I saw him by accident for the first time in 3 years and all he could say 2 times was he saw my posting on a website, they only believe what they want to, that makes them right and us wrong, they have sick minds, I got no apology and when i said to him you dumped me, he replied back quickly, no you dumped me, they do not get it and all the things I did for this ungrateful creep, let him rot as an old geezer, which is is, living a life as a hermit in a tiny town, boy did he look old in the 3 years I saw him, good riddance to HIM!!!
I can see the convo being turned around on me. Before the dd he wanted to go for dinner when he called he startied making excuses but didn't out right say we couldn't meet. I said look if we are not meeting tell me now. I think this started my rage boiling point. He said no no ill call u in a few. He called two hours later and we did go out to hat but he was grumpy the whole time. At my garage on my way out of the car is where he dumped. I wish he woulda had the balls earlier and I think that's where my rage started. Hence the crazy texts in oct then the apology in letter form for my actions which was really another fuck you and then this week my final humiliation where I personally went in apologizing for my actions and then demanding one I. Return. I know he won't give it to me and I know he's shocked at all the info I've had to unmask him and I know he's calling me crazy stalker with all my texts.........and I know I'll get through this. I know I have to go nc and stick with it. I did that from jan- oct no prob. This time it's hard cuz I feel discarded and rejected. The thought of a Hoover excites me to get power back but the fact that I'm not even worthy of a hoover....Mann. I know I'm dealing with crazy I can't even get satisfaction that my unmasking shocked or hurt him! Plus I feel like a narc cuz I now feel like I'm being mean. Make it stop!
I could have told you that....
Again... It's all about what you say and how you say it.. I can tell how to test this, meaning a response or silence but nope ..cant do it..
Look why are you punishing yourself??
NC
Hunter
Anari,
I came across this quote by Ben Franklin today and thought it was applicable:
"Lost time is never found"
Don't waste your precious time, energy, thoughts on him because you will never get it back.
Does he owe you an apology, yes. Will you get one, maybe, maybe not. Even if he did apologize it would be a lie because given the chance he would do it all to you again, and again, and again.
Please don't feed the vampire, don't give him supply. Focus on you. Be STRONG!
Hugs,
Nan
Any apology he might give you will be hollow words and they will feel hollow afterward to you. If they feel sincere, that will only confuse you more to put doubt into your perspective of him now - I speak from experience here having heard such an 'apology'.
He DOES owe you an apology, but you KNOWING that he does, is worth WAY more than anything he could possibly give you.
Trust that and stay NC!
We all feel like we're owed an apology, but we all have something in common>>> We'll NEVER get one.
Please don't text him at all, you will get nothing out of it but pain and hurt. I've been told that so many times and I would continue to text & say this & say that... but it has one ending result>>> NOTHING, I get nothing out of it.
STAY STRONG! Talk to us, we're here for you... it may even help if you post about what exactly you want to say to him and we can be "him" and give you the exact reply he'd give you.
XOXOXOX
Talking to them is the most pointless thing we can do... we'll never get through and they'll never understand.
You really have to just think of it as a child that plays pretend & never stops.
I'm sorry, and it sucks, it really does. We all know that on here, but somewhere, somehow we have to focus on us & let it go. It's hard, especially the first 7 days, but there after it gets easier.
I've gone back 2x for sure (full blown relationship) the second time I KNEW of and about him... I don't regret going back, I regret losing precious time, but it made it THAT much easier, he never changed, he will never change & there isn't a damn thing I can do about it.
Keep your head held high! You're a good person, let yourself accept your own apology (of never being able to get one) and start rebuilding.
Please don't do it...you will regret it. You will regret it as you sit and wait for him to respond. You will regret it when he doesn't respond...and when he doesn't offer an apology. You will regret it b/c you are giving him more POWER, telling him exactly what you want, and therefore, exactly how he can hurt you (by not responding and not apologizing). And you will regret it b/c you are giving him exactly what he wants (attention and the knowledge that you still care). And so once again, he will get exactly what he wants and you will get nothing. I feel for you...I've done it so many times myself...given in to that urge and humiliated myself in the process. BE STRONG...you can resist the temptation..I know it.
You feel like texting that he owes you an apology because he does! But you're not texting because your words will be lost on him. They will confirm that you are thinking of him and he'll just blow it off as if you're the crazy one.
You feel like texting because that's the familiar pattern. That's the old script. That's what you have been conditioned to do in this push/pull dance. We have all been there.
You feel these things and that means you're normal! You feel them and sit with the feelings instead of acting on them and that means you're STRONG and committed to GETTING OFF THE CRAZY TRAIN and onto The Path Forward to the life and relationship you deserve and want. The more you press through these difficult feelings, the more you will gain your sense of self-worth and value!
Anari, you have been doing great. I know this is so hard. I have been there and I wouldn't want to go back. But I am here at 12 months plus because I made a commitment and I chose myself and I can tell you that life is GREAT and I wouldn't go back to that chaos and confusion for a zillion bucks!
Keep getting it out here! You will be so happy you did! We will help you.
You are doing great. What you are feeling is normal. What you are doing with the feelings (coming here instead of acting on them with someone who will just make you feel worse) is OUTSTANDING!!
Your friend,
(not) spinning. I REJECT ALL CHAOS AND CONFUSION!
No, not at all! You are a normal person who is looking for closure and asking for what you deserve....but b/c you are dealing with a crazy person, you will not get it. And that's hard to accept. Hang in there!
The same reason I do...lol. It's hard to believe that someone who looks, feels and sounds human...is not really human at all...and in fact, does not operate within the same framework that most humans do..in a really fundamental way. It's a game for them, a competition, someone wins and someone loses. There is no compromise or meeting in the middle. Someone must win, and it will always be them. And the sooner we stop investing, the less we will lose. All easier said than done b/c I am nowhere close to that myself. Be strong, girl...I'm rooting for you!
anari
I can see the convo being
I caved. I sent it. No
It happens...lol....don't
I could have told you
I know. I know. I'm just so
And I know you're hurt.. I'm
Lol I love you!
Anari, I came across this
Nan
Any apology he might give you
Journey on...
Good point
Anari
You owe me an apology and I'm
Narc: I owe you an apology,
Right
Talking to them is the most
Anari
Good girl, Anari!!
spinning
Yes, he owes you an apology
I feel like the narc - I feel
No, not at all! You are a
Right why doo I keep
The same reason I do...lol.