Face of Evil: Love of one self (part of my story with a Narcissist)

In america there is this show on the ID Channel called Face of Evil and the interviewer and the host of the show Candice Delong (former FBI agent) is profiling a lady name Susan Grund. She was convicted of killing her husband 18 years ago. The interviewer has pointed out that Susan is a Narcissist. As I watched the interview OMG she clearly has NPD. During the interview the interviewer points out her narcissistic traits during the interview. After all of these years in prison she is still nuts!!!!!

I am thanking my higher being for getting me out of such a Toxic, potentially dangerous relationship. What I saw in his eyes during our last interaction I will never forget, I know our relationship would have turned physical, the anger he showed me because I discovered his true self was unforgettable. He was so angry with me because I was really telling him how I felt about him and how weird he is and how I should have left him a year earlier when I broke up with him and how he need help. OMG this pissed him off. He yelled at me "You better shut your mouth." I had never seen him so mad.

He was so mad that he would not let me finish my phone call with the airlines because in his words "He wanted me out of his house now" We struggled with the phone and he pushed me and I fell. He snapped out of it and said he was sorry, and I slipped and fell. When he noticed that his apologies were not working, he quickly got angry again and stared berating me again. I finish packing and just kept quite because he was clearly losing his damn mind.

During the long 2 hour ride to the airport,with him listening to me tell my aunt what he had done, he calmed himself down, of course to save face with my family. (Didnt work by the way) He apologize for one thing only, for me falling during the struggle where in his mind I slipped. I sat there nodded my head and said nothing, I wanted to get the hell away from this idiot. He did not want to be labeled a woman beater.

Forget the abusive way he was treating me, forget being totally nasty and dismissive to me while I was 8000 miles away in another country, forget all the silent treatments, forget all the senseless arguments, forget the mental manipulation and lies he told, his apology was for making me slip and fall which by the way was not his fault in him peanut brain.

Even after all of the foolishness he took me through that day, I know this nutcase had settled down during the drive to the airport and if it wasn't for the fact that I called him out, told my family and appeared to be so distant he would have tried to draw me back in. He had calmed himself down and was changing back to the man that he displays in front of the world. OMG I am so happy that I started NC as soon as I sat down at the airport. I feel he tried to reach out but was met with a changed phone number, not good to the ego, or unanswered emails because I blocked all of his emails. I believe he knew he went to damn far this time and it was time to suck up new source.

When I think about what I went through for 2 years I really consider myself a survivor not a victim because it could have been much worse. I am truly seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and slowly seeing that his final act had to happen to show me his face of evil!!!!