If you did ANYTHING loving or kind for your N...would he accuse you of not doing this nice thing for him but doing it so that you would get somethng out of it!!!!!!!! WTH is that??????
Any gift I gave him he said it was for me and not him. So stupid and crazy! Never a thank you! Never an I'm sorry! Never anything from my N. I hate him!
Whenever I did ANYTHING kind/compassionate for my ex-P professor, he'd snidely say that I was doing it to make myself feel good. Very bizarre. If I was nice to him, he said it was for me, not him. Then he'd do the fake humility thing, like he was so undeserving and somehow I deigned to shower him with kindness.
Turns out he had the undeserving part right.
Same here--no thank you's, no apologies.
My ex-Psychopath professor began our "relationship" with the crazy-making.
He told me he'd be writing a book about Wittgenstein and Augustine. I told my friends, he interrogated them, and then went around calling me crazy. He returns my favor by trying to turn my classmates against me. He had overplayed his hand, and it backfired on him.
His lecture about Wittgenstein was popular, thanks to me... and he'd give me the Evil Eye when he was making copies, and complained about making FOURTEEN COPIES. Now that I'm a freelance writer, I'm all about the importance of good publicity. Thanks for paving the way, Psychopath.
He was afraid that I was saying bad things about him behind his back... turns out that was EXACTLY what he was doing to me. He turned my former lab partner against me, when we were almost friends... a tragic sidenote, she died early last year, for reasons unknown. He was paranoid about being mocked--yet he was the MOST ridiculed professor.
When a fellow professor told him that I was singing his praises, he threw a total fit.
I've never seen such paranoia. At the beginning, I remember asking him, "Why are you punishing me for being nice to you?"
If i asked him something simple, like "would you like a sandwich," he wouldn't say yes or no until he had asked me why I offered. Was it because I wanted to do it, was it because I thought it was what I was supposed to do? I would stnad there, like "duh, I was trying to be nice and offer you some food. I don't get a gold-star for it, it's called a loving action!"
I bought some special cookies for him, knowing that he liked them. When he saw them, he wanted to know why I bought them. "Cuz I know you like them." "yeah but why?" "cuz I LOVE YOU." Nonsensical...
I would do nice things all the time.. but i always got the feeling it was never enough...
At first, as we all know, it's all fine, just too good to be true..
But after a year it all seemed i could never do enough and looking back it was all about her. Her expectations seemed to get higher and higher...
Of course it was never enough if you're with an N. Just as I would make it over a hurdle he would make the hurdle higher or advise that the hurdle I just jumped was not the right one or deny ever making a hurdle in the first place. Oy.
When i told him it was very sad i made a 10.000 mile trip from Europe to Tulsa Oklahoma to be with him and being abused like that,he said:No darling,you did it for yourself....That says enough....
It's called Projection.
Whatever he accused you of doing or not doing was most likely always projection. My ex-N#1 did it all the time.
They assume that everyone's motives are as nefarious as their own.
So now you have a peek into his mind. Now you know that any time he did anything nice for you, he was really doing it for his own gain.
"They assume that everyone's motives are as nefarious as their own"
i think this is very true!! a few times i caught him saying absurd things and thinking uhh noo...thats you. like... he accused me of having people on the side, which is retarded because i still have noone because im obssessed with him. however he did. he also said i kept a account of the money i spend on him, which is again retarded because i have spend so much but now i do know he kept count of how much he spend.
Actually, it was me who would say this to him. He was very nice when he wanted sex from me. After sex-he would return to his selfish ways. It was so predicable.
well he would say to me things like..."you didn't do that ______ (nice thing) for me. You did that for you gigi9. i have never felt you love me or do things for me that were authentic" And I would be like...WTH.....I was NEVER appreciated and no matter how hard I tried to love him.....NOTHING was ever done right or was NEVER enough and he ALWAYS found ways to remind me of this through comments such as that or through the silent treatment...arrrrrrggggggghhhhh
Any gift I gave him he said
Same here
All the time
alot of weird remarks
She was very subtle...
Of course it was never
projection2
Aceonelady
projection
Aceonelady
It's called
"They assume that everyone's
gigi9
well he would say to me