(ex) N friend won't leave me alone! Help!

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#1 Sep 28 - 10AM
Anonymous (not verified)
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(ex) N friend won't leave me alone! Help!

It has been 2 months that I got rid of a male N friend. His behavior after my ex broke up with me was SO inappropriate that I realized HE too was an N and so I severed all ties.

He is pretty much stalking me via cell and internet.

I have blocked him from my email account, I have blocked him from my facebook. However I don't know how to block him from my cell phone. I get text messages nearly daily. Most of them are old messages I wrote to him about 7 months ago when he and I were close. He forwards them to me and tells me that I obviously don't have very deep feelings if i can go from such text messages to ignoring him. He tries to use my own words against me... to show that I flipped my feelings for him. He acts as if it is out of the blue, despite that i have told him how much his meanness and coldness hurt me when i was already in so much pain over my ex. I recall one day almost begging him to stop acting like such a jerk and be the man that I once knew (that was the aha moment that i realized he was an N... the mask was off)! He was enjoying his power of watching me in pain and coming to him for support.

He keeps telling me things like, "I know you miss me! I know you miss my love and support" "You will never find a more committed and loving friend as me"

He has even done the 'accidental text' tactic. Where he sends a racy/sexual text with another girls name in it and 'accidentally' sends it to me.

I have not responded--- ever. Not even once since I have gone no contact. However, now that I am FINALLY feeling better regardign my ex, he is messing with my head by harrasing me.

He even forwarded me a pic that he and i took together last year. Yes...it was a bad judgement call on my part. I didn't know at the time he was an N... so I trusted him. I thought he was a normal mature guy. In the pic I was being really silly, playful and flitatious. Posing provacatively with him. He informed me today that he is happy he has this at his disposal. I am afraid... what does that mean?!?!?Is he threatening me? I am a doctor and i am afraid he may send it to my practice (I don't own the practice... i am one of several doctors here)... suppose he sends it to my ex N just to start some drama in my life.

I hate this guy so much!!!

This is someone I used to trust so much. I used to cry to him about my N and he consoled me. Then when my N left me he immediately became nasty snake. Making fun of my pain;

He just sent me 2 text messages this morning and I am distracted here at work, bc I am afraid of how far he will take things since he doesn't like me ignoring him.

He calls me all the time (i never answer)... leaves messages preaching that I am being manipulative and attention seeking by ignoring him. Told me I am getting off on the power and behaving very badly. He told me he will forgive me for all of my bad behavior... however in the next text message will call me a selfish "always think you are right!" person.

I simply blew all of his efforts off until this morning when he made the subtle 'threat' regarding the picture. That crossed the line with me. That was a private silly moment with he and I (as friends). Now I am starting to wonder what he has in mind.

I want to shoot him a mean email telling him that he had better not do anything that would compromise me or there will be consequences... however to do that would be 'supply' to him.

If only I knew from the beginning that he was NPD... I wouldn't be in this situation! (angry smiley). I want to kick his frigging A**!!! I wouldn't give a darn, if it weren't for the picture!

I don't know how to make him stop! I'm not sure what to do.

Sep 29 - 8PM
Carolyn
Carolyn's picture

Tell the managing partner of

Tell the managing partner of the practice that you are being stalked. Talk to the police, save every e-mail, go to a lawyer who specializes in stalking, and move back from the problem. Forward his e-mails to the lawyer's office, and hire a private investigator. While all of this sounds expensive and threatening it is building a firewall. You are a physician and he is emotionally blackmailing you. Not all stalkers are just crazy some do it for money. you will probably receive a pitch for cash soon. I am a retired private investigator and I specialized in stalkers. the first place to go is the private investigator he will teach you how to gather evidence and you forward all contacts to his computer. he can probably refer you to an investigator in the district attorney's office who should also get all e-mails forwarded. Do not be ashamed of the photo that is his ace in the hole. I worked a case where an ex-took naked photos of his fiancee and when she broke it off he sent them all over her office in manilla envelopes. he went to jail and not one person opened the envelopes when the director of human resources notified staff that the envelopes contained material meant to damage her. You will be surprised at how many people will be very protective of you in your office. the investigator should replace you as the victim and answer some of his e-mails and open an e-mail dialogue the investigator will know how to bait him into admitting extortion etc. You will be ok Doctor this man has done this to many women but I think his day is done.
Sep 28 - 7PM
dolce (not verified)
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jessika

I've been thinking about this for awhile now. My first instinct was to tell you to try to help him lose his phone (if thats how he forwarded the picture to you), THEN no contact. Ever. But I knew telling you that would be wrong. Just an idea. (crooked smile) I just feel for you being in that situation where it could affect your career. ~Free to Be~
Sep 28 - 7PM
grossot
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jessika

ýea, you have to call the phone carrier and give them his number to block him. If you tell him its harrassment theý won't charge u if there is a fee. This is backwards talk! NC!!!! Taking a flirtatious pic is not 'bad behavior'. Try not to beat yourslf up about being his friend. If you had known- of course you wouldn't have stayed. They are excellent at making us think we did something wrong. You did not. He's just trying to make himself feel better. Whatever you do do not contact him! ~Give a Narc an inch and they become the ruler~ nolongercontrolled
Sep 28 - 1PM
Barbara (not verified)
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block

call the cell phone company - ask them how to block. same with phone company tell him if he persists you will get a restraining order ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Pathologicals only discard the best, most precious of gems of people... not the worst. They despise the strong, principled, decent & honest. Their discarding of you is then their highest commendation of your worth!" - A.V.