Is he a Narc or not please help!
I could never understand my on/off partner due to some of the things and behaviour he displays, I hope by sharing parts of this strory with him i may get some answers is he narc or not.
Omg were do i start, 5 weeks ago i told him to leave there was a few things happening that was upsetting me,the thing is he was aware of this but carried on, this is a 6year relationship.
We have split up a couple of times before due to him being violent when he's had a drink this isn't everytime but it has come out of nowhere, friends have witnesses this behaviour aswell and said there was no excuse ' i wasn't doing anything to cause it' the day after the outbrusts he just goes no sorry nothing, He then tells his family a pack of lies never admits what he's done just blames me!
My outlook has always been 'why is he behaving like this' normal people don't do that they apoligise they tell the truth, They hold there hands up regardless if there relationship is going to end over there actions. ' no never him'... This man always puts me in a postion i cant do right for doing wrong, When he's left HE doesn't contact me,even when all of his belongings ect are still at my house and i mean everything including his daughters belongings, when i contact him he either doesn't answer or if im lucky enough when he does he will be horrible to me, when ive only rang to say would you like your belongings back, its as tho he can never make a decission and will use avoident tactics instaed of sorting the issue out, so its still left hanging in the air. But then will make things up to people when they challenge him. Examples " Just cant talk to her" its not working! Ive tried, we do nothing but argue everything he will use instead of the real reason.
Again all his belongings are at my house he did come to pick them up 2weeks after he left, we was talking over things i couldn't believe some of the things he was saying luckly i recorded the conversation on my phone, he was acting as tho he was ending the realionship, he was dragging up any excuse he could but contradicting himself at the same time, just as we were getting to the end of the conversation and him removing his belongings he stormed off! Again no contact for another couple of weeks i had to contact him regarding some tickets this was via txt agian being awkward with sorting them out, i ended up ringng him 2days later regarding tickets he then got very angry and said i was out of order for not contacting him regarding his belongings i explained to him i wasnt stopping him from getting his stuff, however it was upto him as when i ring him he doesnt answer when i txt he's awkward and only sends 2txts or he just ignores me, so no matter what i do is never right, again he screamed at me and said bin it, He knows i wouldnt do that and if i did it would be look what shes done then he's the victim. I know he will be telling his family im holding his stuff which is not true, even my friend has said she will drop his daughters stuff off his reply ive told her if she wants it picking up i will send someone! Ok you may think he's being agreable however he has caused that much trouble between myself and his family which who he is implying to send im not going to argee so again is this avoiding attics? I think he's just saying that to cover his back because again told his family a pack of lies and they must be saying why you not going for your stuff! This is were he confuses me does he want to get his things as that would be closure? Is he using the situation so he can play the victim? Or is he just playing games? I dont want to fall out with him and i cant see why he behaves this way, there was no drama i just ended it but god you would think i'd slept with his brother the way he's acting. He has been very nasty in the past aswell i was in hospital pregnant and unsure if it was going to be eptopic i had to wait a couple of days before i could be scanned for the outcome, while i was in hospital he cancelled our holiday, i didnt see or hear from him for 3days he turned up the day i had to have the op to remove the baby, guess what disappeared the day after that was the worse time of my life, everybody tried to contact him again lies and no replies! His mum said i was trying to trap him we'd been together for 3years and he wanted a baby, not once did he correct his mum or stuck up for me! He has even tried to blame me for his violent behaviour when he was even like that with his ex wife! When it suits he will say he doesnt like that person he can be but guess what i make him like that..but when he wants me back he needs to address his issue's and will try! I have come to realize he is manipulating everyone, he caused trouble between me and his family me and his ex wife, so we dont talk which i think he likes that way they never get to hear my side of the story do they? This is just the tip of some of the things that have happened, i would never have put up with this so why have i and why am struggling with this person who one minute loves me then the next behaves like ive commit the biggest crime ever?? Please help me understand this person who i dont think is normal..thank you xx