Doing Better, Then I'm Not
Doing Better, Then I'm Not
I know the pain comes in cycles, I know Christmas is a hard time for me emotionally, I know it takes time to heal...
BUT, I had a great night out on Sunday and on Monday. I was with friends, meeting people, doing my own thing, I barely thought of him and I felt like me again and really happy.
Then last night I couldn't sleep, I began crying and this morning I am still crying. I thought I had finally turned a corner in this, only to find myself so upset again today.
I haven't even started my Christmas shopping yet. I was planning to do most of it today and now I feel like crap.
16 months out, after I pass the 18 month marker will I finally be able to maintain some sense of joy in my life again?!
I can't go completely NC because we started a business together and have contractual obligations, but I don't need to see him, rarely need to talk to him and our communication is mostly only through emails. I am very careful to keep things focused only on business and for now I haven't much choice but to continue this arrangement for financial reasons.
I understand well enough now (I think) about narcs to know I need to remain as detached as possible and that part is getting easier because he doesn't try at all to hoover me, but I just wish I could hold onto how good I felt Sunday and Monday.
Does that little bit of contact still mean even at 18 months I will still not be past this? Arrrgghh!
I'm so sorry you are having
Thanks Happy1
Journey on...
Journey