Does anyone have vivid dreams of ex NARCS.

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#1 Jun 30 - 7AM

Qing Yuan

Does anyone have vivid dreams of ex NARCS.

This morning, I woke up in tears. Exhausted form dreaming about my ex.
Every time I dream of him (and I do a lot) I am naked with him in an embrace.
He is kind and wonderful.

I saw the post about never arguing. We never argued, but I think this was part of his plan to drop me fork the greatest height possible.

My current narc husband makes my ex narc look like a sweet little fluffy pussy cat.

So I guess in my head, my consciousness reverts back to time when I was really deliriously happy. I am so unwell and unhappy and lonely and empty these daysâ€¦
~Iâ€™m Isolated with a child, I have few friends and no money to get any more therapy. .

I think my dreams are filled with him because he was the perfection I though I was searching for all my life. Attentive, kind, courteous, polite, intelligent etc etcâ€¦

I dreamt first, we were alone in bed together naked and I woke him up by kissing him.
Then later I dreamt that he was with his (Very beautiful Korean model wife). She was shopping and he was in his fast sports car sitting in a car park car waiting for her, and he was telling me that it was impossible and that he was in love with his wife and to leave him alone.

I mean WTFâ€¦ Why am I allowing my OWN mind to hurt me with the same kind of stuff he did to when he dumped me for the girl he ran off with? The skinny much more sexual girl that he went for over me, almost 15 years ago nowâ€¦ ????

WHAT is that all about???

I woke up and just cried.
I felt disgusted that my mind, that my frivolous unconscious mind would just drag me through thatâ€¦

Its horrible the hold these guys have on usâ€¦

I know my ex-narc was a very different narc to my husband although both cerebral narcs but he was everything to me and I was devoted to him. I got so ill after we split up. Now I know now it was the game playing that ensued after the break up that gave me a form of PTSD/PTSS. I got weaker and weaker and thinner and thinner until I was almost dead form drug taking. I got PTSD/PTSS with narc husband not long after we married so different story all together..

Butâ€¦ Tell me does anyone else get dreams like this?

I donâ€™t dream about any of the nice men I dated. I only dream about narc ex and interestingly narc ex before thatâ€¦ Itâ€™s often sexual and very real and diminishes my strong sense of past and make it feel like five minutes ago.
Why do out minds do it?
I guess itâ€™s the brainwashingâ€¦ its just a drip-drip of past data that they put there to trick us, and itâ€™s still in our minds, and it drips slowly away taking with it your ability to be strong.

I hate my dreamsâ€¦ its hard to heal with dreams like thisâ€¦
ïŠ

#2 Jul 1 - 7AM

betty2020

I dream of him frequently

I dream of him frequently and very vivid. They do have a lot to do with sex as well. This is because in the end the the deviance of his sexual fantasy's were unveiled to me in raw form. It really thru me over the edge. The secret life he was living inside his head and behind my back weighs heavy on my psyche. I do not know when the dreams will stop or if they ever will. I wake up with the same gut wrenching knot in my stomach and i am pissed that he stole another precious 8 hours of my life and i had absolutely no control over it. It is frustrating Vix. I do believe it gets better but never really leaves us for good. For now i just pray for a peaceful nights rest. xoxoox

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

#3 Jun 30 - 10PM

Susan32

Now he's a ghost

I used to have erotic, sexy dreams of my ex-P DURING the "relationship." But those dreams abruptly ended with the D&D. Every once in awhile, I'll dream I'm back at my alma mater, and for some reason, I'm looking for him. I'll only see the back of him, or the back of his head. I decide that pursuing him is worthless and the dream returns to its normal programming. In my dreams, my ex-P is a mirage, a ghost, not even real.

#4 Jun 30 - 9AM

GIJ

Dreams do get better

Vix - I had a vivid dreams before NC and learning of what narcs are, etc. I think a part of me was still trying to make sense of what was happening. I found it to be very confusing at the time. In fact, it kept me rationalizing what was happening, all the while I was functioning less and less. When I learned about narcs from this website and others I decided to listen to an MP3 from Kaleah Laroche. It involved an exercise of detaching spiritually. I was desperate and needed to do something! So I did her exercise. That day I went NC and have been NC ever since. No more dreams like before. In fact, my dreams have been healing and awesome!! I feel such positive emotion now when I dream. I feel gratitude and embrace things and people with joy. I am flooded with love. I literally hug people and weep with gratitude in my dreams. I feel so connected and whole. I think you would benefit from exploring dream symbology. There are sites on line as well as many books on it too. Hang in there and keep heading toward healing.

#5 Jun 30 - 10PM (Reply to #18)

hitandrun

GIJ, used Kaleah's stuff

I have to keep cutting cords because they keep reattaching...probably a bit on both ends because we are in this legal b.s. I like her stuff, it addresses the spiritual aspect of this...I used to feel sorry for him, but now I think he's evil(and I don't mean such a term gives him ANY power, it is just a label for his choice in life.) I also keep releasing him to God.Let God deal with his ass...I'm tired of it.

#6 Jun 30 - 9AM

Lisa E. Scott

Vix

I still dream of him too. Seven years later. It's less frequent now, but the dreams I have of him are the most vivid dreams I've ever experienced. Usually, it's a dream where we are back together and he's being wonderful and fabulous. This is our subconscious. This just shows the power of our subconscious and the importance of getting control over it by retraining it. Certainly, we can never fully control our subconscious, but thanks to science we now know there are ways we can get more control over it than we ever thought possible. It's a process, of course, but it's fascinating to me, none the less. I'm still fine tuning my coaching program. Once it's done, I will have more helpful tips and advice to offer on how you can work on your subconscious on your own. I'm still researching and getting my thoughts together. I think I'm going to start by rolling out the 8 steps in the support group meetings we will start having. I want to get everyone's input on how we can best heal and move on. Everyone of us here is a pioneer, in my opinion, and in the best position to help others heal from this. I want us to come up with a recovery plan together. I will get the initial outline done, of course, but then I think together we will be in the best position to fine tune it during meetings and conversations here. My point is, we will develop tools to help each other. We don't have to live like this forever. There's lots we can do to heal. Hang in there. xoxo

#7 Jul 1 - 6AM (Reply to #9)

Steph

Lisa

I always had dreams of him, even when i was with him, that i couldn't find him, get a hold of him, or he was cheating or being distant etc. I always felt desperate to reach him in my dreams. Now, my last dream of him was him trying to reach me but this time I didn't want him, he annoyed me, and I broke it off with him.lol Anyways, I was just wondering....do you think this is a positive sign that the work i've been doing on myself is finally reaching my subconcious mind? Sorry for the ramble. The subconcious mind just really intrigues me!

#8 Jul 1 - 10AM (Reply to #12)

Lisa E. Scott

Stayingstrong!

Absolutely! Yes! This is a HUGE indication that the work you've been doing is finally reaching your subconsious mind. HUGE SIGN! I'm so happy for you. What a big step. We need to celebrate!

#9 Jul 1 - 11AM (Reply to #13)

Steph

This makes me smile

This makes me smile bigtime! It's pretty damn exciting to know you CAN influence your mind!

#10 Jul 1 - 11AM (Reply to #14)

Lisa E. Scott

Stayingstrong

You should be smiling right now! And yes, you absolutely can influence your mind. It's amazing what we are now learning about our minds now, thanks to science. Congrats again! xoxo

#11 Jul 1 - 11AM (Reply to #15)

Steph

Thank you

#12 Jul 1 - 11AM (Reply to #16)

Lisa E. Scott

Stayingstrong

You're more than welcome. So happy for you! :)

#13 Jul 1 - 6AM (Reply to #10)

NancyM

Definitely positive.

Totally believe that if in your dreams you are taking your control back, then you are detaching from the hold he had over you. For me its about unhooking those hooks he had in you, and I really believe that this is an awesome sign that you are achieving this. Just my thoughts....

Nevergoback

#14 Jul 1 - 7AM (Reply to #11)

Steph

yay!

Thanks! I was thinking and hoping it's a good sign too. A step closer to freedom from him!

#15 Jun 30 - 9AM

ewa

I dream

I dream about him for few days now. But my dreams i completely different. I don't know , maybe because i read this forum almost every day. What i dream is that he is trying to get me back and i keep rejecting him, because i know he did hurt me and i feel he will try to do it again.

#16 Jun 30 - 9AM

helldweller

dreaming of him

Yes, every single night I dream about him. It's always the same dream: he and his foster child come out of his house, holding hands, get into his car and drive away without us. I have had to actually watch that every day for the last two years, and I replay it over and over in my sleep all night. It's madness.

#17 Jun 30 - 9AM

aceonelady

vivid dreams ...yes...

I do have them almost for 2 years now....I dream that i go to his home and his ex girlfriend opens the door(the mother of his children,they are separeted)and thaen she calls him and he tells me no,you are not coming in.....and there i stand with my bags after a flight from Europe to Tulsa,Oklahoma,not understanding what is going on....And he looks soooo good,so real i can almost smell him....Then when i wake up i am crying...and my hole day is just a disgrace....

Aceonelady

#18 Jun 30 - 8AM

NancyM

Brainwashing

Look this is going to sound dumb, but what you are doing is trying to rationalize. Until your brain gets that you have to stop, you will continue to have dreams on how perfect it could have been. We have all done this and it is the absolute hardest to break because it feels like even your subconscious is trying to betray you. It is not the case. Your subconscious is trying to send you a message. I took a while to learn this, but finally when I listened, I was amazed what I found out. Vix your going to be okay hun !!

Nevergoback

#19 Jun 30 - 8AM

smileyfacepr

Iv been there!!

Yes I still dream of him...I have woken up crying cause the dreams seem so real..sometimes he is w/another woman..sometimes we r intimate..sometimes we r hugging..I hate the dreams too, I get up exhausted..just them still sucking the life out of us and draining us!! It will be over 1 day..AND THIS TO SHALL PASS!!!! hugs to u!!

smileyfacepr

#20 Jun 30 - 10AM (Reply to #2)

Qing Yuan

Ive read about breaking or

Ive read about breaking or cutting chords! Perhaps all need to find out more about this stuff! It's like they continue to psychicaly drain us even after the fact! Thank u all! uavhelped me so much! Xx

#21 Jun 30 - 10PM (Reply to #3)

hitandrun

Vivid Dreams of Wannabe Satan?

Unfortunately,yes. Hopefully they will evolve into me waiving a magic wand and turning him into the pile of shit he really is : )

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