The end of my Story.....

11 posts / 0 new

#1 Jan 10 - 5AM

aceonelady

The end of my Story.....

Last friday i broke NC....ExN started NC and after sometime i really did stop trying call him....for 6 months....friday i was feeling obssessive,sad,angry.... called him he answered....he sounded like a totally another person....was calm,but really really cold,sarcastic and didn't let me talk,and he said terrible hurtful things,like if i was feeling like road kill(i told him i felt abused used run over and left for dead )he said if he ever see me i will be road kill....and i should move on because he had another women that he had stop having a relationship and they just went in peace...(well before he told me he broke up with a girl because she had a breakdown while/because of him...and another one even went to his work to confront him about something )and the mother of his children was crazy he said and bipolar....so he called me too lately...so i told him his pick of women wasn't so good...he hung up the phone and now he Really took disconnect his phone number....the reording says his phone number is not valid anymore.....so he wins....or do i win some peace of mind finnally?i live in Europe he in the USA ,so i really is the end....we can never win from those types...i am devasted and i cannot understand why,i should be happy,he is protecting me from myself...i am sure he is laughing now,imagening me over crying and having a fit....and the winnar is.....mr hayes....

#2 Jan 12 - 8PM

Scotchy71

Ace

Narc's don't make sense..period. You can't make sense of a disordered person and these narcs are just that. He did you a favour but as hard as this is to believe, remember, it's not personal..his behaviour didn't start with you and it won't stop with you....in order to change, they need to acknowledge their behaviour and they can't admit how evil they are, so the behaviour continues to destroy lives. You're free now to start afresh and build your life and when the fog clears with nc, clarity will emerge and you will see a life without him..there is no life with him, he will simply drain all your goodness and then you will be empty and so will he. He needs to fill his own void but will never realise it, this is why they feed from us, they think we are the perfect love they "believe" exists and when we do or say the wrong thing (only in their mind), it's over and the abuse begins. It's a cycle and they can't change, but we can change ourselves and our way of thinking to heal. You see, we ultimately win in the end because we heal - they can't. x

#3 Jan 10 - 9AM

Hunter

Aceo

Hi , his number doesnt work because he probably didn't pay the bill. Do you want to find him? This man is insane. Remember liars, users and losers. What he did to you is no different than my treatment. I know how you feel. It makes me sick that these disordered people walk the planet. Be glad he's gone. I'm sorry you were a game piece, like I was. Keeping going forward, pass go and leave narc behind. Be strong Idealk

#4 Jan 10 - 10AM (Reply to #8)

aceonelady

idealk9NYC Aceo

Thanks,you are a strong one...i hope i will get there too...intellectually i get it all and i am angry at me that i do feel weak sometimes after 2 years....is nothing like me,really...but he messed up with my head(thats what they do)Big time...but like the old disco song from Gloria Gaynor I WILL SURVIVE...we all will...they vegetate.....and we live....HUGHS

Aceonelady

#5 Jan 10 - 1PM (Reply to #9)

Hunter

Aceo

I'm not strong just a realist. All of us here are very intelligent women/ men. We educated ourselves because somthing didn't make sense. We came this far, it's up to us to keep going. 1. For ourselves, 2. For others who need us. I dont want to flunk this test. What would it say about me if I learned what he is and still go back for another punch in the face? The other day I asked " what is love" everyday that passes I lean the answer to my question, the answer is not simple. I do know my n did / does not know how to love. He leaves a wake of hate. Enjoy the good in life and leave the hate in your wake. Be strong idealk

#6 Jan 10 - 9AM

helldweller

aceone

It's so hard when you contact them after awhile, expecting them to be at least civil, to maybe admit some wrong, to maybe say they are sorry it didn't work out . . . only to have them be meaner and nastier than ever before. I actually invited mine over after finding out about five other women he'd been seeing (one for twenty years)to try to at least get to the point where our kids could play together again or at least so he'd stop crossing the street to avoid walking past us. Nope. He managed to get in some of the most biting, evil comments of all time in the thirty minutes he was over, and he ended up sneering at me and storming out because I was trying to get him to admit what he did was wrong. Honey, I know I know I know it is the most incredible pain that this man who seemed to worship you now seems to be spitting on you: it's unfathomable how it happens. I still see mine in my mind the way he was when I met him: smiling that smile at me, his eyes twinkling, saying "Good morning, Bella." I did absolutely nothing wrong. YOu did absolutely nothing wrong. You have got to remember that they are nasty because they cannot love, cannot feel anything but rage and insecurity. To try and get closure or come to terms or be amicable with them is impossible. Simply impossible. I hate them. ((hugs))

#7 Jan 10 - 7AM

Happy1

aceonelady

I'm sorry you are having a bad week. You could look at what you did as closure. You told him what you wanted to and now you can take that confirmation and move on. I know it's very hard. I'm having a very hard time too but we have no choice. We have to survive and fight for ourselves now. Not them! I hope it's a good day for you! Happy1

#8 Jan 10 - 8AM (Reply to #2)

aceonelady

happy1...thanks

For your reply,means a lot to me...And yes i knew what he is for sometime now,but i always have been a very positive person and very non judgemental,he often called me Mother theresa and hippie....but i am also strong and realistic,i really cannot believe that i bought all his act and lies...i feel pretty stupid,in the beginnig he was strong but humble,he is now showing how weak and indifferent to others,even his children...since the mask felt he got worst by the day,The harder they come,the harder they fall....HUGHS

Aceonelady

#9 Jan 10 - 9AM (Reply to #3)

onwithmylife

aceonelady

It is true when you try to reconnect they get nastier, at least in my case, was because he knew I was "on" to him, so to speak. He never looked inward at himself for all the destruction he has done to his children, his relationships with all the women in his life, just lashes out with rage and anger. I found out he has two cancers so decided to mail a card to him, for my sake, and in return got nothing but negativity about why i should not move to his state, {I am not going for him, but because I love the pace of life and friendly people,} I feel comfortable there. So anyway he is totally negative in all aspects, not even a thank you for thinking of me, inhuman. So I sent to him my very last correspondence, a postcard, and said remember when you leave this earth, you devalued and discarded a woman who truly loved you, when you could not love yourself. End of 15 years plus 2 years of recovery.They WILL NEVER CHANGE, I have the proof, and probably not even oh his deathbed.now i know what the word tragedy is all about.................

#10 Jan 10 - 10AM (Reply to #4)

aceonelady

For all you beautiful and caring ladies...from Aceonelady

Thanks,for all your love,i am very sad today but you words made me feel warm again in the middle of this mess and avery dark and cold Dutch winter....my soul is getting warmer from all your reactions to my post,i often think of Helldweller,so spontaneous,a woman with love and a very warm,strong personality...onwithmylife,youare also someone i think about,your ex N could be the same as mine ex....All of you,strong women is unbeliavable those men really are deranged,i hugh you all ,a BIG BIG hug....i wish i could do something to ease the pain for all of you,i really do mean it from the bottom of my heart....

Aceonelady

#11 Jan 10 - 11AM (Reply to #5)

onwithmylife

Aceonelady

You are a wonderful woman, and these men will NEVER know what they lost, what a great bunch of women on this board, I wish we could all meet in person!!!

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