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Demasked the beast - No hoovering for me

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#1 May 28 - 6AM
gratefuljen
gratefuljen's picture

Demasked the beast - No hoovering for me

I called an ace an ace! In no uncertain terms. No more cognitive dissonance for me.

It was very freeing. I texted him, just several sentances that I know what it is. I don't care if it was negitive ns, it was my closure.

I have no more emotional pain trying to come to terms, of what it really is. Total honesty with myself.

All I ever was was ns. It never loved me. It took a while to accept that in my heart, but its the truth. And when I accepted that deep in my heart, I found freedom.

Freedom from the pain, freedom of the truth. Freedom from the obsession of it.

It's a hard pill to swallow. My heart resisted. But I plugged a head. It's four months today, that I kicked the nh to the curb.

I am so much better in four short months. I want to thank god, you guys, aa, and myself. We have come a long way toward healing.

Love you guys

Jen

May 29 - 12PM
Daisyd
Daisyd's picture

final text

that I sent to my ex NP was, 'you have worn me out there is nothing left, go find another girl' He texted back, ' I can do that.' I was thinking oh yeah? your face is sinking like a bassett hound more and more every day. Good luck with that! Jokes on him the older he gets he won't find the a source so quickly but hell I could be wrong! Correction, he will find one he will just have to pony up more money than he ever, ever spent on me. He will hate that!
May 29 - 3PM (Reply to #7)
SoaperGirl
SoaperGirl's picture

Final message to my narc

Basturd Narc Cheater! Ha! I knew it! You were looking for my replacement while we were together - now you're out shopping to replace Jan! Basturd Narc Cheater! No ethics, no integrity, no honor! What a joke you are as a man! You are so disgusting. Old, ugly Narc Basturd. Ugh! You make me sick to my stomach!
May 28 - 9AM
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

congrats Jen, I believe a

congrats Jen, I believe a power greater than me restored my sanity, and there is a solution if we get into action! Chris
May 28 - 9AM
adoette
adoette's picture

good for you

Glad you are feeling free and honest and confident. We have to cherish these moments, soak them up, and put them in writing. I'm curious what you actually texted him. I told the N that I "needed space" (51 days ago), and have been debating with myself about whether or not to tell him that it is OVER. If you are open to sharing what you texted him, post here or send me a PM. I so want to tell him I know what he is and we are through, but I also don't want to give him the satisfaction of hearing from me, (and me having to wait for him to respond AGAIN) ya know? How did you decide to tell him? From what you say, it looks like he knew it was over, but now he knows you have his number and can see through him. I am in full agreement with you that this forum is a saving space. Seriously so. Without it, I'm not sure i would be letting go this time. (((hugs))) and yay! for the positive wave you're feeling.
May 28 - 9AM (Reply to #2)
gratefuljen
gratefuljen's picture

Tearing the mask off

I texted-"your a man with no conscience, no morrals no soul. You have hurt every person that ever loved you. Your Mother, you kids and your wives. If there is a hell your going there. And if there is karma, you will get yours. Good bye Ron Farrell, I hope you rot in hell." I did not expect a response. He has no guts. He is a low functioning alky sn. I did this for me. It was my closure. I do believe in nc, but I needed to do this for me. To let him know, I know what he is. There will be no hoovering from him, because he now knows I know. It was cementing the door closed. I feel free, the sadness is gone. I know from experience that grief is never stagnant, that I might go back into the sadness, but I might not. It was so difficult to get at gut level, in my heart, that he really is an animal. He is not a human being. He has a body but no soul. The last four months have been hell. But I educated myself on npd. I have a support system here in in my life. Its hard, but I need to respect myself, love myself, and that means being honest. To never let myself be abused again. Love to all Jen
May 28 - 9AM (Reply to #3)
heritage
heritage's picture

gratefuljen

Jen, I did the same thing 4 months ago. I sent an email telling him I now know why he discarded (ex, 2 daughters and me) those that truly loved him. When his mask slipped I wish I had known about NPD then. But it didn't take lone after researching. During d&d I had never been through a break up like that before but it was mind boggling. He never responded to my eamil but I had to let him know and it caused me to reach a much higher ground. The way he abandon his kids always concerned me. I thought he may do it to me (promised to marry me) and sure enough "see ya" and on to the next one. They hate to be called on their bad behavior (narc injury) but I have too much self respect to deal with his humiliuation any longer.
May 28 - 7PM (Reply to #4)
hryan77
hryan77's picture

wow

I wish I had the balls to say to my exN what you did...but I think when I caught him cheating the first and second time I said similar things...he always bitched that I repeated myself...and nothing changed no matter what I said or how many times...so...I did tell him though (the night I left) that he was damn right it was over and he deserved to be alone. He said "yup, good luck" guess the few months before it was over I really did say what I needed to...and when I broke NC about getting my stuff I made him aware that I knew he had moved on long before I left. ugh I hope mine does rot...he can't blame me anymore...oh boo hoo hoo "you hurt me maybe beyond repair" because he claimed I withheld love...bs. That's all I gave him, until it bled me dry. Guess he shouldn't have lied from day 1...he did it to himself. Argh!!!!!!!