facebook is the worst thing in the world now I believe. I just looked at his friends and shouldn't have

I know exactly how you feel. I´ve defriended my ex too, but this weekend I´ve been obsessed with checking his friends´ updates to see if they would write anything about him. On Friday he defended his thesis, and I had this need to know how it went. But the only thing that it got me was an ache in my stomach and a lot of sadness. And now I miss him even more. At least I´ve managed to stay away from his blog or his new girlfriend´s Facebook-page. She has this open wall, and it´s an awful temptation. But like a friend of mine told me: "why do you keep doing this when you know that it only hurts you? It´s like cutting yourself deliberately until you bleed. It´s stupid." She´s right, and it´s been helping me a lot. Whenever I think of checking up on him I imagine myself cutting myself with a big knife. And suddenly it seems like something I really shouldn´t do.

I am sorry you're struggling today, happy. I think this is just an up and down thing. Some days, we will be fine. Others, not so much. SOMEDAY. We won't ever look again. You know, this might sound weird. But, like any bad habit, that we try to break, let's take smoking. I have never smoked, but for those who have and have successfully quit, many times, they wean themselves down. They say...ok...I'm going to make it to noon without a cigarette today. Then, once they do that...they shoot for 3pm. And so on. Maybe set something like that up for yourself. Or say...I'm only going to look at his FB one time today, and it will be at 4pm. Then, look...and be done with it. Eventually, you will stop looking. I really believe we have to come up with some ways that we would use if we were tackling another habit/addiction. (not that you are addicted, but sometimes, looking at what our N's are doing, becomes addictive) I looked at my N's FB today. Only once. lol Why did I? Because I know he went away for the weekend, and I'm curious as to what he posts. Why? Because he is SO VERY different on FB than he was to me, and to some of the other women he tossed aside. It's somewhat comical to me that he is one way with his ''real'' friends, and with this ex's...he's another way. It's just interesting. I only looked once though. I am slowly gaining control over it, though. I know you will, too. Just maybe try some of those mental tips...and see if they work. You can do this!! {{hugs}}

Facebook is how I caught my ex numerous times hitting on girls and lying about it. Facebook is the main reason we broke up. I knew what he was really up to, and wouldn't stand for it. It lead to me being so obsessed with him. Finding out who he was talking to. What he was doing. and it killed me. Every day. All I gained from snooping was hurt, and my mind assuming the worst. I told him to block me. haha. Pathetic, but I knew I would just un block him and snoop. And chances are, he would keep me blocked. and he has. I then de activated my account. You should try this. It will keep everything saved. At least for 2 weeks. I did it for a month, after the first 2 weeks I just re-activated/de-activated it. I focused on myself. Not everybody else, and not him. I found other things to fill up my time until I knew I could get back on without it being in an un healthy manner.

Get off FB for awhile its too much of a temptation. Trust me I went thru the whole fb thing. Luckily the narc deactivated himself.

Sorry you had to see this, and it's hard not to look at these sites, but it is best NOT to. When Narc first put his page up the controls were not set up for privacy at all, and I was able to see photos and things that proved he was not as unhappy with his wife as he claimed to be, photos of vacation, etc. I cried for hours. Luckily, the page is now locked down. I try not to snoop around out there too much. I already feel bad enough without seeing stuff documented.

Block him on FB! Then you won't be able to see anything to do with him. Even if you have mutual friends, you won't see him posting, he won't even show up on their friends list. Come on, I know it's hard, but really this is the best thing you can do. Click that button, and remove him from your life completely. Do it right now while you're angry.