did any of yours do this?

14 posts / 0 new

#1 Jul 2 - 7PM

rainbow1

did any of yours do this?

So mine is running around telling people that he took me back once (no i took him back!) and that he will never do that again! he said he learned from lesson one and two that we wont work. he is also denying to people and getting defensive that i was over two weeks ago. he is even telling his room mate (who saw me) that hes crazy! are your guys' n's sound like they are saying "hopefully we can be together in the future". since mine isnt saying that am i more safe than the others? do you have any similar stories to share? id love to hear!

#2 Jul 4 - 8AM

Narcd Out

My ex-N actually made the

My ex-N actually made the comment, "who knows, maybe we can be together at some point in the future"...after the last time he hooked back up with the OW. On the other hand, mine also told his friends and family different stories as to why we broke up and made himself out to be the victim. Whichever story got him the most "supply" and attention, he went with, depending on his audience. And while he was telling me "who knows, maybe we can be together at some point in the future" he was telling the OW and his friends that I was a crazy, psycho bitch. Those comments are said to put a thought (or perhaps hope) in our minds that will linger. They say those things so we wonder what they are thinking and really, it puts them in a position of control once again. And the saddest part is that they discard us and hook up with others and leave that "maybe" seed planted so when they want to swoop back in and use us again, they have left the door open. It doesn't matter what they do or say, we are in control of whether we close that door for GOOD. It will make you mad when you hear the things he says about you and the relationship you had with him. But focus on what you know as the TRUTH. Be the bigger person and let him and his pathology do their thing. You deserve better than that!! All Narc'd Out:)

All Narc'd Out:)

#3 Jul 3 - 8PM

betty2020

oh my yes they just love to

oh my yes they just love to flip it all around. About two weeks ago i received a series of text messages from the freak that accused me of making contact with his new supply and trying to destroy his life. I have not made contact with anyone. I use to always say about my ex that they are an ex for a reason. This was my quote. Well he decided to steal it. So he told me that I am an ex for a reason. I laughed my ass off. I left his sorry ass not the other way around! He is so delusional that he cant even remember our relationship at all. Not even the end when i walked out. Just completely disconnected from reality. I have never seen anyone like this. so strange

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

#4 Jul 3 - 5AM

awayfromhim

Smear Campaign

I think most Ns, well at least the one I was with, go on a smear campaign when the break-up occurs. I filed for divorce. The N went around telling people, including the kids, that I had a boyfriend. Then he told people, including the kids, all sorts of nasty stuffâ€¦I'm a bitch, whore, crazy, etc. Then he told people, NOT including the kids, that he filed for divorce and could not wait to get rid of me. Very nasty, odd stuff. Sad part is many outside of the family believed him. Of course, he could not tell them the truth that I filed for divorce due to the fact he's an abusive, alcoholic narcissist. Anyway, one month after I filed (I am now divorced) he pulled a hoover and had written a "love" letter which was all about him. When I informed him that I would not reconcile that is when the smear campaign started, he flipped the N switch, and got himself a GF. It was only then that he basically left me alone. Sure, there were the rages when something didn't go his way, which, most of the time it didn't because I had an excellent lawyer. Long story short, the N goes on a smear campaign, which yours did. If he is leaving you alone, then he has probably found another source of supply.

#5 Jul 4 - 4AM (Reply to #10)

sweetsamm

smear campaign

This is so crazy,i swear you sound like the ex-wife of my 2mo narcissistic boyfriend..i mean EVERYTHING you described is what he said about his ex-wife,sammmmi

#6 Jul 4 - 6AM (Reply to #11)

awayfromhim

Ah, you mean he told you

Ah, you mean he told you that the ex was a crazed she-beast? ;-) Hopefully I can word this right. One of the things that kept me with the N was the question of what was wrong with me that I didn't see him as others did? How come he treated me horribly but he was a saint outside his tyrannical kingdom? It had to be ME, so I kept chasing my tail while going insane trying to meet expectations that I wasn't even aware of. I asked him many, many times to treat me like the neighbors or a co-worker. He'd then tell me things like I'm a jealous person, I need to get help , etc. It should not have surprised me that he went on the smear campaign. The N cannot, will not, ever, be someone who speaks the truth or, for that matter, recognizes it.

#7 Jul 3 - 3AM

Scoop

Just after he told me to

Just after he told me to f**k off when i was pregnant he was in the pub with his mates and said "scoops a great girl but we are just not right for each aother .. i think she will try and get back with me ".... what a boastful arogent idiot . What he didnt know is i was in no contact , that was over 4 months ago ... hahahahah., i wouldnt spit on him if he was on fire . Scoop x

#8 Jul 2 - 10PM

broken23

oh rainbow they will say

oh rainbow they will say anything to make you look like the nutty one. when i found out about the ow and called her. he said we had been over for months. when i told her i just threw him a bday party...he said i forced him to celebrate his bday and was trying to be nice. with his family he told a whole another set of lies.

#9 Jul 3 - 8AM (Reply to #6)

agnesmurphy17

Say Anything

They say anything to extract from the audience that which they are seeking. In my case, my ex-N told different people different stories. To the woman who replaced me immediately he told her we were over a long time ... just living in the same house a roomates. (Not true. And, he was begging me not to leave him as I was leaving & he was on his way to a date with the woman who was to replace me. Had I relented, would he have stood her up?) At work, I was a depressive, neurotic who could not be alone & was upset that he had to be away from me to work. (Uh! I have a job too.) With a friend, I was autistic & a drug addict. (I am a highly functioning professional.) Another friend, I was neurotic, fearful of intimacy, and just stopped loving him for no reason he could fathom. (This makes no sense.) But, people will believe what they want to believe. Whatever. Since the N is always right, always in control, and always the victim . . . of course there has to be something WRONG with YOU because he's PERFECT and there is not reason for the relationship not to work related to HIM.

#10 Jul 3 - 10PM (Reply to #7)

say anything....

mine told a collegue "I was bored at home. She made me seek sex from hookers." WHAT?? He stopped coming home, and trying to have sex with me (his wife!!!) He'd rather go into the jacuzzi alone or watch porn. He filed...but has told people I did. He may have stopped saying that since most people's reaction was "that would make sense for her to leave you." Mutual friends do not understand why he would leave a beautiful, sexy, sweet, loving, kind wife & a family. The only people who would believe his smear campaign are people that have never met you..

#11 Jul 2 - 8PM

Introspection

Hello sweetheart....

This is why it is so important to go NC. NC includes avoiding mutual friends so that you don't hear about what he is saying or doing. Ns will say and do things that we will never understand, most doesn't make sense. What is true is that they are broken and that we should avoid them. I hope you move on.

#12 Jul 2 - 10PM (Reply to #2)

NinjaGirl

Introspection

is completely right on the money, as usual. Only the insecure and the gullible will believe him, and you don't care about either of those groups, do you? Sorry, I'm not as level-headed and clear in my writing tonight as usual. I'm having a rough night.

#13 Jul 3 - 12AM (Reply to #3)

Introspection

Ninja sweetheart...

Many (((HUGS))), I recall those awful nights when I was drawn to the dark. Control your thoughts sweetheart. Turn on a comedy show, invite one of your good friends, and eat loads of your favorite ice cream! This too shall pass sweetheart.

#14 Jul 8 - 10AM (Reply to #4)

finallyletgo

you never know with

you never know with n's...although mine in teh past would keep a carrot in from of my face of maybe one day it will work out and maybe the timing now is bad .,.or maybe things will work out in teh future, there was also times were he said things that made it out as if he never was in love with me etc and really for years kept that going and saying he didnt want anything more...whilst usin gme and saying things off and on to keep me in his life...yo unever really know with Ns...i cant even make sense of the almost 8 yres of reason and things he said that were contradictions...i hope your n never contacts you again acuse its not because he cares or love syou...i have been broken up since aug and sticking to it, the first time i ever let go.. and he contacted me 5 months after through emails every so often to suck me back it...before i would have bought into it ..exN very covert ....but now i know it means nothing..its sad to except but know i wish he wouldnt at all...so i guess you never know but hopefully he is out of your life for good, and even if he does come back it means nothign

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