Email from former best friend translated from English to SubText/NarcSpeak for your reading pleasure

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#1 Aug 26 - 1PM
LuckySpurs's picture

Email from former best friend translated from English to SubText/NarcSpeak for your reading pleasure

Here is an email that's been translated for you guys. Enjoy.

Well I'm glad you got that off your chest and I'm sorry that you resent me for so many reasons.
(Subtext: Sarcastic and some sort-of putdown using the same words used for an apology. She actually 'apologized' for my behavior, not hers! Turning it all around towards me)

But just like you I feel that I am entitled to the feelings I have also.
(Subtext: underlying "copycat", and arrogant when confronted with her meanness)

I am sorry for a lot of the things I said but I honestly wasn't trying to be mean when I told you to "have a nice life!" , I meant it.
(Subtext: says "sorry, but" which negates any responsibility for her actions towards me then 'diminishes' what she had said to me earlier during a fight when she had unceremoniously dumped me after 3 years of best friendship. It was the last thing she SCREAMED at me in a voicemail after I had hung up on her because she was out of control. She did indeed mean "have a nice life" as the putdown it was intended to be since that is the way the rest of the human race uses that phrase, but her narcissism thinks she can twist the meaning so that she 'sounds' nice and not like a total bitch.)

You did way too much for me for me to ever wish you ill will.
(Subtext: tries to disarm my anger towards her with praise of me for how I had treated her during our friendship, the exact opposite thing she had said to me during our last fight.)

I will admit that I am very confused though....I tried having this conversation with you a year ago and you said and incredibly cruel thing that hurt very badly.
(Subtext: I'm "confused" because YOU are crazy! Also it wasn't a "conversation" it was a SCREAMING RAGE at me which is why I hung up the phone on her and the only thing I can think of that she thinks was "incredibly cruel" was when she (out of the blue) SCREAMED at me saying "O, AND THERE IS NO WAY I AM JEALOUS OF YOU!" to which I replied, "You're so jealous you can barely breathe" because that really set her off and that's when I hung up the phone. She immediately called back and I sent her to my voicemail and she proceeded to leave me the most hate filled rant.)

(It was then that I handed it to God)
(Subtext: I'm a good person who could never do anything evil because I'm good with God and also I don't ever think of you)

And though you probably won't believe it my family and I have thought about you a lot.
(Subtext: I am lying so I'll go ahead and accuse you of not believing me so that you'll feel guilty and thus believe this lie I am spinning to make myself look good.
"Thought" really means "talked".)

We all hope that you are very happy.
(Subtext: flat out lie. Really means, 'We all talk about you a lot and we hate on you on a daily basis and we all think we’re better than you. - This was proven to me when M's dad turned up his nose at me the last time I saw him & her mother banned me from her house after I blew the whistle on her dope addiction)

Now as for me always playing the victim, I have never "faked" any of my emotions about feeling hurt by others.
(Subtext: very concerned with being viewed as "fake" and "playing the victim" . Terrified that I had seen her true self and she was forcing me to see her as her false self again.)

I do understand although that I did let it get to me when I shouldn't have.
(Subtext: perhaps she was downplaying her dramatics and iterating that she isn't like that now, a renewed false mask for me to see)

God taught me a while back that what others say and do has absolutely no bearing on my happiness.
(Subtext: I am Godlike and you should not question me. How others feel is of absolutely no interest to me.)

We all do a lot of stupid things when we are controlled by pain and grief, but God took that away and now I am at peace and I truly hope you are too.
(Subtext: accusatory, really saying " YOU have done a lot of stupid things because YOU are controlled by pain and grief (from not being able to be around me in a year) and I am "at peace" now without you and not like that true self you have seen of me and I truly hope you feel guilty about having accused me, A GOD fearing person with a great relationship with the Father , so I can only HOPE that you are in good with God like I am.)

I will always love you because you were there for me when no one else was.
(Subtext: flattery. really saying , " I will always PRETEND to love you to your face because you were there for me when no one else was, but I despise that you stood by my side. What is wrong with you that you can't see that I don't need you or anybody else.")

My entire family will.
(Subtext: I tell my family what to do, but we still run your name down all the time. It's our favorite topic of discussion.)

God bless you and your family, S, and I hope you have a great life.
(Subtext: another God reference and some more word flattery)

Also, I don't have your "Gone With The Wind" and I don't think I ever did, but I'll replace it if you would like.
(Subtext: O yea, I'm not a thief, I would NEVER want anything of YOURS. Later saw a picture with my GWTW DVD and it was on my DVD stand she had also stolen. The pic was taken a year after she wrote this letter to me and it was her living room! I'll 'offer' you a gift but you won't accept my offer because now I've made you feel guilty for accusing ME of stealing anything of yours.)

Love, M

*After this email was written to me, M turned around and wrote a mutual friend an email telling her how she was having to put up with my "crazy crap"; right after she said she loved me and always would. I have a feeling that M has no clue what love is; no clue.

Aug 26 - 2PM
penny's picture

What a revelation for me . . .

I am new here and as I was reading this, at first I thought that it was snarky and then half-way through I started crying because what you posted was my ex-best friend and my mom all rolled into one! They both would say they cared and loved me, but their actions were completely different. I thought I was here to heal my heart from my recent guy troubles, but maybe this goes a bit deeper and I am willing to look at that now. Thank you for your sharing. I am going to be brave and open my eyes even wider so that I can actually see people for who they are and not for who they tell me they are! Whew! Someone pass the tissues!