Did the narc like what you liked??

It was fake, a way to get you to bond with him. And it saved him from thinking about what to do next - he could just hop on the bandwagon. My N and I actually did enjoy doing the same things - being outside, going to live music, camping, etc. Of course, I liked doing them with him and I guess he would have been perfectly happy to have anyone sitting there fawning all over him like I did.

Even though we both really liked sports and animals he would make a point of saying I did not share any of his interests and therefore he did not need to include me in plans. He also took no interest in my hobbies and gave me no support in anything I did.

was just the opposite, i got to like new hobbies thanks to him, things i never realized i liked but I do remember my saying 'isn't it nice we like to do the same things' and he said, 'well that is just because you like to do what I like to do, it was always all about him.........

Ha! He made attempts to act interested in my hobbies. But if he couldn't compete he'd blow them off and say they just weren't his style. I'd like to say we shared no common interests other than sex. And thank god cos he had no interests other than football, masturbating, porn and lying through his teeth.

NOPE-he made it a point to tell me that i was not his usual type. so no...he didnt like what i did... but then again it was ALL about him now wasnt it. and he really was just a loser who didnt like to stray far from his house.

No he didn't like anything that I liked. He was always making sure to make it clear to me how much he dislikes the things that I like. Except for the clothes I wear, he could always approve of them. Unless they were new. He would make a mean remark first but then later he would say he likes it a lot. Weird.

Unfortunately NO We have a huge age gap (20 years) and of a totally different culture background (different race).

Wizards, chameleons and cannibals - Narcs are often able to morph into whoever and whatever helps them get primary supply. They mirror others to gain supply and then frequently move on for more either putting you in the back seat (secondary) or completely discarding you. Their dishonesty starts in their own head. I had to understand narcissism before I could understand me, then I was able to work on ME to heal. Hang in there. The fog will clear and things get better.

I can't say he liked what I liked but I can say that he would lie so much he couldn't keep straight what he liked or did not like. At the beginning of our relationship he expressed to me how he couldn't stand a particular seafood restaurant, which I loved but did not tell him that. 2 years later driving down the highway he says lets grab some dinner and pulls in the parking lot of the same seafood restaurant that he couldn't stand. I say "I didn't know you like to eat here, I can't believe we've never been". He says oh I love it! I've noticed things like that on several other occassions. He would tell me oh don't use this gas, or I don't like this product and months later there he would be endulging. I learned that they lie and say the first stupid thing that comes to mind to keep your attention off figuring them out even if it is their like or dislike of what you like.

Music was definitely the one thing that jumps out at me. I remember the first time he was over my place, I had music on in the background and there was a song on that I LOVED, but it wasn't really well known. I know I hadn't said outloud that I liked the song, but he perked up and said, "Hey, I have this song too! I love it." In that moment, I thought we "bonded" a little bit... (gag) All the other stuff that I told him I was interested in, he didn't do when I was with him, but he would always reflect back to a time he had done it - and well of course!

In the beginning, YUP...and if I asked him first and he realized my answer was different, he shifted his reply. Then over time, there was NOTHING we agreed on. Similarly, anything he complained or worried about (like money or a work situation or his kids), I would spend an inordinate amount of time reassuring him. When things turned out fine or better than fine, he brushed it off and STILL complained about it. I realized he was a bottomless pit of self pity and that was the beginning of the heavier devaluing phase....