Do they scream and yell at their whores the way they do their wives if they are inconvenienced

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#1 Aug 24 - 4PM
jaycee
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Do they scream and yell at their whores the way they do their wives if they are inconvenienced

My hN is so volitile, and so angst, if hes trying to eat, and you bother him with too many words, he screams, like a bear, a miserable bear, if you inconvenience him with too many questions, he jumps down your throat, etc....I wonder does he treat his whore this way? now that he is living with her, does he scream and yell if she inconveniences him in any way, or does he placate to her every word and whim? I wonder, I bet he bites his tongue and smiles and says be right with you, Im trying to eat.......or hoping he jumps down her throat like he does mine and did for years whenever he was inconvenienced.

Aug 24 - 5PM
jen79
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of course he does

no question, they do act out with them. Especially when he can be sure about her already. The moment he thinks she loves him, thats when they start to act like jerks. And when they spend time with each other each day, he won't have the strength to act all day. Be sure. They do do the same. And if she can handle that, then because she tries so hard to please him "and always tries to say the right things" (original quote from my P). It's either on their terms, or there is no relationship. They need submissive preys. Don't worry, you are no exception, he was a jerk before you, he is now a jerk with her, and he will be a jerk long after you and her.
Aug 24 - 5PM (Reply to #5)
jaycee
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of course he does

oh jen, you made my day, of course he is convinced she loves him, he had the nerve to tell me she loves him so much, even way more than i ever did, which he thought was impossible. so if what you are saying holds true with all n's then good, shes getting the same shitty treatment when its inconvenient for him. hahahahaha.........good, what comes around goes around..........im sure she walks on eggshells too.......and hopefully there will be a day when we can say long after that whore.........hopefully soon..........

Jaycee

Aug 24 - 5PM (Reply to #14)
jen79
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loving him more than you did jaycee

That she loves him more than you did - means in Narc's world = she doesn't stand up to me like you did, she is even more submissive than you were, she puts up with my crap without making any stress...that's what they mean when they say "she loves me more"... jesus, they are all the same, I heard that crap before.
Aug 24 - 5PM (Reply to #16)
Susan32
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Being submissive

That's how I made sense of the ex-Psych professor dumping me for his LA curator girlfriend (I met her once, she was a nice woman-very kind,I couldn't call her a slut) She gave up her lucrative career in Los Angeles. She worked only a mile or so away from the college at a museum (this city in the Southwest has LOTS of museums) Without mentioning her by name, he talked about calling someone at midnight. I wasn't willing to give up my friends, family, or religion for him. Marrying him would've cost too much of a spiritual dowry. One I wasn't going to pay. She was willing to give more of herself to him than I was... but for what???
Aug 24 - 5PM (Reply to #17)
jaycee
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being submissive

so i take it my hN is full of shit, and this girl is not demanding and controlling but submissive and keeps quiet about everything. God is he one hell of a liar........hope he continues lying to her and she finds out.........maybe she wont put up with it for so long........

Jaycee

Aug 24 - 6PM (Reply to #18)
Susan32
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He's probably lying

I hoped the OW (whom the ex-Psych professor married) was as narcissistic as him. Then she'd be able to put up with his cr@p, because she'd be full of herself as well. It's surprising the hN paints the OW as "controlling and demanding"... then again, the ex-P spoke of his curator fiancee in such a cold, detached way you'd think he was talking about his electric bill. That's what makes Ns/Ps maddening. Some of them lie all the time... and others mix truth with lies, so you don't know what to make of it.
Aug 24 - 5PM (Reply to #15)
jaycee
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loving him more than you did jaycee

i know what you are saying but do you think they or him are still in the honeymoon period. no fighting, lovey dovey

Jaycee

Aug 24 - 5PM (Reply to #6)
jen79
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jaycee

I just told you out of my own experience, and the last P wasnt the first Narc. I had 2 narc before as being the good wife and the whore and the madonna and the whore again, my whole life spending to please some Ns, to convince them how good I am, and god knows I gave more than I could afford. And no matter what, be the casual whore who makes no stress, be the good madonna wife who gives all love - at the end of the day they show you who they are - no exception. Don't worry - she has to deal with him now - and he won't suddenly change - who does? No one, no one suddenly changes, it takes hard work of therapy, spirituality and self grow...it takes years if you are lucky. Dont worry, he does already yell.
Aug 24 - 5PM (Reply to #7)
jaycee
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jaycee

jen, but since theyve only lived together for about five months now, is it still their honeymoon period and is he still wearing his mask, although theyve been screwing around for over two or three years behind my back......just a question

Jaycee

Aug 24 - 5PM (Reply to #8)
jen79
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jaycee the only difference

will be - he yelles and he might give a lazy apologize, then he will test the waters already even in the honeymoon period - especially there. She is still under his magic spell, so she will make excuses for his behaviour and she will be willing to believe every lame excuse he gives. But Narcs you know it, if you give in, you take them by their words, you believe their little excuses "ok he was just stressed out", he will see it as weakness and as a sign to push the boundaries further... Don't be jeolous, I know we sometimes have these fantasies that they get all the goods - couldn't be more far from the truth.
Aug 24 - 5PM (Reply to #9)
jaycee
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jaycee the only difference

I fantasize all the time that they are lovey dovey and happy all the time and she hasnt seen him without the mask even though she was screwing him for years, theyve on lived together for a few months, hope the honeymoon is over, according to him shes controlling and demanding and fights with him all the time but hes a liar, hope the honeymoon is over.........hope she sees his ugly monster

Jaycee

Aug 24 - 5PM (Reply to #10)
jen79
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jaycee

they live together for 5 months, if honeymoon is not over by now, it will be in one month. This never lasts longer than 6 months, when you are living together. And you can't act 24/7 living in one place - no way. I would rather say, she puts up with his crap and is submissive.
Aug 24 - 5PM (Reply to #11)
jaycee
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jaycee

oh jen you are making my day, according to him like i said, she fights with him demands controls and to punish her he has affairs, those i have proof positive. i think shes getting tired already though, i think she threw him out one night but he would never tell me that.........what do you think is she what he says or submissive

Jaycee

Aug 24 - 5PM (Reply to #12)
jen79
jen79's picture

jaycee

when they are fighting and she is demanding, as he says, this means in his world she is not as submissive as he wants her to be, he is already cheating on her - so her bubble starts already to get some scratches. As I said, he will show already his true face by now - they are living together, but she misses the red flags, she is in honeymoon, she fighted long to get there where she is now, so it will take her a while to face the truth, but that they are having fights means, he is already showing his true nature to her. It doesn't matter if she is submissive or not. HE is the same. Happiness with a narc, this doesn't exist. Only denial and delusion.
Aug 24 - 6PM (Reply to #13)
jaycee
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jaycee

jen, so maybe he isnt lying about the fighting, and maybe he says this because she is not as submissive as i was, and he thought she would be easy to control. i dont think she has realized he is cheating yet, i think he hides that very well from her, i dont know how, when he is sleeping with two different women i know about, maybe she doesnt want to know shes so desperate to keep him, as she fought tooth and nail for me to throw him out.........God i hope hes rearing his ugly monster as we speak, but as i said, i think she threw him out for the night last night and he begged to come back this morn. or the hotel charge was for his afternoon delight with his girl in the same town the hotel is in........hum which do you think? he see a girl from work who lives in the town where his often motel 8 charges come from.........do you think the whore threw him out for the night or it was from his afternoon delight, lets put two and two together........

Jaycee

Aug 24 - 4PM
ShaynasMommy
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The most important thing is

The most important thing is that its not your problem anymore.
Aug 24 - 4PM
ShaynasMommy
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I don't know for sure, Jaycee

what the answer is to that one. But I can bet that the less supply you give him, the more he's likely to treat her like that. It frustrates them when they dont get their way. Then they have to take it out on somebody! I'll be willing to bet those "moods" of his you were talking about during your marriage happened right about the time he broke up with his other suppliers, or during a short dry spell of outside supply. Its like a drug addict. Theyre cool when they are high and mellowed out, all lovey dovey. But when they come back down, watch out! Mine was like that. When he and I broke up, he was the "nicest" he had been in a while because he was on a high due to the supply he was getting from his OW whore. But He got really grumpy when he realized I was slipping away from him forever. They have to have it all Damnit! Its what the world OWES them! LOL
Aug 24 - 5PM (Reply to #2)
jaycee
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i dont know for sure, jaycee

I dont know but he still does that to me if we are discussing the mortgage or our daughter and its an inconvenience for him, hes sweet as pie when its on his terms, but if i question him when its inconvenient for him he jumps down my throat screams like a maniac (thanks to all his illegal steriods) and his moody narcississm or whatever his pathology. hes a total psycho, and Im starting to get sick and tired of the way he treats me, when its about something important, such as our daughter or the mortgage. wonder if loves her up because just talking to me gives him supply, so i bet she doesnt get the bear like i do, but hoping she does, especially when hes tired, guess what, im never around when hes tired, he lives there. lol

Jaycee