emotional day

Hi friends,

I will start by saying I know part of my emotions are due it being "that time of the month" however I think that uncovering everything is painful as well. I am having a lot of guilt about going NC because of my relationship with his toddler. I won't break NC but I feel like I abandoned her. When I went NC I changed my number and shut down my Facebook so no one from his family can contact me at all. It has been almost a month since I changed my phone number and I find myself feeling sick to my stomach when I think about my relationship with his daughter. She was only 11 months when I met her and I knew her for 1 1/2 years and also lived with her for 6 months... I was a 2nd mother to her and it feels heartbreaking that she probably doesn't understand. She is only 2 1/2 so I know that most likely she will never remember me but still.... just feeling sad and I am realizing that I have a lot of one sided friendships. Like I feel if I didn't contact a few of my friends they would never even contact me. Just kinda depressed today I guess. I need to give myself more credit ....