Do daughters of Narc mothers choose Narc husbands?

It puzzles me, but there is definitely a tendency. I am so happy I got out of my N relationship before I got TRAPPED in a miserable life with him. My mom is definitely a passive aggressive narcissist, something I realized only after I got smart and started researching narcissism due to my ex and his disordered traits. It was really a big revelation in my life and completely turned me off - with the emotional abuse that I have experienced due to my mom - I distanced and deleted my N ex from my last as soon as he broke up with me. they both are the life of the parties - outgoing, constantly SELLING themselves or whatnot (a salesperson is a big N profession) and think everyone loves them and is jealous of them. Everything happens for a reason, like I said I am so happy I realized this before it was too late. I spent and wasted, yes wasted, 10 months of my life but I am such a stronger and better person because of it. A narcissist is a narcissist, it doesn't matter if it's your husband/boyfriend or parent, you have to deal with them the same way.

"well you married your mother" ;)

I have read numerous treatises on this subject over the past 8 months and there is some level of consensus indicating that we are more susceptible to Narcs based on our capacity for unconditional love. The theories mainly prescribe that narc daughters' capacity for unconditional is so great that we tend to endure and turn a blind eye to poor behaviour as we have been conditioned to have a skewed concept of what unconditional love is. We also evidently fail to be as assertive of what "we" want and focus more on the needs of others. Hence, we are ripe for the picking of a Narc ! I'm working on being more postively assertive in my own life ...and I might mention that my relationship with my Mum is entirely different now (I'm 44 and she is 70) to what it was when I was a hell raising and rebellious teenager ! I should also note that one of the most heinous and painful verbal tirades I have ever received from my ex-fiance was about 2 months ago - he accused me of demonstrating the mental instability of my mother and that he was not my belittled father ! My mother detested my ex-fiance ... many times I would sit on the bed and ruminate how his behaviour was like that of my mother many years ago ( for she has mellowed with age and onset dementia). My mother used to say that being around my ex was like walking on egg shells ... Best wishes to you in your journey forward ! Sandra

my father was a narcissist. i do believe it plays a huge part in the men we choose. cycle of abuse continues from when your a kid to the men you choose.

The answer to your question is, 100%, without a doubt, YES. Not only are the narcs who/what they are because of the effects of their parents parenting, we are who we are because of those effects as well. We appeal to the narc in every way shape or form, because we are "eager pleasers". Mind you, it does not mean that everyone on the forum fell victim to the narc BECAUSE one or both parents were narcs, there are numerous other reasons, BUT, if you had a narcissistic parent, and you are aware of this, than YES, this plays a very large part in it. Absolutely. And your therapist is correct with what she said about boundaries. Build them..........very important in your journey. Good luck and stay strong!

like you have a narc mother. I did too and mine is the same way...her way or the highway. I ended up being disowned by her 7 years ago after 31 years of her physically/verbally/emotionally abusing me. I was with narc husband #1 at the time. It was the best thing that could have happened in that situation. I was free to work on me, grow up, heal and do what makes me happy. Unfortunately, I fell back in to the "people-pleasing" pattern with other narcs in my life and it took a narc/psychopath husband (#2) to finally wake me up fully. Sounds like you have been on the same hamster wheel (hopefully minus the psychopath part). You chose him because he felt familiar to you - you basically married your mother. At this point, you have a choice to make. #1 - Get in therapy, work damn hard on yourself, wake up to the abuse in your childhood/early adult life and heal. Or #2 - marry narc #2, #3, #4 until you've had enough and step off the rollercoaster. I'm doing it. I hope you can too!

My mom had major narc traits but I don't believe she was a full blown npd. And every man I have ever had a relationship with has been a narc. Coincidence maybe, but highly doubt that.