Did you ever get a "creeped out feeling" about them during the relationship?

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May 9 - 9PM (Reply to #25)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture


my NarcMother was a long time patient of Mayo. I don't care how credible they are - I believe they helped hasten her death and staged a huge cover-up after she passed. Narcissists CAN NOT BE CURED. Nope. Nada. Mayo is a money-making machine who's credibility is bought by their sizeable donations to the AMA and so on. NARCISSISTS are incurable and any psychologist, psychiatrist and so on who isn't looking to just make money on an incurable, will tell you so. You can NOT fix what wasn't right in the first place. And you certainly can NOT fix what is NOT human. Being 'narcissistic' and being NPD are 2 different things. ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 6 - 9PM
aceonelady's picture


I had a very strange feeling when he sent me a picture of him the second one he sent me,he had his had half turned on it,looked into the camera with steel cold eyes...he had his blue work clothing(he is a maintenance man in Housing)i thoughhe looks like a convict that you see in those jail movies...gave me the creeps...i waved that away saying to myself i have being watching too any movies....To be honest ,i have had a lot of "premonitions"while with him.it was a long distance relationship in the start,but even now,i am NC for 40 days and i still feel very strong connections about what is going on with him....when i said i will stop calling you he said yeah,right....He doesn't believe i can,and seems like he expects me to call....But i won't...


May 6 - 8PM
Kelly's picture

Yes . . .

He gave me the strangest look one night. Turned to face me in bed with a Mr. Hyde face and said, "Anything else for the suggestion box." So weird . . . I wanted to run at that moment, but instead I closed my eyes and pretended as though it never happened.
May 6 - 7PM
Susan32's picture

My friends and his colleagues were creeped out

One of my friends described my future ex-N as "the Devil." He creeped people out. He also liked being compared to Jack Nicholson's character in "The Shining." His emotionlessness, his disdain for humanity... it creeped people out.
May 11 - 6PM (Reply to #15)
helldweller's picture

The Devil

Four separate people have now independently referred to my N as "The Devil." Strong name, to say the least. I don't think I've ever heard anyone call ANYONE that before in my life, except politically.
May 11 - 8PM (Reply to #16)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

the Devil...

http://howtospotadangerousman.blogspot.com/2008/10/soul-slayer-psychological-evil.html ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 6 - 7PM (Reply to #2)
Amazed's picture

This brings up a good point,,,,

When they are "emotionless",,,,you can see the steel heart within,,you almost catch it when they think you are not looking at them,,or when they are sick of acting,,,,
May 6 - 9PM (Reply to #14)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

steel heart

you mean the gaping void where a heart should be ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 6 - 8PM (Reply to #11)
Susan32's picture

He didn't even try to show emotion

My ex-N was BIG into Wittgenstein. Wittgenstein once said that practicing philosophy means renouncing emotion... and my ex-N took it literally. He didn't even TRY showing emotion. He didn't even ACT. So he creeped people out. One of his colleagues called him "different"--and that was being charitable. He was flattered when I told him that my friends deemed him an emotionless robot ("Terminator" is one of his favorite films) or a monster. Now THAT made him ecstatic.
May 6 - 8PM (Reply to #12)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture


he didn't take it literally - yours simply used it an excuse for not being CAPABLE of feeling anything. That's all. He didn't take it anywhere - he already WAS like that. ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 6 - 8PM (Reply to #13)
Susan32's picture

Wittgenstein:The Passionate Philosopher

Ludwig Wittgenstein was actually a decent human being (you heard it, human being!) He was a nurse during WWII, and he was a passionate, creative man. So full of emotions he chased Karl Popper with a hot poker(!!) He was often on the verge of committing suicide (because two of his brothers did) At the time, I thought my ex-N was using it as a BS excuse as well, and called him on it.
May 6 - 8PM (Reply to #3)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture


yes I had them with Psycho-Boy all the time he got me to override them totally with NLP & brainwashing ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 6 - 8PM (Reply to #4)
hitandrun's picture

Only twice

Once when he turned into a total robot evil thing after I called him a p*ssy earlier in the evening when he cow-towed to his family. He did this right before sex and refused to have sex with me. He looked like pure evil. Also, a few times when we were alone and he'd been drinking(he did this on the phone a couple of times too)he would state,very matter of factly, over and over how much he hated people. I thought he was just being drunk...now I know better. Most of the time, he seemed like a dream come true instead of the nightmare he really IS.
May 6 - 8PM (Reply to #5)
Susan32's picture

Robot Monster

My ex-N probably was vegetarian because he hated humans, not because he loved animals. He had a fetish about meat eaters dying hideously from mad cow disease. My ex-N would glare at me if I dared to compliment him behind his back... he gave me the "Evil Eye" when a colleague of his said I was "singing his praises." Then there were rumors of him being alcoholic...
May 7 - 12PM (Reply to #9)
better off
better off's picture

You know, I've thought about

You know, I've thought about you saying that before... and I'm not exactly sure that's what he was actually pissed about, the "singing his praises." It was the fact that he was bullshitting you about his grand book he was writing (that has never appeared) and you were telling people about it. When he was just full of shit. So he claimed he got mad at you for complimenting him. He's not as mysterious as you think, if you would just see him for the simply pathetic con man he is. He's just a frickin' con.
May 7 - 5PM (Reply to #10)
Susan32's picture

Don't worry,he knows

3 years after the D&D, I sent him a BLUNT postcard, telling him to grow a backbone, a heart, and a BRAIN--and I called him a "con man." Guess who was on the postcard? Ludwig Wittgenstein. The hand of iron in the velvet glove. Be sure to watch the movie "An Education",in which an older man (Peter Sarsgaard) romances a young girl (Carey Mulligan). Sarsgaard's character, David... is a con man. Reading the screenplay got me in tears, esp. toward the end. SO DAMN FAMILIAR!!!!
May 6 - 9PM (Reply to #6)
hitandrun's picture


Oh my exNarc-Spath IS an alcoholic and so is his whole family! I've been guilty of some modern maenad behavior,but their whole life revolved around alcohol.
May 6 - 9PM (Reply to #7)
Susan32's picture

Neither confirm nor deny

Some of my ex-N's students thought drunkenness accounted for his constant complaints about not getting enough sleep, wearing dark John Lennon glasses, bloodshot eyes,and his weird rambling monologues. Since his eyes were so dark (naturally),it was hard to tell if they were bloodshot. And I never did get close enough to smell alcohol on his breath. A LOT of my friends at that time simply wrote him off as a mean drunk.
May 7 - 10AM (Reply to #8)
livewpsycobabble's picture

OMG! Yes!

There have been many over the years. Two that stand out in my mind are once (before I knew what I was dealing with) we were in a disagreement and he said; "If you expect me to grow up that will never happen." The other was not so very long ago (after I understood what he is) he was trying to get me to argue with him. I was ignorning his butt and I turned around to see him staring at me. He was staring at me but he wasn't seeing me. I swear his brown eyes were black and his face was stone. I said; "Yes dear?" He blinked and gave his head a little shake, put on that little boy smile and said; "Oh, nothing." Gads! Made my skin crawl.