Did he ever say "I love you" during sex?

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#1 Feb 23 - 6PM
Lookonthesunnyside
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Did he ever say "I love you" during sex?

My ex did once in the year and a half that we were sleeping together. I remember feeing sooo special and flattered, it was not like him at all. I had actually never viewed it as a problem since Im not the mushiest sex person either, but I told my best friend this and she was SHOCKED.

Of course it was after this point that sex became increasingly more dirty and porno like, but he said this almost half way through our relationship, not in the beginning stages.

Did your narc ever say it during sex? And do you ladies find that other men you had been in a serious relationship with had said it during sex? Just curious.

Feb 25 - 7AM
midnight7
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The xN never said anything at

The xN never said anything at all during sex - he was always completely silent - creepy.
Feb 25 - 7AM
MMcCann
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Never during sex

He never said it during sex and only told me I was beautiful once during our 7 years together. After we broke up, he claimed he said it all the time but I "wasn't listening". More blame shifting....
Feb 24 - 9PM
MountainLady
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Mine never said he loved me

Mine never said he loved me during sex. But he said it all the time after sex. He never made the first move, never told me he wanted me. I had to initiate sex every single time. At first, I didn't mind - the sex was so great. But after a while, I could tell something was missing. There was no passion from him, he never lost control, his breathing hardly changed. Never french-kissed me. Never responded to little nighties and I looked good in them. Making love was like a mission to him. All about satisfying me. If I tried to do something for him, he wouldn't let me. I realize now that he never wanted to show me that I had any effect on him sexually. It was demeaning and de-valuing. It worked, after a while I felt very ugly & unwanted.
Feb 24 - 9PM (Reply to #22)
MountainLady
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P.S.

I think he told me he loved me after sex because of my response to his love-making. He always satisfied me and it was that attention from me that he loved. It was just another Narcissistic Source of Supply. There was no Love in the act itself. Just the attention he got from it.
Feb 24 - 9PM
ruby01 (not verified)
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Nope

Nope. Impossible for him to say that word ever.
Feb 24 - 9PM
ordinarycourage
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NO

not once...
Feb 24 - 7PM
SundaySmile
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ONLY

three times. I became acutely aware and subsequently panicked because of his proclivity to rough, devaluing sex. I asked him to say it. I was afraid of the lack of true intimacy overall. In and out of bed.
Feb 24 - 6AM
velvet2012
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I am not sure my man is a

I am not sure my man is a narcissist although some of the behaviours he had seem to correspond to the description. I was hoping this part would help me clarify but I see that both are possible. My man would always say I love you when we made love. In fact there was no other word used than making love. Hopefully I will have other indications that could clarify whether he is one or not.
Feb 23 - 11PM
D.
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He said it twice. Once in the

He said it twice. Once in the first year of the relationship and once earlier this year which was really bizarre. He was suddenly a completely different person. In that moment I felt very uncomfortable and realized I did not love him in that way at all (nor does he-- c'mon who was he trying to fool--himself or me!?) There has been too much verbal and ambient abuse for me to feel that kind of intimacy with him. I can't wait to leave.... There was a time he could have turned it all around. I let him know dozens of times he was on the edge, the point of no return.
Feb 23 - 8PM
Phoenix72
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Mine did several times during

Mine did several times during sex, would even say "make love" several times and told me he loved me alot as well. Makes me wonder if he is an N or if he is borderline. He didn't say those things at times he needed to manipulate, he was already/or had already received what he wanted whether it was adoration, attention or whatever supply. Hmmmm....
Feb 23 - 7PM
Sparrow
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Never.

Never.
Feb 23 - 6PM
onwithmylife
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never

said that to me during sex, other compliments but never that, he did say it to me when we talked on the phone and I said I love you and then he would say I love you, all words,no action, what a phony man......
Feb 23 - 6PM
wsh
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Say I love you during sex??

HELL NO! He never said I love you EVER! At least not AFTER the wedding! Didn't say/do anything during sex to indicate he even knew I was there. In the beginning sex was......how can I put this?.........."animated".....at least I didn't feel like I did AFTER THE WEDDING.....& I mean within a few weeks of the wedding it was like I could be anybody. I was just a "body" that he was using to masturbate with. No words, no sounds of any kind. Most of the time no kisses, no caresses, gave "slam/bam/thank you ma'am" a whole new meaning! But this is also the same guy who taught me what "sleep rape" was (never knew before) and after he did this a 2nd time, I moved out of the bedroom. This, plus the porn, checking out women everywhere we went, it all made me so sick I totally turned off. (everything I've read here about Madonna/Whore explains it!)
Feb 23 - 6PM
needing2know
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Never heard it at all! The

Never heard it at all! The only time he would even say "love you" never I love you, is if I said it first, he NEVER said those words first ever! During sex he would keep his eyes close and didn't make a sound! He told me he HATES THE MUSHY STUFF! When I dated non narcs they were very loving and always said I love you during sex, always very attentive, even out of bed. I am still good friends withe them and we talk often. The ex narc , about 3 yrs into our relationshit started forcing sex acts on me and he didn't even care how he hurt me! It was all about him getting his rocks off, but would tell me I had to be pleased first! I lied all the time, just to get him off of me! He sucks so bad in bed and as time went on he got worse(if that's even possible) he NEVER french kissed, always just pecks on the lips cheek. In the very beginning, the first time we had sex he went off as soon as he made contact lolI thought to myself "OH HELL NO" lol but the third and fourth time he was very attentive and it was good, but after that can you say "EPIC FAIL"!!!! I made a comment to him once and said " I know you can be very loving and caring, I seen it " he looked at me and said " well I better make sure it never happens again" I thought what an ass, but knowing what I know now, I get it! He will NEVER know the real thing ever, like I know it.
Feb 23 - 6PM
Movingforwardnow
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hmmmmmmm

now that you mention it mine only said "I love you" when he wanted me to participate in his sexual perversions. That's when I got the most "love" and attention. FREAK! And, of course, I participated cuz I soooooo badly wanted to be loved. Hello.....movingforwardnow that is NOT love. I was just confused for a bit but I am on the Path Forward now, no more tricking me! :)
Feb 23 - 6PM
HelpMeHeal
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Always....

He said it every time. If it wasn't a boatload of bullshit, I'd describe how intimate and beautiful our connection was. It never turned freaky or weird. He would also correct me if I used any term other than "making love" to describe our sex life. "We don't (blank), we make love." Ummmmmm..... Whatever you say!
Feb 23 - 6PM (Reply to #9)
Lookonthesunnyside
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Hahaha I lol'd at this one!

Hahaha I lol'd at this one! Who knew narcs were so sensitive??? Jks God mine never said make love! It was f*cking 98% of the time. Pervy perv
Feb 23 - 6PM
Hunter
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Mine said " I Love You"

Mine said " I Love You" morning noon and night.. Sex ,no sex.. All the time.. What good did it do?? Hunter
Feb 24 - 2PM (Reply to #7)
spinning
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Same here, Hunter....

said it, wrote it in notes, sex, no sex, texted it, said it ad naseum. In his world, love equaled pain. That's what I learned from all of his "I love yous." If that was love, I'll pass... xoxox (not) spinning. NEVER AGAIN!

spinning

Feb 23 - 6PM (Reply to #6)
Krooks
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mine too ... Called me his

mine too ... Called me his "goddess" and would come up with all sorts of "endearing" expressions of affection ... followed inevitably by how inept I was and how I caused all of the problems in our would-be-perfect-but-for-me relationship (be it outright if he sensed I was pulling away or indirectly with some other sort of sick jab at me). ... I wish I never heard it because "I love you" and all the rest meant NOTHING to him. No actually, not nothing - it was another tool in his arsenal of ways to keep me stuck in an abusive relationship with a psycho. Words he also wanted to coax out of me to know that he still had me under his thumb.
Feb 23 - 6PM (Reply to #5)
HelpMeHeal
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Ditto Hunter

All day every day. Complete bullshit.
Feb 23 - 6PM (Reply to #2)
Lookonthesunnyside
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True! Doesnt change the fact

True! Doesnt change the fact that they are dangerous aholes. Just curious if most men express loving emotions during sex? Maybe its a bad sign that I even need to ask that...ha Im not sure.
Feb 24 - 4AM (Reply to #3)
Snowflake
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Yeah

but mainly when he could see he was 'losing' me.. or when he wanted to get two women for me to 'do me' while he gave instructions..he said you know I love you though and you can trust me. I got out before it got that far..
Feb 24 - 7PM (Reply to #4)
missym
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He never said "i love you"

He never said "i love you" during sex....or "making love" which I never heard him say. He might sometimes say "love you" after I would say it. But....never in the act, or tell me anything - that I looked beautiful or any other comment. Prick. He was a complete somatic narc - from the beginning....rather beat off with my body as a tool. Freaks.