Did your N try to trick you by playing these games?

He did it. Because he could. And because he is a colossal asshole. lol Once you get out of the narc-fog...things really just boil down to the fact that these people are just assholes. They get off on hurting others...because they can. And yes...my ex N from last year used to say things like...'so, uh...did you get any texts from guys today?' or 'if you get texts you'd tell me right?' Translation: ''I'm a liar, and I want to see if you are one, too. I'm getting texts from women, and I am talking to other women besides you, but I want to see if you are, too.'' Another translation: ''I want to start a fight, make you upset...make you yell at me...then ignore you for yelling at me, then I will give you the silent treatment.''

Yes..yes and yes. Or I'd get off the phone from talking to my dad. And he'd say," Who was that?" (as an accusation) I'd say,"My dad." He'd say," No it wasn't...I heard you...who was that?" I used to try and REASON with him...convince him he was wrong about me. Normally now I just treat him like the village idiot. But if I have to I've reverted to the premise,"Be good to me and I'll be better to you...be bad to me and I'll be worse to you." I make it so that it isn't worth it for him to start something. I simply push back so hard he couldn't handle me. It's quite exhausting. I answer his rock throwing with a nuclear bomb. I make sure I put his tail between his legs.

Mine played games, but he was more covert. Every single thing that he said was designed to get me to leave my husband and be with him. He was going to leave me. He was going to stay with me forever. He was going to date other women. He was going back to his ex wife. We were sinning. God wanted us together. God didn't want us together. He was going to meet with his Pastor, and then he would never be able to contact me again. He was going to cc his ex wife on our emails, and she would help him fight me, help him keep the evil away. He actually did cc her on an email where he said we were over, and he asked me never to contact him again. Then, he continued to pursue me, and pressure me to make a decision before he went back with her and got involved with her again. He played so many mind games with me that I had forgotten about that email. When I remembered and called him on it, he got angry and said I should have remembered that he had access to her email account, of course he had gone in and erased it. So every single thing he said to me was a lie. I never knew what he was truly feeling, since any feeling he expressed was expressed for the sole purpose of winning me. I was just a prize, an object that he was trying to win. hate to think what he would do with me.

Projection! Hunter

mine would ask specific questions set up to make me fail. he would ask in way where t response he wanted to hear was me disagreeing w his opinion. I posted an inspirational quote on fb and he acted distant for 2 days before asking me if the change I was referring to had anythinh to do w him. I went to a party and joked w him about being so drunk I took my bra off holy shit I felt t wrath from that comment for weeks. he said that wasnt serious gf behavior that me getting home at 5 am was unacceptable and if I neefed a ride I should have called him. Whats funny is I found out thru seeing a text on his phone that he also went to a party that night, sans me. oh when I think of t games and double standards and thepassive agressiveness I want to scream!!!!!

We broke up for 4 months, years ago and i went on a date for coffee and met a guy,no big deal, told him about it some months later after we reconnected , he won me over again, and he asked what i did with my time and told him i posted an ad on a free website and met a man for coffee, and he always held that against me, it is what their sick minds do, he tried to make me look like i was cheating on him and that was a lie, we were finished at the time.

It's textbook Narc behavior and it's called projection. You can be fairly certain that everything he was accusing you of, he was doing. I didn't realize this before I started learning about the disorder, and just felt horrible and was constantly trying to reassure him of my feelings. xoxo Lynn

not so much about cheating or flirting but just about everything else. I read somewhere that they use real or imagined allies to backup claims or arguments. It's just all part of the manipulation and control I think. Just more of their "crazy making" crap. Mine sometimes would even go as far as to tell exactly who told him this or that. If I said I was going to confront this person then he'd turn that all around too. Twist it all up and say that was just me starting something or creating drama or making his life difficult. blah, blah, blah, blah....