Dealing with jealousy and mutual friends

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#1 Jan 11 - 8PM
LJ1207
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Dealing with jealousy and mutual friends

My ex dumped me about five weeks ago. At first I thought I was grieving a normal relationship but things he's said since then and things I've found out about him, added to confusing things about our relationship have made me realize he is narcissistic, although perhaps not a fully fledged narcissist - he was never openly abusive or controlling. But he wasn't intimate, covertly blamed me, wanted everything to be perfect, is self centered and needs constant attention from lots of people especially women.
We have lots of mutual friends. One woman in our group of friends has obviously been keen on him for a while and I caught him texting her, although he did this with many friends. He reassured me he had absolutely no interest in her whatsoever as more than a friend. But since we broke up they comment on each other's Facebook posts often, she signs up for all the same meetups as him, and they've openly spent time together as friends.
On finding out from another friend that he once engaged in an open friends with benefits fling in front of everyone about a year ago, and that he has been hitting on other women before he got together with me, I deleted him from my Facebook friends, and this other woman who is chasing him too. The problem is I now have even less of an idea if they are getting together or not. I'd love to know either way so I can know how bad this guy is, to allow me to be less heartbroken and anxious, or to know if this is something I need to actually grieve about too, or at least... Just to know. I don't want to find out later and for it to be a shock. This is adding to my difficulty in processing the whole thing. This woman is less attractive but they get on well; will he lead her on for attention, just go for it because he secretly does want her, or not risk it because then - as he's probably incapable of a proper relationship - our friends really will know what he's really like with two heartbroken women in the group.
I'm in a tricky situation anyway. I've cut these two out of my life but will also have to ensure I don't run into them, signing up for meetups they're not going to, and everyone can probably see that's what I'm doing. I've considered cutting all ties with this meetup group and our mutual friends but some people are too important to me to do this, and I'd resent having to. I'm so anxious about the whole thing. I'd just like to know what's going on. I know advice will be that I just need to let it go and accept whatever might be happening and eventually I won't care anyway. But how do I get to that place when it's a thing in my life right now. Is there any comfort to be found? How could he just get with her? Will he really? I just have no idea. I hate this.
He's not a full narcissist either. But on the other hand I didn't know him long enough to know how bad he really is or what he might be feeling or doing. This makes it harder to make sense of everything.
Another close friend of his, a guy I'm also friends with is acting really awkward around me which makes me think my ex has said something, or at least it's been noticed I've blocked him on social media. What is going on or being said?
I'm not sorry to be away from someone like him, but I at least want to know if I meant anything to him at all. And I just don't know because I don't know how bad or how much of a narc he is. How do I deal with all of this?

Jan 29 - 7PM
Timetofaceit
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Same predicament.

Timetofaceit