings are there for a reason, to remind us in the future that our choices effect more than just our selves. You will find clarity and truth and strength in your self, maybe more than you ever had before the N'ette. I wish they all could know how they affect our lives, impact us, but they just don't care. hang in there!

It is normal to cycle, but remember, the narcissist targets us unaware...had you known then what you know now you would not have gotten lured because you would have been aware of the signs. It is unfortunate that sometimes we have to step in landmines to learn lessons; however I am optimistic that this experience is an opportunity to deal not only with issues narcette but many issues as this experience brings a lot of issues to the surface by way of triggers. What happened yesterday is in the past - today is a gift that is why it's called the present and from this point forward, you are now in control to make changes not only with issues narc, but all around and as long as you stick to healing, growing and learning, I believe you will at some point find your center and feel good again, which in turn will have a domino effect on all your surroundings - you will see things in a new light and appreciate a whole lot more. At this juncture, I can say I wish that I didn't go through the experience I did - it was painful, but despite that I did gain alot. Life is cyclical...keep moving forward through the waves, you will reach the shore soon. Hugs!

If you learned from it...it wasn't a mistake. {{hugs}} I know...I think this too. But, what I will say is that in some cosmic strange way....I'm glad this happened. I can say that now. :P But, had it not been this guy--it would have been another. He was the catalyst for bringing about change in me and in my life...once and for all, dealing with my childhood trauma. Without this experience, I'd still be unhealed. God did not put this man in my path. But, God permitted it to happen. He let me use my free will. I did, and much pain came from it. I will say however...what also came out of this is a new me. The hurting child from long ago is finally healing. I saw in this man, all I had growing up. I literally had my past in front of my face. Talk about facing one's demons! This narcette was a symptom. She wasn't the cause. You are healing from this, not despite it. Remember this. Now staying away from her is the challenge. Now that you see who you are now, and who you were then? You will never make this same choices. No mistakes. Just choices based on where we were at the time. Now, you are in a different place...and praise be to God. You are a new person!

Honey, every day you will come to a set of new thoughts and revelations that may crush you. It comes with the territory of NC and not being brainwashed anymore.... Have patience with it and yourself...one day this fod will be completely lifted and you will be absolutely better.... Lots of love Dx

you have called her out YOU DUMPED HER!!!!, i know you are having a low day but this is the worse thing you can do to a narc treating them like they dont exsist threatens the very core of them. I understand you beign disappointed with your self b/c i am with my self all the crap i put up with in the name of friendship, if you can call it that it was more hateship, but you will overcome this day and this feeling and each time it will become less it realy will. always remember YOU DUMPED HER, HER AND HER FUCKING SOUP!!!xxxx

Join the Club, they did this to all of us! The key is not to go back! Always remember the damage she has caused! We have all been educated on a subject we would have perferd, ignorant! Hunter