dear mr cant love......

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#1 Nov 30 - 2AM
hope29's picture

dear mr cant love......

Dear Mr Cant love,

I thought it was me who could never feel loved, as u always said 'no matter who u with ule never feel loved its just u' may be it is but blowing hot and cold with me was never gonna help the situation....

Neither was disgarding me 3 times, going out every single night, always asking me to help u out with money or making me feel sorry for u so u didnt need to help me financially, cheating on me, screaming at me, slamming doors, lieing to my face, going behind my back, turning people against me, making me feel crazy, paranoid, telling me the tears wont wash, never wanting sex from me, we never went any where coz we had no money, but u cud go out every weekend, or on holidays and car racing weekends, Never helping me with little man, always being to tired, and if u did help i felt like walking on egg shells coz u were stomping round tidying the house saying 'its disgusting this house' and banging thingss around making me and my babies feel on edge,

I no we did go couple counciling, and it did help u, u charmed the lady over, told blatent lies about our homelife, made me look like the pethetic one, told her it turned u off how needy i was and that sex was just a chore to make me feel loved, Having to comprimise on u going out 4 nights a week!!! and us having to have a sex ban of 2 weeks...a good excuse to not have to come near me at all... Good job the counciling didnt everything else hey

It wasnt all bad u made me feel so loved wen we cuddled on the couch the odd night for 20 mins, and how u would cuddle me in the kitchen while i was running round doing everything and u was playing computer games, or how u wanted sex with me at 5 in the morning coz u were to high to sleep....or the txs u sent me saying how much u loved me but then disapearing all night.....

My little family has been destroyed by ur lies and horrible ways, it breaks my heart that i had a baby with u for u to just walk away and find someone else, whos younger then me, It breaks my heart how nice uve been since we have split up with ur constant phone calls and txting and emails making me think u might just want to come back.... Or txting me saying tell my boy i love him, if u love him why do u never want to see him and put ur new girlfriend first??? Its all talk and show or to keep me on a string.... Well not any more, im closing the door on our miserable relationship...the relationship that never was, the perfect relationship which lasts a few months each time u get back with me!

I want me back, i want my confidence back, i want some friends, a life, and people who love me an respect me and i will get this, i love u so much and probably always will but i just wish u could see the damage what has been done, i no it wasnt all bad, we did have good days every blue moon but i wish u could realise u cannot treat people like this and then chuck them away becos uve got bored, u cant treat people this way.

I dont hate u, wish i could it might make this easier i just need to move forward now and get strong with out u. Take care