Did your N also do this???????................

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#1 Jul 6 - 10PM
gigi9
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Did your N also do this???????................

If you did ANYTHING loving or kind for your N...would he accuse you of not doing this nice thing for him but doing it so that you would get somethng out of it!!!!!!!! WTH is that??????

Jul 7 - 8PM
Happy1
Happy1's picture

Any gift I gave him he said

Any gift I gave him he said it was for me and not him. So stupid and crazy! Never a thank you! Never an I'm sorry! Never anything from my N. I hate him!
Jul 7 - 9PM (Reply to #12)
Susan32
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Same here

Whenever I did ANYTHING kind/compassionate for my ex-P professor, he'd snidely say that I was doing it to make myself feel good. Very bizarre. If I was nice to him, he said it was for me, not him. Then he'd do the fake humility thing, like he was so undeserving and somehow I deigned to shower him with kindness. Turns out he had the undeserving part right. Same here--no thank you's, no apologies.
Jul 7 - 7PM
Susan32
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All the time

My ex-Psychopath professor began our "relationship" with the crazy-making. He told me he'd be writing a book about Wittgenstein and Augustine. I told my friends, he interrogated them, and then went around calling me crazy. He returns my favor by trying to turn my classmates against me. He had overplayed his hand, and it backfired on him. His lecture about Wittgenstein was popular, thanks to me... and he'd give me the Evil Eye when he was making copies, and complained about making FOURTEEN COPIES. Now that I'm a freelance writer, I'm all about the importance of good publicity. Thanks for paving the way, Psychopath. He was afraid that I was saying bad things about him behind his back... turns out that was EXACTLY what he was doing to me. He turned my former lab partner against me, when we were almost friends... a tragic sidenote, she died early last year, for reasons unknown. He was paranoid about being mocked--yet he was the MOST ridiculed professor. When a fellow professor told him that I was singing his praises, he threw a total fit. I've never seen such paranoia. At the beginning, I remember asking him, "Why are you punishing me for being nice to you?"
Jul 7 - 1PM
querida
querida's picture

alot of weird remarks

If i asked him something simple, like "would you like a sandwich," he wouldn't say yes or no until he had asked me why I offered. Was it because I wanted to do it, was it because I thought it was what I was supposed to do? I would stnad there, like "duh, I was trying to be nice and offer you some food. I don't get a gold-star for it, it's called a loving action!" I bought some special cookies for him, knowing that he liked them. When he saw them, he wanted to know why I bought them. "Cuz I know you like them." "yeah but why?" "cuz I LOVE YOU." Nonsensical...
Jul 7 - 7AM
imabloke
imabloke's picture

She was very subtle...

I would do nice things all the time.. but i always got the feeling it was never enough... At first, as we all know, it's all fine, just too good to be true.. But after a year it all seemed i could never do enough and looking back it was all about her. Her expectations seemed to get higher and higher...
Jul 7 - 5PM (Reply to #8)
awayfromhim
awayfromhim's picture

Of course it was never

Of course it was never enough if you're with an N. Just as I would make it over a hurdle he would make the hurdle higher or advise that the hurdle I just jumped was not the right one or deny ever making a hurdle in the first place. Oy.
Jul 6 - 11PM
aceonelady
aceonelady's picture

projection2

Well and about the abuse he gave me he said...Thats what you get for being an asshole....

Aceonelady

Jul 6 - 11PM
aceonelady
aceonelady's picture

projection

When i told him it was very sad i made a 10.000 mile trip from Europe to Tulsa Oklahoma to be with him and being abused like that,he said:No darling,you did it for yourself....That says enough....

Aceonelady

Jul 6 - 11PM
girlfriday
girlfriday's picture

It's called

It's called Projection. Whatever he accused you of doing or not doing was most likely always projection. My ex-N#1 did it all the time. They assume that everyone's motives are as nefarious as their own. So now you have a peek into his mind. Now you know that any time he did anything nice for you, he was really doing it for his own gain.
Jul 6 - 11PM (Reply to #4)
broken23
broken23's picture

"They assume that everyone's

"They assume that everyone's motives are as nefarious as their own" i think this is very true!! a few times i caught him saying absurd things and thinking uhh noo...thats you. like... he accused me of having people on the side, which is retarded because i still have noone because im obssessed with him. however he did. he also said i kept a account of the money i spend on him, which is again retarded because i have spend so much but now i do know he kept count of how much he spend.
Jul 6 - 10PM
enoughalready
enoughalready's picture

gigi9

Actually, it was me who would say this to him. He was very nice when he wanted sex from me. After sex-he would return to his selfish ways. It was so predicable.
Jul 6 - 10PM (Reply to #2)
gigi9
gigi9's picture

well he would say to me

well he would say to me things like..."you didn't do that ______ (nice thing) for me. You did that for you gigi9. i have never felt you love me or do things for me that were authentic" And I would be like...WTH.....I was NEVER appreciated and no matter how hard I tried to love him.....NOTHING was ever done right or was NEVER enough and he ALWAYS found ways to remind me of this through comments such as that or through the silent treatment...arrrrrrggggggghhhhh