Ex N Husband "wants to be friends" ???

Hello everyone. WHY would my ex N want to "be friends" AFTER our divorce is final? Shouldn't we have been "friends" while married? We are legally at the end of a 15 year marriage (I just turned 50, he is 65), yet my ex N porn-habit (including adult chat rooms) and choking controlling demands killed our relationship years ago.

In 2011 he "friended" on Facebook a woman he dated in high school (she lives in another state, about 4-5 hours away) and today are a "couple." She is his age (physically).

He filed for divorce in 2010 - two days before Christmas yet refused to move out of the house until May the following year, a few months after reconnecting with his long-lost friend.

This person has lied - horribly lied - to his adult children (yes, I do have the e-mails - it was self preservation) about me, my behaviors, my motives, etc.

When he finally physically left he thought nothing of leaving me with a huge mess, including a neglected house. He never looked back. There is more of course but I think you can get a pretty good overview as we're all experienced in this arena.

Now, I must take full responsibility in one area: I ignored his past behaviors (before me) or allowed myself to believe his reasoning, including:

Refusal to acknowledge a child born over 30 years ago (I literally made him respond to her final e-mail);

Another son out there "somewhere"

Multiple affairs;

Plus all your standard behaviors of someone with this disorder.

I take responsibility for choosing not to see or accept what was obvious. However, I did not "make" him resort to porn ... again and again.

That said, the guy has declared he "found God" and is spending the rest of his live being a "better man" and helping others. In only one year he's done a "complete turnaround" in his life (per him).

Very high-profile, public job that gives him the edge of a caring and engaged "persona" within the community.

Devalued and certainly discarded - got a new source who seems to be totally willing to be his other - yet when our divorce is over he wants to try and be friends. Why in Lord's name?

Would love to hear from you on this one.

Thank you!