Never once thought this.
I never once wanted him back. Never regretted breaking up with him.
I think I'm colder than I have given myself credit for. lol When someone abuses me, I no longer find them attractive or arousing. I did 'hope' we could remain 'friends.' His continuous abuse and insults AFTER the breakup made me regret that thought.
At best it is great sex (different than love-making), at worst it sets up the inevitable d and d that will come again! Such a complete waste of time and energy.
There comes a point, and I have passed it, where this stuff is a mystery. There comes a time where ignorance is not an honest reason, for the exposed narc, and the education that we get, unveils the truth for us to see. The nature of a narc with the PD is permanent, and there is no cure.
ds
If u spend 10seconds imagining the AFTERMATH - the devaluation, insults, the degraded feelings, the being used feeling, letting the narc win and trample all over your dignity, lost of pride etc etc the list is endless. Then narcky immediately goes off with another man/woman.
Please dont! This is so so not worth it. The 10 seconds of imagining the aftermath is enough to put me off even to see him not to mention have sex.
Feel like you deserve a more serious response than the one I gave earlier...
What do you call the state of your relationship before the split? It was pretty much "just sex" then...was it good enough for you?
I told the ex N when I left that he only needs two things in life...a blow up doll and a maid. And I meant that.
I don't want to even be in the same room as him nowadays let alone the same bed.
But, before I knew what I know now, I may have considered it but equally know that I would not have felt good about myself afterwards.
Dee x
but i am NOT NC yet, just LC. but since finding this website and couple months ago I have to say the sex hasn't been as exciting and pleasurable as it always was. the knowledge i've gained on here has opened my eyes and I no longer feel emotionally attached - just angry. therefore that amazing sex i used to brag to my friends about... eh, its good....
for women it's more emotional. so if ur no longer emotionally attached, its not gonna be good sex anyway in my opinion.
After not seeing the narc for over a year, I thought I wanted to make love again. One last time. For a moment, the possibility of seeing him existed. The more it looked like it was going to happen, the more nauseated I became. Fortunately, it didn't happen because a month later I found out what a sleaze and liar he had been. Had I seen him, I think I would have vomited on him.
YES! I THOUGHT it and DID it. Came to one conclusion: SOOO NOT WORTH IT!!!
However, I must say, do to this thought & action, I'm finally SOO over it :)
Why would you want to set aside your integrity and allow yourself to submit for abuse? Sex for the N is not what you think it is. Even when it's "good" its still abuse. If you are thinking thoughts about "just having sex" with them, you are clearly still very deeply under the influence of a trauma/dominance bond, and for the sake of your own self-esteem, you should spend more time seeking to understand that, than thinking about having sex...with anyone...right now. What you're expressing here is not an empowered position, you are demeaning yourself by thinking that is even an option.
You are worth so much more, than to reduce yourself to being someone's sex toy.
And I have plenty of self esteem. That's why I walked away the minute I figured out I was being abused. Seriously. And I haven't gone back. Not even once.
It's a thought. It's something our minds do when trying to sort it all out. Plus, since I am an adult with self esteem, I have had non committal sex, but wasn't "somebody's sex toy.". Because I was dealing with other rational, caring, sane adults.
But, like I said, with the Narc , this is obviously a bad idea.
I thought that early on, when I wanted something -- anything -- to still exist between me and the N. Especially since he lives far away and I had despaired of having any other sort of contact with him, I fantasized about traveling to meet him and "luring" him back into my life that way. Even if our relationship wasn't restored by that, I thought to myself, maybe I could plant the seed of longing in his mind.
That was all back when I was still "thinking magically, before the truth really sank in.
Now that I know what he is, the thought of intimacy with him makes me shudder.
Yeah it happens to me but then I remember that it's a veeeery very bad idea. They will start using it for control, because EVERYTHING is about control.
Me either. It's sad really. These people need to bully another person in order to feel secure with themselves. Pathetic and we deserve better! Guaranteed there are SO many people that would be more than obliged to have a sexual relationship AS WELL as a romantic one!
Denial is your biggest enemy, clarity is your best friend. Only you know how much pain and suffering and abuse you are willing to endure before you bottom out and decide enough is enough.
I wasn't willing to put up with much pain and suffering . The minute I saw that she was willfully hurting me, I left. I wasn't even discarded. I was just given a "slap On the wrist" which might as well have been a punch in the stomach. And I left. Nobody puts baby in a corner. :)
Never once thought this. I
At best it is great sex
If u spend 10seconds
I hear ya.
If you enjoy sex with the
Feel like you deserve a more
The relationship before the split
No thank you
saying this
Women
BUT...
The closer it got, the sicker I felt
YES! I THOUGHT it and DID it.
Wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole
do you really want to be a human blow-up doll?
Trauma bond? I've been having sex for 30 years
I thought that early on, when
Yes, then NO
Control
It.Was.All.
please read the article posted here on "eroticized rage"
Erotisized rage
Erotisized Rage Article - Here
Big concepts
denial
Oh, I know
No.
Of course.......but a very
Just have sex
Yes!!