I'm reading alot and seeing that alot of people are talking about that their N has a substance abuse problem.....Mine does..I was wondering how prevalent it is.....
both xn'x had substance abuse problems..then sober..then back to maybe just one vice.. then sober..but the sex addiction doesn't ever leave them, the substance gives them reason to justify even more, but they do it anyway because they are perverted and twisted..it really must suck to be them
I've read that it always comes with a substance abuse problem. did I say 'it' there:))))) I think they have many ways that they find to 'live' with what they are. I saw the abuse when I saw the it with a joint in both hands. Geesh, I mean really, one in each hand????? and blunts at that. He was bombing himself out just to find some escape from his gutter life.
almostlydia
He was sober for 12 yrs before I met him...then fell off the wagon when we were married, then sober for a year and fell off again.
But NOW, he has it under control. (As finances are circling the drain, and priorites are all screwed up and you are screwing women without condoms and then complaining about burning sensations and having to get checked for STDS)
OOOO KKKKKKK.
So, yes. Mine has a problem.
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.' --Mary Anne Radmache
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.' --Mary Anne Radmache
Ex N also drinks 20+cups of cofee a day,eats lot of pecan pie and drinks hot chocolate also a lot....his mother died of diabetes,his grandma also has diabetes,i begged him to test his blood sugar level,because he drinks a lot,all that pepsi plus orange juice,a half gallon everyday....when with me,i have diabetes type 2 but i take good care of myself,he was drinking and eating healthier,and had lost a lot of weight...when i left i saw him 6 months later,he gained 30 pounds already,was grumpier than ever,started drinking alcohool(dark rum)....and i forgot to say he has sleep apnea(his breathing stops during sleep)very scary....he really needs to see a doctor,but he wont.....
Mine does smoke a pack Marlboro red a day,a six pack Pepsi,and eats crap stuff as corn dogs,lots of Ranch Dressing,sandwich spread,cheese puts it on the microwave and makes a dip saus to eat with a bag of crisps....when with me he did not drink but now is drinking dark rum....when younger did smoke pot,did some acid trips and cocaine....Now he says he do not use any drugs because were he works(Housing)they get substance control tests....but he says he loves Pot...and Porn and Masturbation Addict....
20+ cups of coffee a day
2 packs of cigarettes a day
at least 2 diet cokes a day
at least 1 Monster energy drink a day
and pot every night
claims he never tried coke or heroin because he'd be addicted 'like that' (snapping fingers)
not much alcohol - only once in a great while - claims to have gotten smashed on Tangueray & Tonic after he dumped me because he was so 'upset'.
This in addition to the crap he eats. Convenience store shit is the mainstay diet. REAL healthy.
Funny thing about all of this .... for those of you who've read my story and know the situation with my husband....
When I started dating the narc, I remember telling myself that I hoped that one day he would quit the smoking, even though I would never presume to tell him that he should, blah blah blah. I actually recall thinking to myself that if we became committed for the long term, there was a chance that 'some day' he might become sick from the smoking/bad diet/caffeine addiction. And I didn't want to be with another chronically sick partner.
It wasn't until after he D&Dd me that I had an ephiphany that 'some day' is now - the bastard already IS sick. And when he gets to be about 50 he'll have physical illnesses to catch up with his mental ones. He ought to be a real looker / honey in about ten years. Yuck.
Plus instead of ED 50% of the time, he probably has another two years or so to go before it's 75%-100%.
One little dig I got in after he D&Dd me for in part, not being able to produce biological children and not wanting to be with a woman who couldn't ... I said, "you're ASSuming you can." With all that shit he puts in, I'm pretty sure them are blanks he shootin'.
Thank god for "digs""on our side that is..I love it when I hear a N gets a good dig!!..They deserve it,after all their game is to dig all day everyday..sickooos...somehow with all the substances mine looks young still,even young enough to be able to be 31 and go wih a 23 yr old..how sick is that for you?i got a good dig in too..I saw you're turning into that creepy weird guy that goes out with young women..lol..
I read somewhere once that Ns (or it may have been Anti-Socials) stay looking young and even somewhat angelic (mine did - until he turned on me and has the 'classic' N/P reptilian look on) despite all of the addictions. It's part of their allure. And it's partly because they are still teenagers emotionally (they never grew up) and also because they have no conscience (at least ASPDs don't), nothing really bothers them so they don't get 'old' looking like normal people.
Mine actually said that he wakes up most days and still can quite believe he's a 'grown-up'. I think it's telling and funny that he didn't even say 'adult'. He said 'grown-up'. Such a kid thing to say.
The ex-Psych professor looked young when I met him... I was 18, he was 32. He had boyish charm. He even dared to flaunt his bare chest in the coffee shop (as some have noted here, that's more appropriate to West Hollywood/the Castro than a cafe)
However, after 4 years with me--
1)His crows' feet had gotten significantly larger. As a friend of mine noted "he has creases beside his eyes."
2)His teeth had gotten worse. They were bad when I met him... but he may be down to 5, the same number as my toddler nephew. Time for teething toys! He'd always chew on pencils, but a little monkey or alligator chew toy (thank God they're CHEAP) would be more fitting.
3)The paunch. He KNEW the OW would be moving in before my senior year. She had given up her curator job at LACMA to be with him. He was model thin when I met him... by the time I left, he had significant belly fat. He was REALLY out of shape.
4)His class on Shakespeare's Sonnets was more about drinking wine than discussing the content.
5)Falling asleep in the library.
He had addictions to food and alcohol. My classmates described him as an "angry drunk" with a masturbation habit. I think the stresses of a "normal relationship" with me drove him to find consolation from the bottle and the fridge.
When it comes to his belly fat... hey, he could give me his pound of flesh!
Wow. I never thought of that. Mine definitely looks old from the sunbathing, smoking and drinking, but he DOES have that "angelic" innocent look like little kids do.
Yeah,you are right..I know mine has serious problems..Sometimes he is glowing like a heavenly angel..other times he is laying there pale white angry-nasty...I'm convinced these meds the doctor gavehim messed him up..There were only a few times before the doctor switched his med that he was moody..But it seemed to happen the week the doctor switched him off painkillers for his back to an antidepressant,anti-anxiety,sleeping pills...add in there drinking and smoking..He's just toxic in so many ways....he really said he wakes up somes days and can't believe he is a goewn up..hahahaha how old is he?
Yep..mine liked pot everynight too...I hope he is bugging out to all the emails i just wrote him..handing it to him..i hope he hallucinates on it and HE BUGS OUT..lol
Pot everynight????? LOL, mine woke up smoking it....took this crazy pipe to work with him loaded with weed,and ended the night smoking weed.........but, noooooo,he didn't have a problem..how can you have a problem when you have a prescription you paid 250dollars for........geez,pot is natural....LOL....
the xN is in the alcohol biz--perfect excuse. He smoked pot on occasion. He also used No-Doz caffine pills to counteract the alcohol (so he could drive home). Then sleep-aids to help him sleep. I found a prescription for an ED drug.
And he always accused me of being "addicted to yoga".
Aging? He is aging poorly. Yet everyone thinks I am 10 yrs younger...
total pothead and
Yes
Oui
Cocaine, but would never
only one way to go...Forward (tm?)
yes
well mine did tell me that
I've read that it always
almostlydia
yes, mine does but he would
Mine has his under control!
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.' --Mary Anne Radmache
substance abuse....something else
Aceonelady
Substance abuse
Aceonelady
Yep
That sounds like one hell of
only one way to go...Forward (tm?)
Sick
Thank god for "digs""on our
Looking Young
Forever Young?
morty
Yeah,you are right..I know
He'll be 37 on Saturday
Yep..mine liked pot
Pot everynight????? LOL,
Mine liked
substance abuse
hell
addictions