Does anyone wonder if you NEVER were his GF even though you thought you were?

But people thought he&I were boyfriend/girlfriend. After the final D&D, I told him that the talk on-campus was that people ASSUMED he and I were sexually involved. I thought of him as my friend, as a *POTENTIAL* boyfriend, but neither an Official nor Casual Boyfriend. He and I went to lunch together, to concerts, lectures... it never got as far as sex. I once ruefully joked that he was unworthy of a one night stand... and that's damning, IMHO. With the sole exception of phone calls, our relationship was purely public. I didn't even go to his office till the final D&D... and even then, it wasn't private, because he&I were arguing in front of his office mate,a fellow prof.

He would use that in text messages whenever he thought I was pulling away...but when he knew he had me, it was back to being objectified as body parts.

Sends chills down my spine how similar all our stories are. It's hard for me to accept people like this exist in the world, but I now know they do. Mine called me his gf for nearly 2 years, sending pics of us to his family back home, and bragging about me to his friends and coworkers. But when I stopped stroking his ego and started standing up to some of his bs, i.e, constant lies and selfishness, he ran to someone who he kept on the side as a safety net. Someone who was his source prior to me, but who he never deemed good enough to be his actual gf. I feel sorry for her. She was hoovered back into the same situation with him (friends on his terms)and now he's back to abusing her. As for me, once his true self was revealed, he quickly D&D'd me, only begging me back to numb his ever recurring boredom and subsequent depression or to just get some action. Once he realized he wasn't going to be getting that from me, all the I-still-love-you's stopped, and he disappeared as though I never existed. ← Best thing that ever happened to me (his disappearing).

I had to ask my narc all the time if I was his girlfriend. It sure as shit didn't feel like it. I really felt that the foster kid was his girlfriend or "significant other." We went out to dinner once (at my demand, of course), and he parked and went around to, I thought, open the door for me. He actually opened the BACK door for the child and held his hand, walking him to the restaurant down the block. The best part was that he left not only me in the car as if he didn't even realize I was there-he also left my daughters in the back seat. And one of them was just seven years old. He literally took the boy out and closed the door on them, leaving them in the car along with me. During dinner, he didn't even look at me but had the child sit next to him and he would stroke his hand and face, kiss him, and tell him he loved him. He also introduced him to the owner, while he left my daughters and me at the table. You cannot make this crazy sh*t up.

Mine called me his girlfriend, but since he lied about being separated and in the process of getting a divorce, lied about not being with any other women, lied about, well, everything....it doesn't matter what he said, the exact opposite is the truth.

introduced me to both his children i.e 18 yr old daughter and I spent a lot of time with his 7 year old son and mine together... Some people at his work knew about me but he mainly used the fact that I was still married to keep me away from everyone else.... but then he had at least two other women on the go, that no-one knew about until I exposed him and finally that'sd how the current official GF got to meet his kids.... sick bag.....

I can't really say what the heck I was to him. I know what he was to me though. ;)

I was definitely a gf because he hid his true self from me for a long time. I always trusted him and he always made it seem like he was trustworthy. Our relationship was up and down. He would act a fool and start arguements with me then turn on the charm. He never actually left I put him out when I found out about his OW. He was out looking for apts. but I don't think he had intentions on leaving. I think after I found out about her thats when he knew the smoke was clearing and his mask was peeling off .

Nope, mine made it clear I was just a friend with benefits, but towards the end he wanted me totally as his. Hence the reason for wanting to ruin my marriage. He used to tell his friends how wonderful I was. They used to tell me that I was all he talked about. But, His immediate family knew nothing about me. Ie: His mother, brothers, or his daughter.