Did anyone feel like this after seeing the Narc?

I still love the Narc, even though I know it's a dead end. I am making it so I don't see him ever. It is exhausting, confusing and whatever else.

i felt so exhausted after i'd spend time with him. not from lack of sleep at all. just the walking on eggshells, the never knowing his mood and when it would change, the rages, the lies, i couldn't relax. he critisized me all the time, so that in itself wears you down. they need so much, and suck all you have to give out, so yes, that feeling is something i bet every single on of us experienced.

After the honeymoon. I tried so hard that I feel tired still. Not to mention 10 yrs older. It is just not natural to be fill anyone elses needs. Yes, kids but that is draining too.

I identify with this post completely. I met the N online, and he said he did not want to meet someone who drained his energy. Well, he has drained mine to the point I have no fight left in me. He talked incessantly (obviously about himself :o) ) ... then complained that I had talked him out. He said I didn't know how to enjoy myself, then complained when we went out for a walk that there was no purpose to where we were going! I said it was nice just looking at the scenery, and then I got the silent treatment, so I kept quiet too and he said he found me draining because I had no conversation. AAAAArrrgh, just remembering that makes me feel sick. I am not naturally tidy, my house is lived in, but I had to take days off work before he turned up just to make sure everything was put away (and also because he would rootle through my cupboards whilst complaining that I was monitoring him and checking up on him!!!). I think the mental exhaustion was unbearable, and I started to get migraines with the stress of wondering whether he was going to go off into a rage at any moment. He said I was too up and down, but I'm NOT !! It has taken me months to work out that we were on HIS rollercoaster, and he decided when it started and stopped. Not being on the rollercoaster is painful, because I am wandering round the fairground like a lost child, but at least I am not scared and exhausted any more. That's got to be worth something.

We all know that they are horrible creatures and not say or suggest thay anyone has suffered more than the other but I would say helldwellers is the worst. That man is freakin evil. Mine was evil but not nearly to the extent of Helldwellers. I hate that man with a passion and I've never laid eyes on him

We all know that they are horrible creatures and not say or suggest thay anyone has suffered more than the other but I would say helldwellers is the worst. That man is freakin evil. Mine was evil but not nearly to the extent of Helldwellers. I hate that man with a passion and I've never laid eyes on him

i always felt like this with my narc even if he was not ranting and raving, you could feel the anger and animosity oozing out of him, and b/c we spent alot of time out together, every time i would be thinking about going home, he would start ranting, and one day i said, why ,30mins b/f i go home do you get even nastier, why? he said thru gritted teeth, b/c i dont want you to f;;king leave, you know i dont have a f;;king life, i said yes cos you always mess everything up, and he said. please dont leave me!!..we were freinds only, but if he sometimes came to my house, it would only be for a limited time, a few hours, i had always set him a time to go, 30mins b/f the time to go ,he would start again. so i stopped inviting home, continued to meet him out, went thru it all again, so i stopped seeing him out so much.. in the end i finished all. he said to me once, i[him] have got a self destruct button, i said yes but you dont HAVE to keep pressing it.. but he did and always will.

The ex-Psych professor was the MOST negative person I've ever known. My Narc grandmother and my ex-Narc boss are capable of a measure of happiness, I could relax with either of them. The ex-P, on the other hand, ALWAYS complaining... and the only feelings he ever shared were negative ones. This was in the mid-'90s, before the Law of Attraction, and I told him that his negativity would have consequences. He was constantly dwelling on the void, a morbid fascination with suicide, and saying that he was destroying himself. He came to campus fancying himself a famous philosopher... when he wasn't. He was blaming the Big Mean World for the fact he was saddled with stupid students and unsympathetic colleagues. Downright paranoia. My grandmother and former boss have NPD, and they are not THAT paranoid. The ex-P didn't want me to be the one who ended the phone calls, he's the one who had to do so. He'd say desperately "Don't hang up on me!" I think he didn't like getting mail at work because it was one-sided (and not HIS side) and not on his terms. He was incredibly paranoid about it. He seemed to find everything boring. He said I was into religion, philosophy and music as a form of escapism from the hard realities of life-but he was so escapist that he took his philosophy from his mentor Cora Diamond, the Simpsons, and "War and Peace." After the final D&D, I remember telling him "This is real life. Not a Greek tragedy." A REAL man would've ended things with closure, dignity, and honesty.

made me feel exhausted. The unpredictability of when the next rage might happen & over what. Always feeling like you're walking on eggshells & just constantly tense, ready for the next mood to come out of left field. My exN was often highly anxious, worrying about everything, absolutely everything. We'd go out for a meal & he'd worry about the traffic getting there, worry if we'd find parking, worry that we'd get a table, worry that the food would be nice, worry that I wasn't enjoying myself, worry about something that happened to him during the day, worry about what was going to happen tomorrow.... and it was absolutely exhausting to be around when he was like that. No matter how much I tried to reassure him, calm him etc. He was also incredibly clingy, always needing attention & always watching me for any signs that I was upset with him [he was apparently terrified of that because that meant I'd abandon him] so I was constantly feeling required to be upbeat & reassuring all the time. If I missed a call from him he'd decide within half an hour that I had left him & would start calling me over & over in a panic - so I'd often have low level panic any time I had to go into a meeting or something where I'd not be able to answer the phone. And the thing is, so much of it happened like that frog in boiling water - my anxiety levels increased and energy levels decreased so slowly over the years that I never truly saw how bad it was getting when it was happening. Like you there were a few occasions where I just said to myself "This is just not right." Times when I'd feel such a deep sense of relief when he'd leave the house to go out on his own for a night or vice versa. But then, after a couple of hours, I'd just stick my head back in that giant bucket of sand! Sigh :) Emotional punching bag or emotional supply bag is right! And they never want us to leave & go home if they still have use for us! Ava xx