Did I give myself closure??, Unpainfully confused

Ok dears I really dont know where to start. I do know I have to get this out. As I said on my original post, it has been too difficult for me to accomplish NC and eventhough your words have helped me a lot, havent been strong enough. These days we have msged randomly, of course there was a lot of DDing and conversations were he didnt say goodbye or answered my last msg. Today he contacted me asking me to go to shift with him cuz there was barely any work and he was bored(basically needed to use me), actually I was bored too and wanted to do something. Anyway I was there, after a month of not seeing each other personally. I felt awkward at first and at times anxious because I didnt know what to do with myself , but he has a great ability to make ppl comfortable around him so by the end of the night I was feeling comfortable talking to him. He made a lot of innapropiate sexual comments of course, because our relationship was mostly sexual, and as I always do I didnt act offended :S. He tried touching me softly and in a sexual kinda way but I stopped him and turned the conversation around, suprisingly I didnt cave to his touch and his charm, because the last encounters I did.This time I actually DDed him and tried to show him his dysfunctional narcissistic traits, and eventhough he is happy with them I felt comfortable telling him those things to his face without any fear or selfconciousness. This encounter was fluent, we treated each other as friends, obviously he is never going to be a good friend of mine because of his total lack of empathy. I think with my attitude I showed him I was over him, eventhough I am not. The awful thing is that eventhough I dont feel comfortable with myself around him, I like his company and our shallow stupid conversations. We definately have little mental and emotional connection, but since I dont have any male friends, I enjoy talking about nothing with him. I think thats even worse, because before at least it was just sexual and a little friendship but now its attracion and friendship. Also I still find his attitudes and his way of carring himself very attractive. Right now I dont feel any pain, I dont crave for his msgs, and I feel a scary peace inside. And its scary because it might turn around and tomorrow I might feel totally devastated because I saw him, knowing he doesnt and never did want anything serious with me. But then I say, I dont want to be with someone that first doesnt make me feel comfortable with myself and second DDs me and shows me I am never going to be good enough for his standards... I knew this but I still wanted him. I really dont know what to think right now, I just wish I made this my closure, and that I wont crave him anymore.... :S, has this situation happened to any of you??? and how did u feel afterwards???
Thanks in advance for your support, it has helped me a lot to know I am not the only one...