Delayed emotional reaction

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#1 Dec 13 - 6PM
Alexy
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Delayed emotional reaction

I have been feeling defiant and strong and pushing through, even after he sent me a texts for the first time a week and a half ago, to which I didn't respond, but have found myself taking a few steps backwards mentally which as we know... can mean emotionally stinging a little.
I haven't cried in over a month (which was the last contact which I swore to never ever engage again.)
And this morning, woke up feeling deflated and a little sad thinking of him and completely broke down.

I haven't had him on my mind as much, just fleeting moments that come and go very quickly. Ive felt more in control and I honestly didn't think his texts evoked a reaction at the time, yet, a week and a half later and I feel like its a delayed reaction of sorts.

I have blocked him and know I wont get anymore texts.
I guess ive just been worried that I haven't dealt with the situation but more so kind of blocked it out and kept myself busy and focused on me... but is that just the way we deal with it?

I know we have to ride the wave of emotions and this feeling will pass... I just didn't want to feel like this anymore, just wanted to be the strong defiant no nonsense approach.

Im not even sure what it is im sad or emotional about.
I know I am confused as to how he could think it normal to just send me texts, like nothing has happened, like its all good. And what did he want? what was the point?

It is so true that contact=pain.

I know for a fact if he hadn't of text me I would NOT be where I am right now mentally or emotionally... and that answers the question above I guess.....I just need to not be so hard on myself for being upset and that its ok to not be strong all the time.

No blinkers here. No fantasy thoughts.
It is what it is.
I just have no interest to care about him anymore and am angry that I am even allowing myself to react this way.

I would rather this pain with the view of potential for better things to come my way and dealing with personal growth, than the alternative, being stuck with him and the emotional rollercoaster where there was no end, no light at the end of the tunnel, just a merry go round playing the same crap, feeling the same feelings and nothing getting better and where I am the only real loser in the scenario because I was always made to feel like it was me with the problem.

I know I know better..... don't want the weak days anymore thanks!

Dec 17 - 8AM
Goldie
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Normal?

Dec 17 - 8AM
Hunter
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"IT IS WHAT IT IS" That's

Dec 15 - 4PM
Payitforward
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Been feeling the same

Dec 17 - 3AM (Reply to #9)
Alexy
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It's a tough roller coaster

Dec 17 - 5AM (Reply to #10)
BlindNoMore
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That's right, Alexy. Great

Dec 14 - 9PM
Emerald11
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The last time my ex left me,

Dec 17 - 4AM (Reply to #7)
Alexy
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It is very comforting to know

Dec 13 - 10PM
Janie53
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Alexy

Dec 13 - 11PM (Reply to #5)
Alexy
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Thanks Janie, I do think that

Dec 13 - 9PM
jjj1984
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Hi Alexy

Dec 13 - 11PM (Reply to #2)
Alexy
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Completely true! 100%

Dec 14 - 10AM (Reply to #3)
kelliejean123
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your a strong person!