Does anyone else here feel like telling everyone else just to "go away" sometimes?

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#1 Sep 23 - 11AM
lisalisa47
lisalisa47's picture

Does anyone else here feel like telling everyone else just to "go away" sometimes?

And i don't mean you guys. You guys are the only ones i wish to really speak with right now.

It's just that, i have several friends (of the male persuasion) that know my situation and still continue to "pester" me, in a way. Or maybe that's just how i am taking it.

Right now i have only 2 days off from my work, and they arent in a row, and all i want to do is work, go home, work on my computer, talk to you guys, see my dog and go to sleep.

I don't WANT To make plans with anyone else. I Don't WANT TO make comittments with other people. I don't think its cuz im in a great depression (although sometimes i feel very down, ill admit) its just that i;ve always preferred my own company to many others,and i esepeically do right now.

Can any of you sistah's feel me? LOL

Sep 24 - 5PM
CarolKittyGale (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Sometimes I want to go out

Sometimes I want to go out and have fun and be social but I have times more so since my last Narc experiece, when I just want to be left alone and I purposely turn of my landline and mobile phone and just BE with myself. I have always been like that whether happy or depressed. I have always thought it important to be able to be on your own and have your you time.
Sep 23 - 4PM
Klarity Belle
Klarity Belle's picture

2 years of LC with just about everyone!

Yup! I finally decided I needed the time for me - sure I have spent a lot of that online communicating and searching amongst those like me but that is because those I live amongst don't have a handle on trauma or trauma renactment, or ptsd or cptsd, or recovery from all the aforementioned. I just needed a bit of peace, i was sick of being an introvert pretending to be an extrovert - sheesh!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran "That which we do not confront in ourselves we meet as fate" ~ Carl Jung http://www.storyofmylife.com/KLARITY4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran

"That which we do not confront in ourselves we meet as fate" ~ Carl Jung

http://www.storyofmylife.com/KLARITY4

Sep 23 - 12PM
Briseis
Briseis's picture

I'm three years out and I

I'm three years out and I STILL am very strongly "leave me alone!" I don't know if it is so strong because I spent my whole life up until the end of my Narc relationship believing I had no right to my own space? LOL that pretty much answers my question. I am very social and interactive when I am at work, or around other people. But I do not seek out opportunities to be social. I like my alone time, cherish it in fact. Some folks are just more introverted than others . . . we get re-energized during alone time. SOme folks re-energize around other people. You just have to know your own style, and then respect it. An introvert with extroverted friends is always trying to beat them back LOL with a big stick, while the extrovert stands outside the front door screaming COME PLAY WITH ME LISAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" It's not necessarily depression or dysfunction. And even if it IS . . . you've just been through Hell!! Only characters in TV sitcoms shake their heads and get over it in seven minutes. Give yourself a break . . . deliberately :)
Sep 23 - 12PM (Reply to #10)
lisalisa47
lisalisa47's picture

NOW i know why i take a shine to several of you here

No offense - i love all of you here, but there are a few self imposed "loners" i totally connect with. I remember my sister (we were in our early 20s and shared an apt at one point) saying to me, You know you are SO much fun, and last night, you wanted to hang out, drink champagne etc. and then tonight, you just shut me down.... I have always been like that, it was on MY terms....LOL...how rude, huh? LML

LML

Sep 23 - 12PM (Reply to #9)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Breisis...

I couldn't contain myself you wrote: SOme folks re-energize around other people. And I thought to myself...yea NARCS!!! watch out for 'em...LOL
Sep 23 - 11AM
betty2020
betty2020's picture

I hid for three months in my

I hid for three months in my bedroom. I didnt even want to go to the grocery store. This is part of PTSD. It affects you in a way that even your normal daily routines are a major task. It is almost like being in freeze response. Traumatic events can make you freeze. This is more on a sub conscious level however. All i thought was that i was depressed and lost my zest for living. This was only a small part of the picture. I didnt see the other aspects of what was happening to me. Hypervigilance kept me on constant alert. I always felt a state of panic in my gut. Sometimes i would begin to shake violently with just a thought of the N. My PTSD was in full force. I couldn't talk to my friends. They could never understand and often looked at me as if i was having a nervous break down. If i had a nickle for every time i was told to "Snap out of it!" I would buy all of us a yacht to sail away in. I had no desires to do anything. The weight was so heavy that just moving my legs some days was unbearable. Some times i think we forget here on the board that what we have experienced IS abuse. And emotional abuse is just as severe as physical. When i was in San Diego at the conference on abuse and trauma a survivor got up and shared her story. She had been through horrific physical abuse, but something she said really stuck out to me. She said, "the broken bones and bruises healed, but it is the emotional scaring that has lasted a life time". Be gentle with yourself and do not try to push something that is not there for you right now. Your in a safe place with people that understand and love you. You owe no one a thing except yourself! One day the time will come that you will want to go out of your house and be with people but wait for that desire to come and dont let others force you. You will know when the time is right for you. only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Sep 23 - 12PM (Reply to #6)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Thank You Betty

That clarified a lot for me, but why don't "professional's" get it? I described exactly what you posted going on with me...I can get to the store 1 block away for my iced coffee. That is about it.
Sep 23 - 12PM (Reply to #7)
no more
no more's picture

They are not holding themselves hostage

Why is it that we are paralyzed,coatose and weighted down with all this emotional abuse runnning thru our heads and they just continue on as if nothing has happened????

I just got involved with the same N for the second time.
What was I thinking? Because I have put myself back to the same point where I am blaming myself again. And for what?
I want to get rid of these feelings again.

Sep 23 - 11AM (Reply to #5)
lisalisa47
lisalisa47's picture

Excellent answer Betty

Thank you so much. You know if i really want to apply the old insight, i have to say that there was a narc before this one (for 18 years and slightly different in that he actually had SOME empathy and couldn't keep his hands off me) and i think i've lived with this PSTD feeling most of my dating life. Yes, for the first time in decades I am on my own, and i owe no one anything. Thanks for the support and words, that is what i needed to hear...Love LML

LML

Sep 23 - 11AM
Used
Used's picture

lisalisa47

yep yep yep, but i tell them i want to be left alone, i tell people i wont make arrangments or commitments to them, i used to turn my phones off when i was with n, to get some peace,now i dont turn them off, now i expect everyone to respect who i am, my family even phone if they want to come here if i dont want to speak i dont ... the narcs are out of my life.... iam my own person for first time since i was 15..met exh, as rude as it is, i have said to people if you dont like me as i am or cant accept me now for who i am ,then leave me alone...
Sep 23 - 11AM (Reply to #2)
lisalisa47
lisalisa47's picture

We would definitley be friends in real life too

I used to say (10 years ago) my REAL friends don't show up at my door on my only day off, without calling first....LOL LML

LML

Sep 23 - 2PM (Reply to #3)
ShaynasMommy
ShaynasMommy's picture

Yeah LisaLisa,

I have to say that i felt the same way you did. Its not that I started to hate being around people, its just like I needed time and space and quietness to process what had just happened, and I didnt feel like doing a lick of housework, either, so who would want to come around unnanounced to see the mess I was living in? LOL Oh, and get this, pertaining to "friends". My friend at that time was having roomate problems and asked if I wanted to move into an apt together with her after the D&D. I politely declined even though she would have been a good roomate, but for the reasons stated above. You know what that treacherous bitch did? She moved in with the Narc! LOL just another twist in the bizarre adventures with the Narc. Good thing for some of us they are completely out of our lives.