Degrees of Narcness?

77 posts / 0 new
Last post
Oct 3 - 8AM (Reply to #13)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Sick of it

Reaching out on a paranormal level.... Hmmm, no I can't say that I have heard of this, but I'm very intrigued. Anyone else hear of this or have any experience with this. Really good question!
Oct 3 - 9AM (Reply to #14)
gettinbetter's picture

Yes Lisa sometimes I feel

Yes Lisa sometimes I feel him like he's right there. Like he wants to be normal almost like hes saying help me. Its so strange. I have had a strange emotional connection this man my entire life even during the 15 years I didnt see him. He passed in and out of my life for over 25 years when there is really no explanation for why we keep showing up in eachothers lives. To expand on this, I had not seen the Narc in 15 years as he had moved out of my city. I had no idea where he was just nothing. Lo and behold he popped into my head one day. A couple of days after that I was at a happy hour and recounted and incident that had happened to me and the Narc. Well not even two weeks later my dog died and I was feeling incredibly sad and didnt leave the house all weekend so I was surfing the net and decided to get on FB. I had been on FB snooping before but never activating my account. I had no desire. I just wanted to see who all was on there and I looked for him and he wasnt. But this time it was different something told me to activate my FB account so I did. I found him immediately and it turned out that he too had just opened an account. We were within 10 days of eachother. I cant tell you how many coincedences I have had with this man making appearances in my life when there really should have been no reason to. Its bizarre and uncanny even mores so that his name is that of my father (whom I loved beyond belief now deceased) and is not super common name at all and the list goes on...
Oct 3 - 9AM (Reply to #15)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

sick of it

Wow, I can see why it would give you reason to pause and wonder if it's some kind of fate that you should be together. I don't think that's what it means though. I truly believe that we meet some people in life in order to learn something from them. They are meant to teach us something. It doesn't necessarily mean they should be a life-long partner to us. It simply means we were supposed to learn something from them that will prepare us for what is awaiting us that day when we do meet our true love. It may sound cliche, but I believe it. Someone posted an excerpt from "Eat, Pray and Love" about the author's definition of a soul mate. If I can find it, I'll repost it, but I think the message is profound. It talks about how we are meant to meet some people in life, but not because we are meant to spend the rest of our lives with them. Instead, because they are meant to have a profound impact on our lives somehow and teach us something very powerful. I think this is how you need to start viewing your relationship with him. xoxo
Oct 3 - 9AM (Reply to #16)
gettinbetter's picture

Oh Lisa thats not even the

Oh Lisa thats not even the half of the coincendences I have had with this man since age 17. He even admits that it is uncanny. Here's another one. I hadnt spoken to him in quite sometime and wham I get a call from him 3 weeks before my wedding. Anyway yes I do think he has been put in my life for a reason to learn something. I just dont know what it is. I keep looking for the reason but I dont see it yet
Oct 3 - 12PM (Reply to #17)
better off
better off's picture

Ummm... don't you think he

Ummm... don't you think he probably heard you were getting married? And just "happened" to call? He's hoodwinked you into thinking he has a cosmic connection to you when he's really just keeping tabs on you! Which is TYPICAL of them. One of the reasons the exN had such amazing insight into me, was that he was READING MY EMAIL. So, he had a window into "my soul" alright.
Oct 3 - 1PM (Reply to #18)
gettinbetter's picture

oh yes

He had heard about my father being ill and my engagement. He asked in a half joking way if I would have dinner with him of course I declined and he wished me well. One year later my father died and a week later He runs into my best friend in a restaurant and asks Is she ok? It is not he that thinks there is a cosmic connection in fact he buys into none of that though he did say I think we're back in eachothers lives for a reason but its really me who feels some weird sort of connection to him. I feel I have to agree with Lisa he has been in my life for a reason. The way it has all happened over the years is just too weird. Though I would like to think that it was because we were meant to be together I know it is not. He's been in my life to learn something I havent learned and God keeps putting him back until I get it.
Oct 3 - 8AM
imabloke's picture


I feel their life's are a contradiction... My ex (she) would have moments of utter despair.. unconsolable despair.. she wouldn't let me in to help - could have been guilt - i don't know she might be borderline - again i don't know. She would go on about how she felt she had fucked things up etc... and she has at least 3 times.. that's the contradication... in their pursuit for perfection and unequated happiness they end up destroying the very beautiful relationship they helped create.. I know you guys will say 'what relationship' - BUT in their minds it was a relationship. That's the point they just don't get it because they don't FEEL empathy and never will. Shame really. They can't commit - it frightens them.. because of their abandonment issues. Just my pennys worth.
Oct 3 - 7AM
Meadowbrook's picture


I agree with what others have said, especially Marissa who says "don't be fooled". The N I knew would cry and it was SO believable. I have found out things since that prove he lied but when I think back to his moments of lying I'm amazed at how good he was and how believable. They are humans, not robot, alien beings and some of them have feelings and know deep down what they are. But it doesn't mean they can or will change. Don't be fooled.
Oct 3 - 12PM (Reply to #8)
better off
better off's picture

Oh yes

Crocodile tears.. they should be on the stage, really.
Oct 3 - 12PM (Reply to #9)
Susan32's picture

Okay, the vote goes for the alligator teething toy...

Since Ns/Ps suffer from arrested development. The ex-P couldn't even fake tears. After I had lost my grandfather, he was merciless towards me, accusing me of "wanting to be pitied" and "not managing my feelings." He even played the victim claiming I had "forced" him to apologize after his appalling treatment of me DURING CLASS after my grandfather died ("vee haf vays of making you apologize") Since the ex-P's father and my baby nephew's father have the SAME name, I guess the alligator teething toy goes to the ex-P. (My nephew is growing up in Massachusetts, like the ex-P, talk about bizarre) Chalk it up to simple confusion. "When your Daddy leaves you in the play pen during the causality forum, you can nibble on this, your teeth were so bad you've probably got only 5 left"
Oct 3 - 7AM
Tinker's picture


mine does this too. i do think they have moments when they realize they're devoid and lonely and mimic what they think others do to get the attention that they need. i've seen mine cry and say he's lonely but he doesn't know how to consistently and truly have the relationship to get him out of that. we fall for their occasional pain and rare moments of self awareness like they've had a breakthrough but nothing changes, NOTHING! don't be fooled! marissa
Oct 3 - 9AM (Reply to #6)
wholeagain's picture


The ex was forever "suddenly realizing" something or other, or things became "crystal clear" or...whatever. All these epiphanies that gave me a lot of hope, but amounted to sound and fury, signifying n-o-t-h-i-n-g. Except giving me hope that things would be different. Sometimes they were, for a while, until he got distracted or bored, then it was more of the same. That said, I do think he has had moments where he's aware on a more human level, and I learned that when I saw that it may be true, right at that moment, but probably only for that moment. They just don't last.
Oct 3 - 6AM
jaycee's picture

degrees of narcness

sick of it, I know where you are coming from, there are times, i think his heart is there, and hes actually feeling something, but then reality sets in and i realize he is projecting off of me, simply because that is all he knows how to do, is take my emotions and make them his own for the moment, then the monster awakes and no need to project its only momentarily. i think they do this when they sense they need something from us, or they are unhappy, moreso than usual, and need to feel something or get certain supply from us that the world is not giving them. im starting to understand why mine does the things he does, and says the things he says, only for his own selfish needs, dont fall into the trap, ive fallen into for so long, i almost knew nothing else, but now im trying to only hear charlie browns teacher on the telephone when he speaks, trying to hear only gibberish, nothing comprehensible, if that is a word, i trying not to comprehend any of the bs anymore, its not real, its only part of the severe narcissism........


Oct 3 - 4AM
Mariline's picture

how can you be sure he is

how can you be sure he is not mimicking? Contradictory messages....this is why we deal with cognitive dissonance, this is why we all hurt so much, this is why is so difficult to get over it.If only they could tell us "go to hell" and be consistent to it, it would be so easier. But they do not give us this. It would be TOO easy.
Oct 3 - 4AM
ewa's picture

There were moments i felt my

There were moments i felt my really could feel something too. But now i just think he pretend it to make everything look more dramatic, then it really was. No more drama!
Oct 3 - 9AM (Reply to #2)
onwithmylife's picture

N's and degrees of it

i think my EXN knew something was wrong with hin, when years ago I picked him up a the airport after flying to see he brother, who was dying and when he got back, he said to me,: something must be the matter with me because everyone was crying but me", he just did not know what was wrong or have the insight to get professional help and find out.Also the time food from his freezer fell on my head when I went to open the freezer door,cause it was so packed and he said,:I'm crazy aren't I"All litle glimpses but never did anything about it.He also may have been too afraid to look inside because it would be horrifying to see how much destruction he left behind towards so many people.