Did your narc refuse intimacy with you?

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Jul 11 - 12AM (Reply to #5)
aceonelady
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TraumaMamma

Mine was exactly like that,and he was abused,so he told me...i do not know if i believe him.I was abused ,but i do not act like that.Maybe is a combination abuse with neurological issues...like Bordrline and aNarcissism...

Aceonelady

Jul 11 - 12AM (Reply to #6)
TraumaMamma
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Hmmm

I had often wondered. His relationship with his family seemed to be very strained too. He claims they ostracized him....now, I am not sure sure he wasn't the problem child. I know he put his stepfather in ICU when he was almost 18 and put a guy at a car accident in ICU that hit his car who got out of line, too when he got in Narcs face. I'm glad I didn't stick around. I had never seen anyone recoil at a touch before. Awake or in the middle of the night. Or critize my lovemaking out the gate, that I am intense out of the gate. And that he had to eat aspirin before every session, practically and was too tired for sex in general and couldn't maintain an erection. Man, what a confidence killer for me. I gave up some primo beef cake for him and I kicked myself in the booty for it for 11 wks, I tell you. Mr Beefy didn't want a relationship, but he was an awesome friend and we were swinging from the chandeliers. Lesson learned. DOH!

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.' --Mary Anne Radmache

Jul 10 - 11PM
aceonelady
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Intimacy...none

Please read my story....Mine lives in the USA me Holland.After me getting there(Tulsa)he had sex with me 2 times,in avery fast porn manner,(got ED)the first time wouldn't finish the second was about just 5 minutes,very mechanical...24 hours later the D&D started...i was there for 2 months and i wasn't alloud to touch him,if i went to hold his arm walkig to the car,he would pull me away and say do not touch me...he told me f*****g me was gross,i was disgusting.I said,well i will go back to Europe then...i was devasted...he said see,you are not getting what you want so you are leaving me...i will nevercontact you again if you do so,because friends do not leave like that...so i did stay...and i am traumatized through this day...When somebody tells me i am goodlooking,i breakdown and cried...And i hear that a lot...Is been 2 years ,i felt ugly,undesirable ...i waited 1 year to go to him,i knew he had some issues but i felt sorry for him...he has no money,no friends,3 kids that he only seeswhen he brings the child support money,his daughter went to the police and said hedid something to her...he destroys anyone within his range...incluiding himself.i got 2 years therapy but still my anguish is here...i am since a year working out at the Gym,and that really is helping me to get a glimpse of who i was....I am not that reject he made me feel like.He touched me 2 times in 2 days when i got there,in a very degrading way...and after that he just pushed and pull,gaslighting,checking out other women at the supeermarket,getting strange phone calls,telling meif he would pass me by on the street he would't give me a second look...and this men was the one i helped,loved,and thought he was at least my friend...a month ago he sent me an email saying sorry about the goofy insults towards me,and that he will stay alone and die alone because nobody can put up with him and a new relationship will only end like we did...And the worst thing is were the insinuations that he maybe was curious about being with men,then he would say he was kidding,then comments about young school girls...i went to hell and still not totally back but i will...i am changed,i am NC because everything that comes from him is pain and junk...he is EVIL....his own kids and ex girlfriend and mother are also traumatized...THEY ARE TRULY EVIL AND NEVER CHANGE....

Aceonelady

Jul 10 - 11PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Indifference

Keep reading, withholding sex! One word "CONTROL" Hunter
Jul 10 - 11PM
Puzzle
Puzzle's picture

Mine was a total sex addict,

Mine was a total sex addict, but early on in the relationship he used to use sex as a power mechanism. If I had said or done something minor that he didn't like or disagreed with him he would turn me away when I tried to pull the moves on him. It used to make me feel more insecure like I he wasn't attracted to me. They do that to make us feel like shit. It is the whole gaining power over our feelings, just another form of mind control.